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Need Help For My Father

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User
Posted 15 Dec 2016 at 16:23

Hi Everyone,

 

Please bear with me, my names Rob, I am new to this site and forum like many, and have just been delivered a bombshell like many, and need some help, guidance and support if possible.

 

I attended the hospital with my father and mother on 13/12/16 for an initial biopsy for my father after his PSA came back very high in a blood test. We were hoping for the best but unfortunately, we received the news that we did not need to wait for the biopsy results to know that my dad has prostate cancer. He is 78, good health otherwise (Angina under control, HPP under control, slightly raised sugar). The nurse told us that he has had this for a while, he admits that he has had symptoms in hindsight for 6 months or more, but he is of an age where he is uneducated in health matters and a strong character and like many I would imagine didn’t think it was anything to worry about. His PSA came back 1300, the team have requested an urgent CT too make sure it hasn’t spread and we are to return for biopsy results on the 30/12/16 (Happy New Year!) and we are awaiting (desperately the CT appointment). My father seems well enough, he’s lost a bit weight, but has been skipping eating junk food etc. due to slightly raised sugar, but is complaining of moderate pain in his chest and shoulder areas (which I am praying is tension and stress related at the diagnosis as they arose around the same time!?).

I am hoping that with the wealth of experience and people facing a similar situation they could maybe help me with where to start trying to help my father fight this, lie everyone I love the bones of him, he has been a rock and supportive my entire life and owe him everything, and it’s now his sons turn to go into battle for him. I know its vast question .... but can someone please help with some advice and guidance.

Thankyou in advance for any help, advice, guidance and support, I know you will know how desperate I am and how grateful I am for any help.

 

Rob.

User
Posted 16 Dec 2016 at 12:21

Hi Rob.    I was in a similar position to you in June.  Only thing was my dad didn't tell his daughters anything until he had the full diagnosis - which was advanced prostate cancer, spread to bones, PSA of 400.    He had been looking ill for a while but refused to go to GP until my mum nagged him into it.  The day after he told us his diagnosis he looked at though he was at death's door - I joined this forum but really thought he had only weeks to live - he had lost 4 stone in weight and had a yellow tinge to his skin.

He was put on immediate hormone therapy but no chemotherapy.  I don't know if the no chemotherapy was his choice or a clinical decision based on other factors (diabetes, mild heart problems) - he doesn't tell his daughters everything!   He was too ill to attend my son's wedding in September.

Fast forward to now and you wouldn't believe the change in him.   The hormone therapy alone has brought his PSA down to 1.  He looks so well - positively chipper (which he never was before diagnosis!), and he's put on nearly two stone in weight.   I'm now cautiously optimistic that he'll be around for a long while yet, especially when you read about others on this forum who started off far worse than my dad.

It's easy for everyone to tell you not to worry but I know EXACTLY how you are feeling - it's a nightmare and no amount of reassurance will make you feel any better.  But it will get better, I promise you, especially when you know what you are dealing with.

This time of year makes things worse as well as you will see everyone else seeming to be getting on with their lives without a care in the world while you feel as though you have the weight of the world on your shoulders.

User
Posted 15 Dec 2016 at 17:38

Hello Rob and welcome.

Yes we do know and understand how desperate you are. As you say there is a wealth of knowledge (not to say caring attitudes too) on this site.

I don't have the knowledge you need but I'm sure that somebody will help you.

You could look at the Toolkit in the publications section which might help and give you ideas but you really need up close and personal information from others in your dad's situation so hang in there until they come along.

Try not to worry too much (easier said than done - I know). You need your strength to help your mum and dad so try not to waste it on the what ifs and maybees.

Best Wishes

Sandra

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
User
Posted 15 Dec 2016 at 18:34

Hi Rob, have they started him on hormone treatment immediately or did they say to wait until after the scan?
Good suggestion from Johsan to order the toolkit and start reading, particularly the sections on hormone treatments, he is unlikely to be a good candidate for surgery or long-course radiotherapy but there has been some recent research to suggest that chemo given soon after diagnosis can make the hormone treatment more effective. Not all men are suitable for all treatments so it will be hard for you to have any firm plans in your head until all the results are back.

