Hi Bladerunner, I know exactly what you are on about. I was told "statistically" 2 to 10 years but think 3-4, don't think 10. The out of date but most recent stats say only 28% of men with advanced pc will live 5 years. That is all that the docs go on as unless they see something ultra grim on diagnosis they have no idea how well we will tolerate the drug regime or how good we will be at individually fighting the cancer. For example I asked him how long Abirateone will work and was told for some not at all, others 4 years, the median is about 18 months (I have been on it for 12 months this week). The stats they use were collated before early chemo was used, before much of the learnings from stampede trials , before much understanding about the disease which has come on at a rate in part due to charities like PCUK.
So back to your original statement, I was desperate to make 2 years as that was the earliest date he gave so I think I felt like you do for much of the second year. My prognosis changed from a death sentence to a live sentence as I realised that I was almost blessed to have a wake up call and stop wasting my life. So 3 months over my 2 years survival I like to know what will probably be coming my way at some stage in the future and know that I could start going downhill anytime and possibly fast but my focus is today. I woke up today and felt ok so it's a good day, nothing else matters. I have some hopes for good things I want to do and see in the next 6 months and I know that they may or may not happen.
You know I run, I know those dreams of races this year (and an unannounced mega race for 2018) are possibly unattainable and according to my stats should never have been attainable including races and holidays I "statistically" may not have had already but every day is a step towards my goals, a day more of dreaming about it, talking about it, reading about it, training for it, living etc.
On the day after my first chemo 2 years ago I had my defining moment, give up and just wait for a bus that may come soon or take 10 years to arrive or live for every day. No regrets any day from that day forwards. So that is what I do. Of course I get anxious before every blood test, with every twinge when I run but t am not waiting at "the bus stop" for that bus, it will have to find me and I intend to be well off the beaten track. A bit like hide and seek when we were kids, some were found too easily as they didn't do anything to try to hide well, others hid so well the seeker gave up, I think right now I am hiding pretty well but I make sure that I keep moving around and not just wait.
I hope that in some small way that the above has helped you ( and others) my friend, it's easy to say worry about what you can't change, don't dwell on what you can not but that's how I live. If I had never been given a prognosis with a short first date I would have faffed around these last 2 years instead of getting out there. I have 3 aims in life now that everything I do has to fit in at least one of:-
Do what I want to do , almost selfishly , every day, but never at the expense of others
Make the best memories for my family, friends and anyone I come into contact with
Raise funds and awareness for prostate cancer uk so that when my kids aged 12, 16 and 19 get to 40 prostate cancer will be tamed and along the way many will have gone to the docs on first symptom or when they realise they are in a high risk group ( black and/or close relative has had pc) and be cureable even with today's knowledge.
What are your positive plans today?
Take care
Kev