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User

Posted 08 Feb 2016 at 06:18

well last night we where on the skype with the son who lives in Canada, thought it was time I mentioned about him needing a PSA test, he told me already made enquiries about one and that in Canada they start doing them from the age of 40, have asked him if he can request one before he is 40 which is next year, it wasn't planned asking him I just said it was not the easiest thing I have done, brought back all the guilt I felt

regards

nidge

run long and prosper
'pooh how do you spell love'
'piglet you dont spell love -you just feel it'

User

Posted 08 Feb 2016 at 09:32

Nidge,

I have 2 nephews in their mid thirties. They are both non meat eaters and rely on a heavy dairy diet.
I have spoken to them about the genetic link with PCa and the need to seek advice re diet and Psa testing.

As a direct blood relation I thought it was my duty to do this!
And yes I felt a little guilty too for ' throwing this at them" but would have felt worse if I hadn't .

John

User

Posted 08 Feb 2016 at 10:08

Hi Nidge,

I feel guilt about my whole health situation.

Should have checked out symptoms I was getting at least a couple of years before the cancer diagnosis. My son, like yours, is at greater risk. What sort of gift is that to pass on to the next generation. Missing so much work following my heart attack. Not working hard enough to battle fatigue and try and find extra work. Most of all not protecting my family and our home.

Steve

User

Posted 08 Feb 2016 at 10:41

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member

regards

nidge

Why do you feel guilty Nidge?

Prostate Cancer and cancers is a disease of our time, our generation it seems. Most of us will be affected in some way.

If you do not warn your sons, then you might have something to feel guilty about.

None of us at our age saw this coming, not the specialists, not us mere mortals. All we can do is manage it as best we can to limit the effects on our offspring. I have warned my sons about their diets and lifestyle, they choose to carry on as normal. I feel sad not guilty, I have done all I can to help and advise them.

atb

dave

All we can do - is do all that we can.

So, do all you can to help yourself, then make the best of your time. :-)

I am the statistic.

User

Posted 08 Feb 2016 at 12:24

Nidge

it would be much worse if you could not warn your son, you did not choose for this to happen to you it just has, fate, sign of modern times, bad luck or call it what you will. There should be no blame associated at all.

Mick had a somewhat estranged son who was never really part of our everyday life (unlike his daughter who is my life) He was 40 shortly after Mick was diagnosed and we managed to track him down through my step daughter, I was worried he would somehow try to blame his Dad as he has for other things that have gone wrong in his life, but he did not. If anything it slghtly reconciled them. He got tested at 40 and everything so far is fine. He really appreciated being advised. It also taught me a huge lesson that estrangement doesn't mean that someone doesn't still care. He is no longer estranged he just keeps himself to himself! I think all directly related males have some right to know.

I don't make a thing of it to the men in my family or male friends as I feel that would be presumptious, in any case that is really a different scenario. I answer questions if they are asked. However I do try to make them aware of possible symptoms and of what they have the right to ask for if they are concerned by sharing posts of national campaigns and current publicity with them mostly via social media. That way it becomes informed by choice.

Best wishes to you
xx
Mo

User

Posted 09 Feb 2016 at 06:10

been informed that our son is going in for a PSA check on Tuesday, he is aged 39 and his aged is not an issue in Canada

regards
nidge

run long and prosper
'pooh how do you spell love'
'piglet you dont spell love -you just feel it'

User

Posted 09 Feb 2016 at 06:49

Good news then my friend.

I remain cross that my doctor never thought he should tell my dad to tell me to have a test as my dad has PC but has been treated successfully where as I am in the other camp. I then find out only last night that another chap I know lost his father to PC and off his own back decided to have a test ( with no symptoms) and lo and behold he has PC but mercifully contained so opting for removal, again no one told him of the increased risk. Makes me mad do well done you for grasping the nettle!

Take care

Kev

Dream like you have forever, live like you only have today Avatar is me doing the 600 mile Camino de Santiago May 2019

User

Posted 09 Feb 2016 at 19:22

It seems there is a great lack of awareness around PCa isn't there? My father in law had dreadful urine retention/urgent problems but as he was unwell with other issues, these symptoms were all linked -no reason!!- to his general health and never once was psa mentioned despite regular blood tests for other things. Sadly, he passed away due to heart/lung problems (not cancer related) so we will never know if he had PCa. Brother I law isn't interested in Having a test, says he feels fine aged 58, back and hip pain is just old age!! It's only now we are affected by it and are awareness ambassadors for a local prostate cancer charity, that we realise the great lack of information that is visible to 'the average male or their partners'. How many would think to be more vigilant because their mother had breast cancer and they are at greater risk? I your own way, you all help with awareness, if only 1 friend or family member gets tested, then that's all to the good.

User

Posted 09 Feb 2016 at 21:15

I posted earlier about talking to my nephews.

What I didn't mention was that my elder brother (69) has never had a Psa test and does not intend to.
He was the practice manager for a GP surgery and his wife the practice nurse there. I was amazed that neither of them are concerned.
But there is nothing I can do about it.
When I asked they told me " there are so many false positives that we don't want the worry."

My brother has found it extremely difficult to cope with my disease. In fact he refuses to talk about it.
My wife and I are hurt by this but now just accept that is how they/ he is.

On the other hand my sister is great. She made her husband have a Psa test ( clear ).

User

Posted 10 Feb 2016 at 00:29

Hi,

The first port of call after being given the confirmation from the harpoon up my nether region that I had cancer was to see my son.My father and maternal grandfather had both died from PC and because of this familial link I requested a psa. I wanted my lad to be with me on the journey so that he had insight into my situation and involve him in any decision making I made.
I have advised him to request a PSA in 8 years when he is 40.
I did write to the Health Secretary on the back of the government's announcement about increased screening for cancer. I understand the arguments against mass screening but did want to ask about advising men with a family history of PC to request a PSA test. I got a standard reply from one of his team and a suggestion that I forward my concerns to NHS England which I duly did and got no further.

Paul

THE CHILD HAS GROWN, THE DREAM HAS GONE

User

Posted 10 Feb 2016 at 07:28

When my husband was diagnosed the urologist told us to make sure our sons got tested from the age of 35! Our younger son registered with a new GP a few months ago and was given a DRE having told him about his father. He is only 29 at the moment but glad the GP listened to him. The DRE appeared fine.

Rosy

User

Posted 10 Feb 2016 at 08:08

Posted in error. Apologies.

dave

Edited by member 10 Feb 2016 at 09:06 | Reason: Not specified

All we can do - is do all that we can.

So, do all you can to help yourself, then make the best of your time. :-)

I am the statistic.

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