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My dad has just been diagnosed with prostate cancer

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User
Posted 03 Jul 2016 at 15:29
Hi there - this is my first post to the forum although I have reading the site quite a lot in recent weeks .

I am on only child and am very close to my parents especially my dad. He had just been diagnosed with prostate cancer and I am absolutely devastated . His biopsy in mid May confirmed prostate cancer and he had further MRI and bone scans and our appointment with consultant last week confirmed my worst fears that it was spread behind prostate including to the bones . He has started on hormone therapy around the time of the biopsy results in advance of the other scans as this is what consultant recommended . We have an oncology appointment this week and there seemed to be talk of using chemo in conjunction with hormone therapy and possible mention of a clinical trial but will see what happens on the latter . We had a further blood test at the results appointment last week and hoping to see some reduction in the psa level I believe following start of hormone treatment. Not surprisingly my dad has been quite quiet and withdrawn since although he is putting a brave face on matters . I am still finding it hard to process and am experiencing feelings form

Extreme fear and upset and to a lessening degree anger - although appreciate this negative emotion will not help anyone and I need to be strong for dad . On the latter , my dad is the youngest of three brothers and his middle brother had prostate cancer last year but did not think to mention to this brothers to get tested - even though under same consultant as dad has ended up under and he clearly prompts and asks about male relatives and indicated that any brothers and sons should be tested . Anyway not helpful reflect on that at this stage . Can I also ask whether people have changed their diets with a diagnosis of advanced prostate cancer to include more of the foods recognised as generally healthier and not feeding the cancer further with fatty unhealthy foods . Sorry for the long and not very focused post - just needed to share the context . From a very worried and loving daughter . Thank you .

User
Posted 02 Aug 2016 at 23:39

Hi Daisy, 

I hope you don't mind me replying to your post - I don't check in often now, but your first message struck a link for me and I just wanted to say that I'm so so sorry to hear about your Dad, I know first hand how difficult this is for you and your Family at this time (as do all members on here)

I know how it feels to be a daughter, and your Dad to be your best friend, to find out they have cancer and it be advanced is terrifying and overwhelming all at the same time -  but you really have come to  (in my opinion) the best place.

There are amazing people here that will always be here to help and guide you, honestly they are totally brilliant, 24/7, I found this site to be my 'get out of jail card' Here I could say what I needed and the advice I gained in return to help myself, my Mum, My Family & most importantly my Dad was brilliant. When I felt scared or alone (although I have a big loving family around me) this is where I found myself late at night.

Never be afraid for sharing how you feel, as you will get support and that is so so important.

The Doctors and Macmillan staff really are amazing, and the treatments available will really help your Dad. I know it won't be an easy journey but I wish you, your family and most importantly your Dad a pain free, long road head and it really can be a long long Road ahead :) 

Cat x

 

 

User
Posted 03 Jul 2016 at 22:19
Hi Daisy,

I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. My Dad was diagnosed 3 weeks ago and so has bone spread to his spine and pelvis. We are awaiting a nuclear scan next week to check for anymore spread.

I know exactly how you are feeling at the moment as we still have a certain level of uncertainty. Hormone treatment has started for my Dad as has radiotherapy to his spine but we won't see an oncologist until the week after next.

It is difficult not to get angry/frustrated about this is at this stage because however fast things move it doesn't seem fast enough.

I have read up on a few things regarding diet, apparently tomatoes and brazil nuts are good! I intend to do some more research on this but my Dad already eats pretty healthily anyway - another reason why this diagnosis seems so unfair.

Anyhow, please remember you are not alone and I've found the one other users on this site SO helpful and informative so use this resource as much as you need to, like I do (hence this reply at 10.30pm on a school night!)

I wish you and your Dad all the best of luck.

GW

User
Posted 04 Jul 2016 at 00:15

You might both be interested in 'The Prostate Care Cookbook' produced by Prostate Cancer Research UK which is sold via Amazon - it explains what a prostae healthy diet would be for boys and young men, but also includes some dietary info (and great recipes) for men with advanced PCa.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Healthy-Eating-published-association-Foundation/dp/1856268691

Some men believe very strongly in the Plant diet - Jane Plant was a scientist who believed you could control prostate and breast cancer by cutting out all red meat and dairy foods, and eating specific other things. We are not all convinced that it will actually slow the cancer down but some of her theories have been supported by the PCR UK research - hence the cook book.

As Gabriella says, loads of cooked or processed tomatoes, but also plenty of garlic, onions, oily fish, broccoli, pomegranate and soya products.... less or no processed meats, no dairy and limited eggs.

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 18 Jul 2016 at 12:32

Hi Daisy (and Gabriella too!)

