Dad Starts Chemo Today :(

Hello Everyone,

I have been reading through the posts and am really touched by the understanding, kindness and warmth of this community.

A quick case history - My 73-year old father was diagnosed with PC 5 years ago. It had already spread to his bones by time of diagnosis and thus he was placed on hormone treatments which have worked very well. Occasionally he was switched from one medication to another and his PSA had been kept under control. Over the last 12-18 months he has been taking Enzalutamide and, again, his PSA scores until recently have been low and steady. During a recent check-up with the oncologist he was advised that as the PSA scores had risen over consecutive months he would need to have a bone scan and MRI. Unfortunately, the tests revealed that the cancer has spread further – to his hip, adrenal glands, arm-bone and liver. Further to this, he was instructed to immediately stop the Enzalutamide and instead he would begin 10 rounds of Chemotherapy with Docetaxel and a steroid, whose name I cannot remember.

Today (at 2pm) he is going for his first session of chemo and I am literally filled with fear for him, for whether he can cope with the sickness and weakness and whether, ultimately, our family need to accept that he maybe doesn’t have long left. When asked this question by dad, his Doctor apparently said he had up to 2-years of life left. How true that is remains to be seen and unfortunately none of us have ever asked for, or know, his Gleason score etc. Perhaps it doesn’t really matter anyway at this stage.

My dad is already fairly frail but, like the old soldier he is, he is trying to put a brave face on it and take it a day at a time. My mum, who is disabled, doesn’t really seem to be processing it well and when I’m at their house, the whole situation doesn’t get talked about which, if I’m honest, unsettles and angers me. Surely we all need to be talking about this, so that we may process what is happening, about what it means for dad and his family? When I spoke to my dad alone, he said that whenever he tries to talk about his cancer, my mum changes the subject. So, he doesn’t bother anymore.

I am frightened about what is coming, and about whether I can help enough to support mum and dad. I want to be the best son I can be in this situation, but I also work full time, have three children and my wife suffers from severe (sometimes suicidal) depression. She is not feeling great at the moment, under the mental health team again, and so with that going on and my dad's situ, I am sat at my desk in the office this morning feeling almost overwhelmed by it all. Just wish I could close my eyes and it all be okay, it all be gone away.

Anyway, that’s my intro. I hope you are all okay out there, loved and smiling.

Summer Rain x

Edited by member 15 Sep 2016 at 11:01  | Reason: Not specified