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Where has all the joy gone?

Posted 19 February 2017 12:22:35(UTC)


I had surgery to remove my prostate in December 2013. In many ways I have been very lucky. The operation went very well and not too much nerve damage from what I can recall. I was dry almost immediately after my catheter was removed. I was introduced to the vacuum pump very early on and after a little practise found that it would work 95% of the time. Found the rings a little uncomfortable and not always able to achieve penetration but any sensation of a climax had gone completely. Tried various forms of medication but my reaction to these was extreme in every case and no sign of an erection at all. The result of this is that my libido is zero absolutely zero. I did and do discuss the problems with my wife and she has been very understanding. I have  turned to various types of counselling but none of these have been of any use at all. Other than the lack of interest in sex I lead a very active and fulfilling life. We had a satisfactory sex life before the operation and I just can't understand why I appear to be so disinterested now. Obviously my wife has asked me the question of whether it is her fault and I can honestly say that it isn't. I do not appear to have any desire for any woman at all no matter what their age, shape, personality, looks etc. I am considered a very happy person but this lack of any sexual feeling is getting me down.

I have read the various posts on here but I haven't come across anybody who appears to have had the same experience as myself and my wife.

Any suggestions please?



Thanked 1 time
Posted 19 February 2017 14:29:57(UTC)

Hi D,
first this forum is now open to google so anyone in the general public (or worse, family or friends) googling your name will be able to read what you have written .... best to edit it and remove your name, or just use your initial as I have done.

Did you ever learn how to have an orgasm without an erection? If not, then it is no wonder that you have list your libido; it would be difficult for anyone to get their ooomph if they know they are not going to get to climax. You (or your wife) can learn how to masturbate you with no erection but loads of lube, and oral sex works fine as well.

Second, do you have an ED nurse? If so, perhaps a chat with her about exercises that you can do around just touching and feeling without the pressure of having to perform?

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

Posted 19 February 2017 14:36:30(UTC)

Many thanks for the advice. We are lucky enough to be on holiday at the moment but will get in touch with ED clinic when we get back and have a chat with the nurse.


Much appreciated

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