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Supporting Dad

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User
Posted 16 Jul 2016 at 12:52

Good afternoon all

My dearest dad has just been diagnosed with PC and this is the first time that something like this has happened to a close family member.

We are all very close, but would like some tips and help on how best to support him during this. He has elected to have a radical prostatectomy.

Can anyone help at all? Many thanks in advance

Janey

 

 

 

 

User
Posted 16 Jul 2016 at 13:36

Hi Janey
Please phone the specialist nurses on this website. Explain the situation. There are fantastic free publications that they will send to you , covering all aspects for your dad , and for you all as a family supporting him too. And ask any questions on here. Loads of people been through this including me. Good luck x

User
Posted 16 Jul 2016 at 13:39

Thanks Chris,

That's a great help - thank you very much.

All the very best to you

Janey xx

 

User
Posted 16 Jul 2016 at 16:24

Hello Janey and welcome.

As Chris says, get the Toolkit through publications or through the onsite nurses. Very helpful and full of information.

You say your dad has elected to go for Radical Prostatectomy and there are many on here who have had the same. Do you know whether it is open surgery, or robotic?
It's just that we have members who have had both (not the same member obviously!) and they will have relevant info for your dad's choice.

We do all understand exactly how you are all feeling because we have all trodden the same path,even if we veered off into different treatments. That initial diagnosis is frightening isn't it.

Do you know any of your dad's scores - his PSA or his Gleason scope for instance?

In the meantime, don't panic. Ask away any questions you/he might have. Somebody is bound to know the answer.

Best Wishes
Sandra

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
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User
Posted 16 Jul 2016 at 13:36

Hi Janey
Please phone the specialist nurses on this website. Explain the situation. There are fantastic free publications that they will send to you , covering all aspects for your dad , and for you all as a family supporting him too. And ask any questions on here. Loads of people been through this including me. Good luck x

User
Posted 16 Jul 2016 at 13:39

Thanks Chris,

That's a great help - thank you very much.

All the very best to you

Janey xx

 

User
Posted 16 Jul 2016 at 16:24

Hello Janey and welcome.

As Chris says, get the Toolkit through publications or through the onsite nurses. Very helpful and full of information.

You say your dad has elected to go for Radical Prostatectomy and there are many on here who have had the same. Do you know whether it is open surgery, or robotic?
It's just that we have members who have had both (not the same member obviously!) and they will have relevant info for your dad's choice.

We do all understand exactly how you are all feeling because we have all trodden the same path,even if we veered off into different treatments. That initial diagnosis is frightening isn't it.

Do you know any of your dad's scores - his PSA or his Gleason scope for instance?

In the meantime, don't panic. Ask away any questions you/he might have. Somebody is bound to know the answer.

Best Wishes
Sandra

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
User
Posted 16 Jul 2016 at 16:31

Hello Sandra,

Thanks so much for your reply - I must say that Dad is handling it a lot calmer than the rest of the family are (especially me!) 

It will be robotic, apparently. He did tell me both his PSA and his Gleason scores but it's gone completely from my mind.

You've hit the nail on the head - its as scary as hell. We are a very close family and there is no doubt that we will all stick together at this time.

His op is in September - dad wanted to cancel his holiday, but the consultant told him to enjoy his time away. :)

I will certainly get his scores and come back on!

 

Thanks for keeping me sane and have a lovely evening

Janey xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

User
Posted 16 Jul 2016 at 16:39

Hello again

I've remembered that his Gleason is 4+5

Janey

 

User
Posted 16 Jul 2016 at 18:30

Based on your age, I am really surprised that dad is going for surgery. Was he offered any alternatives, and have the side effects been fully explained to him? The risk of incontinence is much higher for older men.

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 18 Jul 2016 at 07:42

Morning Lyn

Dad is 75 now and yes, everything was explained to him fully. He's the type of man that needs to know the ins and outs of everything before its done so I have no doubt that he has made an informed decision.

Thank you so much for your concerns though - they're much appreciated.

Janey x

 

 

 

User
Posted 18 Jul 2016 at 08:12

Ah, he is younger than I had estimated - I was guessing that he might be 80 or more. I don't think 75 is that old these days :-)

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 18 Jul 2016 at 13:41

I don't think it's old either!!!!

Dad behaves like a young man and his outlook is very positive!

Thanks for all your help!

Janey x

 

User
Posted 18 Jul 2016 at 15:07
Hi Janet

I am not as old as your Dad but not that that far adrift. I had a RALP last year and I have to confess that the greatest help to me was everyone letting me be me and letting me deal with things on my own terms. My OH was there for me if I needed some support as were friends and neighbours but being allowed the freedom to just be me and get on with things was the thing I was most grateful for. They all just laugh at me anyway particularly if they think I am having a strop.

All the best to you all.

Kind regards

Kevan

User
Posted 18 Jul 2016 at 15:19

Kevan,

That is so helpful - thank you.

Dad is a very independent man and very rarely asks for help, but knows we are there if ever he needs anything or support.

He sounds very like you!

Best wishes to you

Janey x

 

 

 

User
Posted 01 Aug 2016 at 10:58

Good morning all

Just an update - dad has had his bone scan and blood tests and the scan was clear.

He's now waiting on his MRI scan and blood results to see whether it has spread further than the prostate.

I spent some time alone with Mum at the weekend and I have never seen her so low - she's the strongest, ballsiest (excuse the pun) woman I have ever known and she is an inspiration, but she broke down when talking about dad.

Dad is still dad - stoical and strong so we are all thankful for that.

More to come ..........

 
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