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My dad has just be diagnosed, I'm scared!

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User
Posted 09 Apr 2016 at 22:45
My dad who is 69yrs old, had trouble urinating for quite a while, but it wasn't until a few weeks ago, he spoke up about and decided to see GP. He had a blood test, PSA was 3, but doc had a feel of prostate and found lump, dad thinks he said one on each side, he was nervous and can't remember, so he was referred for biopsy.

8 cores were tested and 3 were positive. He's been given a Gleason score of 3+4=7. He is having MRI next week.

I'm so scared! As he had symptoms, my thoughts are that maybe he's had the cancer years and it's now grown enough to cause the symptoms and probably spread outside the prostate! I know I shouldn't over think, but I can't help it! Hoping for support and advise from this community.

Wishing u all the best.

Colleen.

User
Posted 10 Apr 2016 at 20:21
Hi Colleen

It is normal to be scared of things that we see as a threat but don't fully understand especially when you are suddenly thrust into the situation with no real opportunity to prepare for it.

Your Dad may feel the same way and so

if you are able to take a deep breath and explore your situation together you find that things will become less scary the more you find out.

Nothing is going to happen suddenly so look for the Toolkit on this site and take time to quietly read the information. The hospital will complete the tests and then discuss possibilties with your Dad. If he is happy for you to go with him to his appointments then you will know what is happening and be able to ask questions which will be helpful to you both. As everything unfolds and you have information to work with hopefully you will find things less scary and realise that this a situation that can be managed.

Talk to Dad - he is lucky to have you to help him come to terms with this unexpected situation.

Kevan

User
Posted 10 Apr 2016 at 19:39
C

Sometimes new posts get delayed through the moderation process, replying will bump your message up the posts.

New members are advised to either download or order the toolkit from the site, this gives info on treatments etc.

I think there are many of on here who get diagnosed almost by accident and may have had cancer for some years without knowing, and we are still around.

You will not get a full picture until all the scans are done then your Dad will be given treatment options.

As we say on here there are no silly questions.

Nice to know your are looking for dad.

Thanks Chris

Edited by member 10 Apr 2016 at 19:48  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 10 Apr 2016 at 20:00
Thanks for replying Chris. Appreciate the tip.

I shall update on here with his MRI results, here's hoping we won't be waiting too long. It's very reassuring to read others journeys. My dad feeling very low at the moment, think it's now slowly sinking in and he's not one for hospitals and 'fuss', but we are a very close family, so we're in this together. I wish u all the best.

Colleen.

User
Posted 10 Apr 2016 at 20:35

Hi Colleen, welcome to this site from me as well. Waiting for results and appointments is very hard to do and being worried is part of it but try and stay calm, or at least keep your dad calm, read as much as you can about PCa(not from dr Google)and ask whatever you want from members on this site we will all try and help if we can.

My story so far is I am 66 years old and was diagnosed in Feb last year with a PSA 63, Gleason 3+4=7 and T2 staging and aggressive PCa confined to the prostate, similar to your dad so let's hope MRI results say the same, I was started on Zoladex hormone therapy(HT) and had 37 fractions of radio therapy(RT) ended in Nov 2015. At start of RT my PSA had dropped to 0.5 and in Jan this year dropped to 0.01 and officially undetectable. I shall be on HT for next twelve months and PSA will be monitored every three months.
I was not offered a radical prostectomy because my prostate was too close to the rectum wall.

I tell you this to show that unless the cancer has broken out of the capsule it has been less invasive than I at first feared and until you have the MRI results and seen whatever treatment plan will be offered you can do nothing about it apart from research and worrying will achieve nothing.

Try to stay positive throughout this ordeal and tell your dad to carry on as normal if he can and take one step at a time. Ask any questions whatsoever as there are no taboo subjects. Also if you or your dad feel the need for one to one talking then the specialist nurses on this site will be a great help to you.

Best wishes and let's hope the results of the MRI scan are favourable.

