Coping with diagnosis and loss of sex drive

Morning ginagsurveys.

I'm bumping your post in the hope that somebody with the experience you are having will advise you.

It is not unusual for a PC sufferer to start looking on the black side and think his life is over, because, let's face it, for your partner his life is over - as it was before. Nothing can bring back what you had together and that is what he is mourning.

Perhaps every time he looks at you he realises what he has lost and certainly at present, he cannot see how he will ever get it back, so he spends less time with you and more with friends because it allows him a little bit of time where he can forget how his life has changed

It's not caused by a lack of love for you, more a fear of life continuing as it is.

I'm afraid you just have to be patient for a while until he calms down a little.

Whilst he has been on the hormone therapy, has his PSA dropped at all. Is the HT a forerunner to other treatment? ie radiotherapy perhaps once the cancer has shrunk. ?

On top of that you yourself are feeling sad and depressed because it isn't just about him is it? You've lost something of value too.   Perhaps you could talk to your GP and get some counselling because you need to be able to cope as well

Anyway, I hope others will be along to help you with their thoughts. Remember, we are here  if you need to let off steam.

Best wishes

Sandra

Edited by member 23 Dec 2016 at 10:16  | Reason: Not specified

Hi Gina,

There are a couple of puzzling things in your posts.

You say your man is '...on HT until his PSA level has fallen to 0.4...'  The doctors will want to keep him on HT forever, unless he has opted for intermittent HT.  They don't ordinarily stop giving HT when the PSA reaches a low number.

External Beam RT, is normally given as 'curative treatment', so if he has been offered RT, that suggests that the doctors think that there is a reasonable chance he might survive.

Has he invited you along to accompany him to his consultations?

My own hospital has specialist Oncology/Urology nurses that are always ready to offer advice and counselling about the whole range of side effect issues including relationship issues.

It might be a good idea for you to try and clarify some of these things, there are also PCUK specialist nurses on this site who you can telephone and will be able to offer you better advice than I can.

:)

Dave

Hi Gina,

It sounds to me that he isn't going to die of PCa any time soon.

One of the standard 'curative treatment' options, is to go on HT for the first six months following diagnosis, this causes the PCa tumour to shrink a little.

That means that when he then has RT the beams can be focused upon a smaller area, which in turn minimises the side effects caused by radiation damage to surrounding tissues.

Then he has to stay on HT for another year or two, because the radiation doesn't actually kill the cancer cells, it merely prevents them dividing and multiplying, so he needs to stay on the HT for a year or more while the cancer cells die off naturally without being able to replicate themselves.

The doctors often work on the basis of a package of 3 years HT, with the RT in the first year.

If you are technically minded you can read all about it on the Internet, you need to search adjuvant hormone therapy and neo-adjuvant hormone therapy.

I had all of that done to me 2007-2011, and I am still here with a PSA of 0.2, so you need to tell him that there are plenty of reasons to be cheerful.

:)

Dave