Hi Cat,
There are a couple of scenarios you might consider:
Firstly most men, on diagnosis have to go through a soul searching process and ask themselves whether they should tell their loved ones all the detail of their diagnosis and treatment? There is a tendency to try and keep things secret, any diagnosis of cancer comes with a realisation that we are not immortal, and most of us want to spend the rest of our lives doing things we love, with the ones we love, without the spectre of cancer hanging over everything. The other side of the argument is that most women have vivid imaginations and if you try and spare them the detail they only imagine something worse.
But every man has to decide for himself, how much he wants to tell his children, and you should respect his choice.
Alternatively, if you dad was offered key hole surgery for a prostate removal, that suggests his cancer isn't the most aggressive and hasn't spread. There has been a lot of news recently suggesting that historically far too many men have had their prostates removed unnecessarily, the 10 year survival statistics for men who opt for doing nothing known as 'watchful waiting' are equally good as those who have more radical treatment. If I was in your dad's shoes I might want to wait a few months and see what was happening to my PSA, the absolute number of your PSA is not a very good indicator, what he really wants to know is the rate at which it is increasing.
So perhaps keyhole surgery is one option he has been given, and perhaps his Consultants have also offered him the option of doing nothing, if they have it's not a cop out, it's not them trying to save themselves work or money, it's them putting your father's interests, his life expectancy and quality of life first.
:)
Dave