Chris,
As we've so often said our symptoms have been so very similar. As you know I too hit an emotional wipeout in February this year after 18 months on Zoladex. I just couldn't stop feeling low and was very tearful for a while. That was when I posted about hating HT. Fortunately it passed and I haven't felt so bad since then. There are the occasional ' dark times ' but in general I have felt far stronger emotionally since then and am living my life as before dx , subject to HT restrictions.
Sometimes we have to allow ourselves these moments , after all we have either been or are going through a lot since diagnosis. There is the initial shock of being advised you have PCa , then all the scans , biopsies and subsequent decisions some of us have to make regarding which treatment plan to take. It can all add up but the momentum of the situation keeps us going. Then everything stops and we are left to get on with life but still the monthly or three monthly implants continue !
But for those of you who haven't experienced the side effects of hormone treatment you possibly cannot understand how debilitating it can be. I have no idea at all what it's like to have had RP and what you go through emotionally with that . Of course not everyone suffers from hot flushes ( I know someone who doesn't ) or teariness (again I know another man who doesn't ) but I guess we all feel low generally sometimes and then there is the ED issue to contend with as well. We as men never expected to have these'menopausal moments ' so it is actually quite a shock when they start ( I recall having my first hot flush at work and swearing out loud to the amusement of my colleagues - the usual " now you know what we women have to cope with " was uttered and the men there just looked on in amazement ! Fortunately I had told them that this might happen and they were all excellent about it).
Chris, I know that both our wives are very supportive to us but it must be difficult for them too to see how we are sometimes. And I'm sure that all the others supporting their men in their lives must find it difficult too. As time goes on one would expect to feel better or used to HT , but from my own experience it is not always so. Personally I've adapted to the situation now and accepted it is how it is. But I must confess it was an enormous shock to me to have found how I was in February.
With the help of my wonderful wife, my sister in law and her husband, they managed to pull me through. It must have taken the patience of several saints to have achieved that.
I told my excellent GP what I was going through emotionally when I saw her about starting ED therapy at that time. She was interested in how I was coping and was pleased that I was sorting it out for myself. Otherwise she would have prescribed anti depressants for me , a route I was eager to avoid. With the help of my family and those of you on this site and of course you Chris, ( thanks for your magnificent help !) I'm really proud that I've come through this without the aid of medication.
You always know that I'm here for you at anytime and indeed we PM each other time to time. But it's good that you've posted like this and it's great to have seen the replies already flooding in. I will contact PCUK as we discussed, to see if they can add something that their website. It's just so strange that we both has ' the meltdown' after 18 months !
As ever your virtual mate ,
John ( clue 'n' ) - sorry everyone , Chris is trying to work out my surname and I'm dropping letters here and there to help him in this our game of ' virtual hangman'.