Regards Chris/Woody

Life seems different upside down, take another viewpoint

User
Posted 10 Apr 2016 at 22:36

Welcome, Colleen.
It is scary. I am sure your dad is scared too.
Of all the cancers this one isn't the worst.
Your Dad will have to see what all the results of the investigations are, and then weigh up his choices. It is not a condition for which it is easy to work out what will work best. The advantages and disadvantages of each option including 'active surveillance' need careful consideration by your dad, in terms of what is important to him and to those around him.
He might use this place, other resources Prostate Cancer UK provides, and/ or a local group for people affected by prostate cancer. Tackle is the national organisation for local groups, so go to their website.
Good luck, and keep us updated.
Henry

User
Posted 10 Apr 2016 at 23:55

Hi Colleen,

Sometimes in addition to an MRI scan they want to do a bone scan so this is a possibility. When all is done and considered by the medical team a meeting should follow when your Dad will be told his diagnosis and treatment options that are available to him. I note that Dad is unsure of some of the details he was previously given so it would be a good idea for somebody to accompany him and possibly make a few notes so these can be further considered later in his own time.

It's certainly a worrying time, not helped by waiting for a diagnosis and formulating a treatment plan with Dad's agreement.

Treatments have improved greatly over recent years so men have a better chance of PCa being eradicated or curtailed even if in some cases additional treatment has to be given in due course.

Do let us know how Dad gets on.

Barry
User
Posted 11 Apr 2016 at 05:34

hi colleen
hello from me also, we have some great folk on here lots with very info, another good place to call are the specialist nurses on this site, as already been said its a scary place to be, and waiting for tests and then the results seems a lifetime

good your dad has you in his corner, don't forget if you can go with dad to all his appointments take a note book and pen to write down what is said, when I 1st went had wife brother and daughter with me, ask for a copy of all clinical notes, even now 1yr later am still reading and understanding mine, have built up a file.

anyone on here will be happy to give info, read our avatars tells you about the journey we are on

just remember he is still DAD and love him

regards
nidge

run long and prosper

'pooh how do you spell love'

'piglet you dont spell love -you just feel it'

User
Posted 11 Apr 2016 at 19:07

Not happy times, the PCUK nurses are very good and you can call them or chat on line. I cannot speak for your Dad, but my father was diagnosed with PCa 18 years ago aged 69 and he is still alive, so don't give up hope.

User
Posted 03 May 2016 at 12:19
Well Dad had his MRI results this morning.... Best possible news, the Cancer is contained and he was given 2 options.... Radiotherapy or surgery. He's gonna go for the surgery. Dad didn't find out the T staging, but I'm guessing T2c? Will hopefully get a copy of notes through soon, so I can give more detail. So relieved right now! Hope all well with u all.
User
Posted 03 May 2016 at 18:47

Good to hear that news.
Henry

User
Posted 03 May 2016 at 22:22

Hi,

I'm so pleased that you've had the news that your father's cancer appears to be contained within the prostate.  It greatly improves his chances of successful treatment.

I hope everything goes well for him.

Keep in touch with us all here, we'll be pleased to hear of his progress.

Steve

Edited by member 03 May 2016 at 22:24  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 23 May 2016 at 15:07
Hope all goes well today
User
Posted 23 May 2016 at 15:12

Hope all goes well for your dad today Colleen.

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
User
Posted 23 May 2016 at 16:21
Hi Colleen

Hoping all goes well for Dad today. It will take time for him to get over the op so make sure he does as he is told like the rest of us guys always do !!

Kind regards,

Kevan

User
Posted 23 May 2016 at 21:46

Hope for a very good outcome. Impress on Dad the need to take things easy as he will doubtless be advised. This is a major operation and should be treated accordingly.

Barry
User
Posted 24 May 2016 at 16:30

We dad went down for surgery at 2.30 pm yesterday and at 2.30pm today, I was driving him in his driveway! He glad to be home, but in a lot of pain, more like gas pain from the Co2 they use during surgery. They are pleased with how the op went, they said his prostate was 4" long, so they had to make a bigger incision to remove it. The tumour was in both sides of the prostate, but they got it out with no complications. Now on the road to recovery, 2 weeks with catheter then will see what happens next. Will keep you informed on his journey.

