As spike milligan once said "What am I going to do now?"

User

Posted 30 Jul 2016 at 22:09

Hi all,

Just wanted to introduce myself,... my name is Sandy and my husband has prostate cancer, he had surgery (RP) and also Radiotherapy. I would like to ask an intimate question. My husband still has feelings, but unfortunately, all nerves were taken out, so no erection possible. I feel inadequate to now please him, any suggestions would be most appreciated! Thank you. Sandy x

User

Posted 31 Jul 2016 at 09:15

You have not said how long it has been since the RP and RT or what if any treatment/therapy your OH has been having for ED an indication of your age may help others to give advice. Do not feel inadequate the fact that you want to help him gives the pair of you a good foundation for success. It might be worth reading the "erecting the erection" conversation that covers a multitude of solutions. Just put the word erecting into the search box near the top of the page.

Thanks Chris

User

Posted 31 Jul 2016 at 09:55

Hi Sandy

I am presuming you are about 50 with your name on this site. The first thing I noted is your comment about feeling inadequate to now please him. This has had an impact on both of you. I am sure your OH will have the same feelings as you.about pleasing you

Having non nerve sparing surgery does mean the chances of him getting a natural erection are very slim. He needs to be referred to the ED nurse/clinic. There is support out there to help you both in terms of medication and 'mechanical eg vacuum pump. What I found is the lack of any emotional support.

Equally there are other ways of having a meaningful sexual relationship, you just have to be creative. Having said that I am not playing down the impact this will have had on you both.

As Chris says if you type erection or erectile dysfunction into the search box you will see lots of posts on this subject

Bri

Edited by member 31 Jul 2016 at 09:56 | Reason: Not specified

User

Posted 31 Jul 2016 at 11:47

Hi Sandy
Bless you. He will be worried too about not pleasing you. Talking is probably THE best tonic. And there is loads you can try and actually have some fun and laughs in the process. Pills , pumps , rings , injections. It IS still possible to achieve penetration of a sort. And a pumped penis with a restriction ring would allow you to help him reach climax however you choose. I've found a product called Tenga egg very very useful. They sell them on the Lovehoney website.
I'm 14 months post op double nerve spare 49 years old and still have zero natural function. I have days where I'm so down about it , but then days where we have time and peace and quiet , and everything turns out ok. Keep posting or PM people if you are too shy.

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