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 16 Dec 2016 at 11:31

Hi Rob

Pretty much as Andrew outlines. You can delve into publications or decide the better use of your time is supporting your father and family until the treatment plan is outlined. Quite a few members have had over the 1000 mark but then seen a drop to low double figures within a few months.

Ray

User
Posted 16 Dec 2016 at 12:39

Good reading for you here Rob.

Scabbycat , your input is very encouraging to others. Thank you for sharing

Edited by member 17 Dec 2016 at 15:19  | Reason: Not specified

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
Show Most Thanked Posts
User
Posted 15 Dec 2016 at 17:38

Hello Rob and welcome.

Yes we do know and understand how desperate you are. As you say there is a wealth of knowledge (not to say caring attitudes too) on this site.

I don't have the knowledge you need but I'm sure that somebody will help you.

You could look at the Toolkit in the publications section which might help and give you ideas but you really need up close and personal information from others in your dad's situation so hang in there until they come along.

Try not to worry too much (easier said than done - I know). You need your strength to help your mum and dad so try not to waste it on the what ifs and maybees.

Best Wishes

Sandra

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
User
Posted 15 Dec 2016 at 18:34

Hi Rob, have they started him on hormone treatment immediately or did they say to wait until after the scan?
Good suggestion from Johsan to order the toolkit and start reading, particularly the sections on hormone treatments, he is unlikely to be a good candidate for surgery or long-course radiotherapy but there has been some recent research to suggest that chemo given soon after diagnosis can make the hormone treatment more effective. Not all men are suitable for all treatments so it will be hard for you to have any firm plans in your head until all the results are back.

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 16 Dec 2016 at 11:31

Hi Rob

Pretty much as Andrew outlines. You can delve into publications or decide the better use of your time is supporting your father and family until the treatment plan is outlined. Quite a few members have had over the 1000 mark but then seen a drop to low double figures within a few months.

Ray

User
Posted 16 Dec 2016 at 12:21

Hi Rob.    I was in a similar position to you in June.  Only thing was my dad didn't tell his daughters anything until he had the full diagnosis - which was advanced prostate cancer, spread to bones, PSA of 400.    He had been looking ill for a while but refused to go to GP until my mum nagged him into it.  The day after he told us his diagnosis he looked at though he was at death's door - I joined this forum but really thought he had only weeks to live - he had lost 4 stone in weight and had a yellow tinge to his skin.

He was put on immediate hormone therapy but no chemotherapy.  I don't know if the no chemotherapy was his choice or a clinical decision based on other factors (diabetes, mild heart problems) - he doesn't tell his daughters everything!   He was too ill to attend my son's wedding in September.

Fast forward to now and you wouldn't believe the change in him.   The hormone therapy alone has brought his PSA down to 1.  He looks so well - positively chipper (which he never was before diagnosis!), and he's put on nearly two stone in weight.   I'm now cautiously optimistic that he'll be around for a long while yet, especially when you read about others on this forum who started off far worse than my dad.

It's easy for everyone to tell you not to worry but I know EXACTLY how you are feeling - it's a nightmare and no amount of reassurance will make you feel any better.  But it will get better, I promise you, especially when you know what you are dealing with.

This time of year makes things worse as well as you will see everyone else seeming to be getting on with their lives without a care in the world while you feel as though you have the weight of the world on your shoulders.

User
Posted 16 Dec 2016 at 12:39

Good reading for you here Rob.

Scabbycat , your input is very encouraging to others. Thank you for sharing

Edited by member 17 Dec 2016 at 15:19  | Reason: Not specified

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
User
Posted 17 Dec 2016 at 15:15

Hey Johsan,

 

Thanks so much for your reply. Much appreciated.

 

Rob x

User
Posted 17 Dec 2016 at 15:17

Hi Lyn,

 

Thanks so much for your reply, sincerely appreciated.

 

Rob x

User
Posted 17 Dec 2016 at 15:18

Hi Heenan73

 

Thanks so much for your reply, sincerely appreciated.

 

Rob x

User
Posted 17 Dec 2016 at 15:19

Hey Ray,

 

Thanks for your reply.

Rob

User
Posted 17 Dec 2016 at 15:23

Hi Scabbycat,

 

Thanks so much for your encouraging words, its uncanny your situation and description of, is pretty much thus far identical .... but so encouraging that with help maybe he will get better. Thanks so much x

 
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