User
Posted 21 Jul 2016 at 08:06

Thanks for the update Colleen.

It's always good when members follow through with information, it encourages others, especially the newly diagnosed.

Best Wishes

Sandra


********

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
Show Most Thanked Posts
User
Posted 10 Apr 2016 at 19:39
C

Sometimes new posts get delayed through the moderation process, replying will bump your message up the posts.

New members are advised to either download or order the toolkit from the site, this gives info on treatments etc.

I think there are many of on here who get diagnosed almost by accident and may have had cancer for some years without knowing, and we are still around.

You will not get a full picture until all the scans are done then your Dad will be given treatment options.

As we say on here there are no silly questions.

Nice to know your are looking for dad.

Thanks Chris

Edited by member 10 Apr 2016 at 19:48  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 10 Apr 2016 at 20:00
Thanks for replying Chris. Appreciate the tip.

I shall update on here with his MRI results, here's hoping we won't be waiting too long. It's very reassuring to read others journeys. My dad feeling very low at the moment, think it's now slowly sinking in and he's not one for hospitals and 'fuss', but we are a very close family, so we're in this together. I wish u all the best.

Colleen.

User
Posted 10 Apr 2016 at 20:21
Hi Colleen

It is normal to be scared of things that we see as a threat but don't fully understand especially when you are suddenly thrust into the situation with no real opportunity to prepare for it.

Your Dad may feel the same way and so

if you are able to take a deep breath and explore your situation together you find that things will become less scary the more you find out.

Nothing is going to happen suddenly so look for the Toolkit on this site and take time to quietly read the information. The hospital will complete the tests and then discuss possibilties with your Dad. If he is happy for you to go with him to his appointments then you will know what is happening and be able to ask questions which will be helpful to you both. As everything unfolds and you have information to work with hopefully you will find things less scary and realise that this a situation that can be managed.

Talk to Dad - he is lucky to have you to help him come to terms with this unexpected situation.

Kevan

User
Posted 10 Apr 2016 at 20:35

Hi Colleen, welcome to this site from me as well. Waiting for results and appointments is very hard to do and being worried is part of it but try and stay calm, or at least keep your dad calm, read as much as you can about PCa(not from dr Google)and ask whatever you want from members on this site we will all try and help if we can.

My story so far is I am 66 years old and was diagnosed in Feb last year with a PSA 63, Gleason 3+4=7 and T2 staging and aggressive PCa confined to the prostate, similar to your dad so let's hope MRI results say the same, I was started on Zoladex hormone therapy(HT) and had 37 fractions of radio therapy(RT) ended in Nov 2015. At start of RT my PSA had dropped to 0.5 and in Jan this year dropped to 0.01 and officially undetectable. I shall be on HT for next twelve months and PSA will be monitored every three months.
I was not offered a radical prostectomy because my prostate was too close to the rectum wall.

I tell you this to show that unless the cancer has broken out of the capsule it has been less invasive than I at first feared and until you have the MRI results and seen whatever treatment plan will be offered you can do nothing about it apart from research and worrying will achieve nothing.

Try to stay positive throughout this ordeal and tell your dad to carry on as normal if he can and take one step at a time. Ask any questions whatsoever as there are no taboo subjects. Also if you or your dad feel the need for one to one talking then the specialist nurses on this site will be a great help to you.

Best wishes and let's hope the results of the MRI scan are favourable.

Regards Chris/Woody

Life seems different upside down, take another viewpoint

User
Posted 10 Apr 2016 at 22:35
Thanks for taking time to reply. I have been thro a lot of your profiles and read your 'diarys'. I'm very pleased I joined the community, it has helped me see there is hope.

What a lovely groups of people you all are, I'm so sorry u all have to go through with this battle. I shall keep u updated with my dad's results.

Colleen.

