A quick case history - My 73-year old father was diagnosed with PC 5 years ago. It had already spread to his bones by time of diagnosis and thus he was placed on hormone treatments which have worked very well. Occasionally he was switched from one medication to another and his PSA had been kept under control. Over the last 12-18 months he has been taking Enzalutamide and, again, his PSA scores until recently have been low and steady. During a recent check-up with the oncologist he was advised that as the PSA scores had risen over consecutive months he would need to have a bone scan and MRI. Unfortunately, the tests revealed that the cancer has spread further – to his hip, adrenal glands, arm-bone and liver. Further to this, he was instructed to immediately stop the Enzalutamide and instead he would begin 10 rounds of Chemotherapy with Docetaxel and a steroid, whose name I cannot remember.
Today is going for his first session of chemo and I am literally filled with fear for him, for whether he can cope with the sickness and weakness and whether, ultimately, our family need to accept that he maybe doesn’t have long left. When asked this question by dad, his Doctor apparently said he had up to 2-years of life left. How true that is remains to be seen and unfortunately none of us have ever asked for, or know, his Gleason score etc. Perhaps it doesn’t really matter anyway at this stage.
My dad is already fairly frail but, like the old soldier he is, he is trying to put a brave face on it and take it a day at a time. My mum, who is disabled, doesn’t really seem to be processing it well and when I’m at their house, the whole situation doesn’t get talked about which, if I’m honest, unsettles and angers me. Surely we all need to be talking about this, so that we may process what is happening, about what it means for dad and his family? When I spoke to my dad alone, he said that whenever he tries to talk about his cancer, my mum changes the subject. So, he doesn’t bother anymore.
I am frightened about what is coming, and about whether I can help enough to support mum and dad. I want to be the best son I can be in this situation, but I also work full time, have three children and my wife suffers from severe (sometimes suicidal) depression. She is not feeling great at the moment, under the mental health team again, and so with that going on and my dad's situ, I am sat at my desk in the office this morning feeling almost overwhelmed by it all. Just wish I could close my eyes and it all be okay, it all be gone away.
Summer Rain x
Edited by member 15 Sep 2016 at 16:05
| Reason: Not specified
----------- “If there is meaning in life at all, then there must be meaning in suffering.” ― Viktor E. Frankl ----------- |
User
Hello friend
I was really touched by your post and your honesty. It's good that you got some of that off your chest. I think it's lovely that as a man you are so supportive and loving of your family. It's a credit to you. I suffer with bipolar so sympathise with your extra load at home on top of everything else. I also have locally advanced prostate cancer at 49 , and it's likely to be advanced I'm told
Some of the clever people may be along to help you with your dads prognosis. I hope you can find the strength and please keep posting.
PS A lovely friend on here once told me that " sometimes those that are dealt a bad hand , have hands large enough to deal with it ".
Take care
Chris
User
Hello Summer,
I really feel for you in the situation you are in.
You said about family. Do you have any brothers or sisters who could support you if you approach your father alone and ask for information?
Sometimes wives and partners find it easier to deal with a situation if they ignore it. Your mum must be full of fear of the future, ie what will happen to her with her disablement, if her husband is no longer there to help her.
Your anger is understandable, but it will wear you out pretty quickly. Do YOU have any support in your own situation, coping with 3 young children and a wife with severe depression.
Would it help if you approached your GP and asked for counselling?
You can also ring the nurses on this site who are apparently very supportive.
I wish I could be more help but at least you have found us now.
****
We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails |
User
hi
have you spoken with anyone at work, seems to me you could do with some time off, I think you are already being a great son
regards
nidge
run long and prosper
'pooh how do you spell love' 'piglet you dont spell love -you just feel it' |