I, too, am in the same position as you both. My dad was diagnosed last week. Apart from his Gleason score (5+4) all I know is that he's having a radical prostatectomy. All the rest has passed in a bit of a blur., I'm afraid, as I suspect it did when you were first told. he's having MRI and CT scans to determine whether its localised or not.

He's so very positive, but its the immediate family that are a mess http://community.prostatecanceruk.org/editors/tiny_mce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-embarassed.gif It's difficult to remain positive though but the people on this site are fabulous and so very supportive. They've really helped me out, so we're all here to help each other.

Look after yourselves

Janey x

 

 

User
Posted 18 Jul 2016 at 18:02

Hello Daisy and welcome to the site.

Many members follow a change of diet. Does it help? Does it matter?

It's not going to hinder and may make you all feel proactive.

You are very close to your dad. We have had a number of girls /young women over the last few months who have joined because Dad has been diagnosed and it's brilliant that you all care enough to research for them.

I can understand your negative feelings towards your uncle, but really that is with hindsight. Yes, he should have made the suggestion to your dad, but maybe he was so taken aback by his own diagnosis that he didn't take in what the consultant was suggesting or perhaps it went right out of his head once he had to think in terms of his own treatment. Whatever the reason, it doesn't help you now, so concentrate on supporting your dad in the best way you can.

We are here to help. Every single one of us is either a PC patient or a partner, so we do understand the fear and distress that a diagnosis produces.

Anything you want to ask, please feel free

Best Wishes

Sandra

********

Edited by member 18 Jul 2016 at 18:04  | Reason: Not specified

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
User
Posted 06 Aug 2016 at 10:52

Sorry to hear about your dad and welcome to the club that nobody wants to be a member of, I was diagnosed on 21st July worst day of my life, afterwards I was really down and feeling sorry for myself and then I found this site it has really helped, the doctor that told me my biopsi results said if he took 10 men from the street of my age 65 they would have the same results as me, and judging by the amount of new people to this site he must be right, that is pretty scary, the most important thing I got from this site is try to be positive as hard as it may be, negative thoughts make things a whole lot worse, as for food I found an article from the Daily Mail about walnuts don't know if they work but I am now like a squirrel it just makes you feel you are doing something, I do not think giving up all the things that you enjoy is much good it just makes you miserable, just do it in moderation, I had my bone scan on Tuesday and have a meeting with medical oncologist next Tuesday it is all waiting,
best wishes to all on here,

Paul

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User
Posted 03 Jul 2016 at 22:19
Hi Daisy,

I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. My Dad was diagnosed 3 weeks ago and so has bone spread to his spine and pelvis. We are awaiting a nuclear scan next week to check for anymore spread.

I know exactly how you are feeling at the moment as we still have a certain level of uncertainty. Hormone treatment has started for my Dad as has radiotherapy to his spine but we won't see an oncologist until the week after next.

It is difficult not to get angry/frustrated about this is at this stage because however fast things move it doesn't seem fast enough.

I have read up on a few things regarding diet, apparently tomatoes and brazil nuts are good! I intend to do some more research on this but my Dad already eats pretty healthily anyway - another reason why this diagnosis seems so unfair.

Anyhow, please remember you are not alone and I've found the one other users on this site SO helpful and informative so use this resource as much as you need to, like I do (hence this reply at 10.30pm on a school night!)

I wish you and your Dad all the best of luck.

GW

User
Posted 03 Jul 2016 at 22:36
Hi Gabriella

Thank you very much for your kind and helpful reply. I had heard this site was great and it is brilliant to realise you are not alone in going through this worrying times.

I hope you get positive news for your dad's nuclear scan . Thanks again for your reply and wishing you and your family all the very best .

User
Posted 04 Jul 2016 at 00:15

You might both be interested in 'The Prostate Care Cookbook' produced by Prostate Cancer Research UK which is sold via Amazon - it explains what a prostae healthy diet would be for boys and young men, but also includes some dietary info (and great recipes) for men with advanced PCa.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Healthy-Eating-published-association-Foundation/dp/1856268691

Some men believe very strongly in the Plant diet - Jane Plant was a scientist who believed you could control prostate and breast cancer by cutting out all red meat and dairy foods, and eating specific other things. We are not all convinced that it will actually slow the cancer down but some of her theories have been supported by the PCR UK research - hence the cook book.

As Gabriella says, loads of cooked or processed tomatoes, but also plenty of garlic, onions, oily fish, broccoli, pomegranate and soya products.... less or no processed meats, no dairy and limited eggs.

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 04 Jul 2016 at 00:30
Thank you Lyn- I will be ordering this book tomorrow . All information gratefully received . Thank you very much indeed.
User
Posted 18 Jul 2016 at 12:32

Hi Daisy (and Gabriella too!)

