And so it came to pass on this unfathomably unpredictable journey that my three monthly assessment following commencement of Enzalutamide was this morning at Guy's Hospital, London. Pre-commencement, my PSA had inexorably crept up to 7.8 so today, having had not much response to any drugs, I was expecting it to leap into double figures. I was pleasantly and uncharacteristically surprised. Not only had all my bloods returned to normal levels bar Testosterone which stubbornly sticks around the 1.3 mark, but the PSA had fallen, dramatically, to 1.6. Now I'd rather it be back in the fractions as it once was but at this stage of the game, seven years after diagnosis and almost six after surgery, I'll take a 1.6er any day. That's almost a 90% drop. I fully respect (albeit) hate this Demon riding roughshod in my body and know it is not a get out of jail free card, but today, at least, I blew the bloody doors off my cell and took a deep lungful of freedom's air outside the gates.
Life these days is measured in two monthly hospital visits allowing me time to focus on the next family gathering, short break holiday or half decent bottle of wine. Today, I twisted the Consultant's arm to allow me a three month stay of execution till the next appointment.
I'm not cured, I'll know that I'll never be cured, but my quest to make it to 60 feels a little bit more do'able while the PSA results, like the nodes keep shrinking and going in the right direction. Physically, bar the celibacy and gynocomastia, I have never felt better although psychologically, the Demon never fails to get into your mind when you least expect it, whether watching Eastenders, dropping the soap in the shower or reversing out the drive. A new dog in the family last year in the form of Milly has been a real tonic and focus. She's my brindle b**** and I love her (see Avatar).
Returning to today, I have at least a little positive news in an otherwise sea of unalloyed sh1t - it is but a hiatus but God let it be a long one. Even as an exponent of tit tape and an ever expanding waistline, I can live with these negatives if fate throws a few positives now and then. As I left the hospital today and walked out under the glare of The Shard, I should have leapt for joy. I didn't. Instead, I got out me iPad and searched under holidays. It's where real joy, for me, is found these days.
Peace, love and understanding.
Edited by member 26 Apr 2016 at 16:26
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