Hello Dave and Mrs Dave and welcome to the site.
I hope somebody else will come along with their knowledge and advice but just wanted to welcome you.
Chris/Woody has offered very good advice about the Toolkit and the notebook and pen. If you get the toolkit in good time it will help as it will likely raise questions for you to ask, perhaps things you wouldn't have thought of beforehand.
Don't worry about appearing odd, lots of us do it and medical staff don't bat an eyelid. You will kick yourselves on the way home if you haven't asked relevant questions or made a note of the answers. Two pairs of ears are better than one as what one misses the other may pick up.
Being diagnosed with cancer, any cancer, can be terrifying because, like most cancers, it's a fear of the unknown.
Once decisions are made you may find that you cope better since a course is set.
The speed of your diagnosis is to be commended and you should be "grateful" for that.
If you decide on surgery, check the success rate of your surgeon. You want somebody really experienced !
The times ahead will be challenging for both you and your wife, but together you WILL get through it.
In the meantime, best wishes. Be patient with each other and remember to talk. Don't bottle up how you feel because talking does help.
Anything you want to know, come and ask. Somebody is bound to know the answer. Best not to Google. No subject it too personal or taboo. We are all in this together and although our experiences may differ because we chose different paths, we do all understand and appreciate how you both feel now.
Weekends tend to be quiet times on the site but I'm sure that others will be along at some stage.
Best Wishes
Sandra
PS. If you want more information (you might see from somebody's post that they had RP or whatever, then click on the name under their picture and you can read their profile)