I, too, am in the same position as you both. My dad was diagnosed last week. Apart from his Gleason score (5+4) all I know is that he's having a radical prostatectomy. All the rest has passed in a bit of a blur., I'm afraid, as I suspect it did when you were first told. he's having MRI and CT scans to determine whether its localised or not.

He's so very positive, but its the immediate family that are a mess http://community.prostatecanceruk.org/editors/tiny_mce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-embarassed.gif It's difficult to remain positive though but the people on this site are fabulous and so very supportive. They've really helped me out, so we're all here to help each other.

Look after yourselves

Janey x

 

 

User
Posted 18 Jul 2016 at 18:02

Hello Daisy and welcome to the site.

Many members follow a change of diet. Does it help? Does it matter?

It's not going to hinder and may make you all feel proactive.

You are very close to your dad. We have had a number of girls /young women over the last few months who have joined because Dad has been diagnosed and it's brilliant that you all care enough to research for them.

I can understand your negative feelings towards your uncle, but really that is with hindsight. Yes, he should have made the suggestion to your dad, but maybe he was so taken aback by his own diagnosis that he didn't take in what the consultant was suggesting or perhaps it went right out of his head once he had to think in terms of his own treatment. Whatever the reason, it doesn't help you now, so concentrate on supporting your dad in the best way you can.

We are here to help. Every single one of us is either a PC patient or a partner, so we do understand the fear and distress that a diagnosis produces.

Anything you want to ask, please feel free

Best Wishes

Sandra

********

Edited by member 18 Jul 2016 at 18:04  | Reason: Not specified

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
User
Posted 02 Aug 2016 at 23:39

Hi Daisy, 

I hope you don't mind me replying to your post - I don't check in often now, but your first message struck a link for me and I just wanted to say that I'm so so sorry to hear about your Dad, I know first hand how difficult this is for you and your Family at this time (as do all members on here)

I know how it feels to be a daughter, and your Dad to be your best friend, to find out they have cancer and it be advanced is terrifying and overwhelming all at the same time -  but you really have come to  (in my opinion) the best place.

There are amazing people here that will always be here to help and guide you, honestly they are totally brilliant, 24/7, I found this site to be my 'get out of jail card' Here I could say what I needed and the advice I gained in return to help myself, my Mum, My Family & most importantly my Dad was brilliant. When I felt scared or alone (although I have a big loving family around me) this is where I found myself late at night.

Never be afraid for sharing how you feel, as you will get support and that is so so important.

The Doctors and Macmillan staff really are amazing, and the treatments available will really help your Dad. I know it won't be an easy journey but I wish you, your family and most importantly your Dad a pain free, long road head and it really can be a long long Road ahead :) 

Cat x

 

 

User
Posted 06 Aug 2016 at 10:52

Sorry to hear about your dad and welcome to the club that nobody wants to be a member of, I was diagnosed on 21st July worst day of my life, afterwards I was really down and feeling sorry for myself and then I found this site it has really helped, the doctor that told me my biopsi results said if he took 10 men from the street of my age 65 they would have the same results as me, and judging by the amount of new people to this site he must be right, that is pretty scary, the most important thing I got from this site is try to be positive as hard as it may be, negative thoughts make things a whole lot worse, as for food I found an article from the Daily Mail about walnuts don't know if they work but I am now like a squirrel it just makes you feel you are doing something, I do not think giving up all the things that you enjoy is much good it just makes you miserable, just do it in moderation, I had my bone scan on Tuesday and have a meeting with medical oncologist next Tuesday it is all waiting,
best wishes to all on here,

Paul

User
Posted 29 Sep 2016 at 16:03

Thank you all for your kind and helpful replies. Apologies - I have not been on the site for quite a long time or only accessed it quickly on my phone for general information. I hope everyone is doing okay considering the various battles being faced. We attended oncologist appointment in July and that gave us some hope in terms of trying to manage symptoms. As I said before, my dad had already started hormone treatment and then he started a course of radiotherapy to the pelvis. We have recently received the results of his PSA blood tests and the PSA level has come down significantly from where it was. That said, my dad has had quite a lot of pain recently particularly in his back etc. I am not having much luck with convincing him on any diet changes- not that his diet was ever particularly bad- however he is now eating more rubbish (in my mind) than he would have done before but still has good home cooked meals etc. I guess maybe the various treatment and meds are sending his taste buds in strange directions. He seems to be drinking a lot of Lucozade too which I have never known him to drink- I keep telling him he'll end up with Diabetes on top of the rest. Obviously not wishing to nag him too much so i have tried to not "nag" about diet too much for now as know he is going through a very difficult time. 

 
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