User
Posted 10 Apr 2016 at 22:36

Welcome, Colleen.
It is scary. I am sure your dad is scared too.
Of all the cancers this one isn't the worst.
Your Dad will have to see what all the results of the investigations are, and then weigh up his choices. It is not a condition for which it is easy to work out what will work best. The advantages and disadvantages of each option including 'active surveillance' need careful consideration by your dad, in terms of what is important to him and to those around him.
He might use this place, other resources Prostate Cancer UK provides, and/ or a local group for people affected by prostate cancer. Tackle is the national organisation for local groups, so go to their website.
Good luck, and keep us updated.
Henry

User
Posted 10 Apr 2016 at 23:55

Hi Colleen,

Sometimes in addition to an MRI scan they want to do a bone scan so this is a possibility. When all is done and considered by the medical team a meeting should follow when your Dad will be told his diagnosis and treatment options that are available to him. I note that Dad is unsure of some of the details he was previously given so it would be a good idea for somebody to accompany him and possibly make a few notes so these can be further considered later in his own time.

It's certainly a worrying time, not helped by waiting for a diagnosis and formulating a treatment plan with Dad's agreement.

Treatments have improved greatly over recent years so men have a better chance of PCa being eradicated or curtailed even if in some cases additional treatment has to be given in due course.

Do let us know how Dad gets on.

Barry
User
Posted 11 Apr 2016 at 05:34

hi colleen
hello from me also, we have some great folk on here lots with very info, another good place to call are the specialist nurses on this site, as already been said its a scary place to be, and waiting for tests and then the results seems a lifetime

good your dad has you in his corner, don't forget if you can go with dad to all his appointments take a note book and pen to write down what is said, when I 1st went had wife brother and daughter with me, ask for a copy of all clinical notes, even now 1yr later am still reading and understanding mine, have built up a file.

anyone on here will be happy to give info, read our avatars tells you about the journey we are on

just remember he is still DAD and love him

regards
nidge

run long and prosper

'pooh how do you spell love'

'piglet you dont spell love -you just feel it'

User
Posted 11 Apr 2016 at 19:07

Not happy times, the PCUK nurses are very good and you can call them or chat on line. I cannot speak for your Dad, but my father was diagnosed with PCa 18 years ago aged 69 and he is still alive, so don't give up hope.

User
Posted 11 Apr 2016 at 19:20
Thank you everyone. Very reassuring. I've updated my Bio on my fathers PCa and I shall keep all updated. Still can't believe I'm here, but glad I've joined for support.

Colleen.

User
Posted 03 May 2016 at 12:19
Well Dad had his MRI results this morning.... Best possible news, the Cancer is contained and he was given 2 options.... Radiotherapy or surgery. He's gonna go for the surgery. Dad didn't find out the T staging, but I'm guessing T2c? Will hopefully get a copy of notes through soon, so I can give more detail. So relieved right now! Hope all well with u all.
User
Posted 03 May 2016 at 18:47

Good to hear that news.
Henry

User
Posted 03 May 2016 at 22:22

Hi,

I'm so pleased that you've had the news that your father's cancer appears to be contained within the prostate.  It greatly improves his chances of successful treatment.

I hope everything goes well for him.

Keep in touch with us all here, we'll be pleased to hear of his progress.

Steve

Edited by member 03 May 2016 at 22:24  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 23 May 2016 at 10:22
Well today is surgery day!! Just about to drop my dad and mum to the hospital! Let's get rid of this PCa!! 🙏🏼
User
Posted 23 May 2016 at 15:07
Hope all goes well today
User
Posted 23 May 2016 at 15:12

Hope all goes well for your dad today Colleen.

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
User
Posted 23 May 2016 at 16:21
Hi Colleen

Hoping all goes well for Dad today. It will take time for him to get over the op so make sure he does as he is told like the rest of us guys always do !!

Kind regards,

Kevan

User
Posted 23 May 2016 at 20:09

Good luck - hope all went well.

User
Posted 23 May 2016 at 21:46

Hope for a very good outcome. Impress on Dad the need to take things easy as he will doubtless be advised. This is a major operation and should be treated accordingly.

Barry
User
Posted 23 May 2016 at 22:50
I've been to see him. He was feeling Groggy, as we expected, but it went ok as far as I know. He had robot assisted surgery. They didn't say much else as he got back on ward quite late. He was in pain, not the incisions, but gas like pain. He also said he felt desperate for a wee!! Must've been the catheter giving him the sensation of a full bladder. Got to spend 40 minutes with him before visiting times ended. Nurse was just giving him some pain relief as we left, so hopefully that will help him be more comfortable and he gets a restful night. Will keep u all updated. Thanks for all your advise and support.
User
Posted 24 May 2016 at 08:10

Great to hear it all went well with your Dad.

User
Posted 24 May 2016 at 16:30

We dad went down for surgery at 2.30 pm yesterday and at 2.30pm today, I was driving him in his driveway! He glad to be home, but in a lot of pain, more like gas pain from the Co2 they use during surgery. They are pleased with how the op went, they said his prostate was 4" long, so they had to make a bigger incision to remove it. The tumour was in both sides of the prostate, but they got it out with no complications. Now on the road to recovery, 2 weeks with catheter then will see what happens next. Will keep you informed on his journey.

User
Posted 24 May 2016 at 17:24

Wish him a speedy recovery from us.

It's not unusual to have the "trapped wind" feeling following surgery. You could ask the nurses on here for advice in what he can do to shift it, or I'm sure many of the men on here that have undergone the operation will be along to advise what helped them. Glad it is all over or him

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
User
Posted 08 Jun 2016 at 11:47
Update: dad had his catheter removed this morning, had his first couple of wees and all seem well! I've updated bio, here's a copy if anyone interested....... 😊

23/05/16. Surgery day... Dad had his prostate removed today, robot assisted. It went well. That's all I know right now, until I go visit him again tomorrow. Hopefully he has a restful night and can come home tomorrow.

24/03/16 Dad was discharged from hospital. He was still in a lot of pain, mainly from the gas used during surgery, left him with sharp pains in side and shoulders.

25/03/16 Dad went to A&E early hours of morning. Not only did his penis resemble a purple Jabba the Hutt, but his heart was pounding fast. Docs took bloods, ECG. Bloods showed possible infection, so they put him on ward for the night to observe.

26/03/16. Bloods seem OK, ECG ok, they said his heart was 170bpm, but probably just due to the trauma of all he'd been through. He had a slight temp, but was discharged with antibiotics as a precaution.

Uncomfortable 9 days after, with catheter, but got bit better each day.

8/06/16 hospital appointment to have catheter removed. Went great. Had 2 good pees in the 2and half hours he was there! No leaks so far and they scanned lower tummy and it looked absolutely fine!! He's very glad how it all went and is now sitting in his garden in sun feeling very thankful! And positive. Next appointment at hospital in July. Think this will be to discuss how it's all gone, prostate biopsy results and what happens next.

User
Posted 08 Jun 2016 at 14:19
C

Apart from the visit to the A&E department it all sounds a text book procedure so far. Just make sure Dad takes recovery at his own pace, no marathons but keep mobile.

Thanks Chris

User
Posted 08 Jun 2016 at 17:53
What brilliant news - so pleased for you all. Fingers crossed that all the follow up results are good but take it a step at a time.

All the best

Kevan

User
Posted 08 Jun 2016 at 22:50
Hi..

Yes... apart from the A&E incident it sounds good so far... hope the follow up stats are all good. As others have said... encourage your Dad to take it easy during recovery.

KRO...

User
Posted 20 Jul 2016 at 23:17
Hi all. Dad is continuing to do well. Since the catheter was removed he's only had the odd 'dribble', but getting less.

15/07/16. Appointment with surgeon. He was pleased with dads progress, PSA blood test result 0.01, so that's great. He said the cancer was on both sides of prostate, but all contained, so 'one of the lucky ones' were the surgeons exact words. He told Dad to go home and celebrate. We really do feel blessed. Thanks again for all your support, I shall continue to update and read through others journeys. Next PSA test in 6 months.

Wish you all well. Colleen X

User
Posted 21 Jul 2016 at 08:06

Thanks for the update Colleen.

It's always good when members follow through with information, it encourages others, especially the newly diagnosed.

Best Wishes

Sandra


********

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
 
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