3rd post - June 2017
3 weeks ago I finished the 6th of my 6 intravenous chemo sessions and am more than happy their over…!?! In the scheme of things I think I ‘got away with it’ on the side-effects front with only the multiple wee’s every night (up to 6 on some occasions) although they lessened a week or so after a treatment.
I can’t believe at the bear minimum I didn’t get the excessive fatigue that I continue to read that most others seem to get. I also kept waking up early, 3 or 4am for a toilet break and then found it incredibly hard to get back to sleep but again, I never then needed an afternoon siesta the next day which I found strange. Eventually though, it would catch up with me and I’d very suddenly be zonked out one afternoon and need a solid sleep to catch up…!?!
However, I am now suffering in a really bad way on the morale front. I’m extremely moody, down, depressed and my girlfriend of 14 years is finding me very hard to live with right now. The strange thing though, is that I don’t know what it is, apart obviously from my diagnosis. Some days I’m fine all day, then she comes home from work and I go ultra-moody which naturally makes her feel bad, (and me) as if it’s her coming home that’s caused it.
I also have major fatigue “now”, after the end of chemo and having stopped taking Prednisolone so I’m hoping it’s just my body trying to re-adjust…??
I continue to get out every day, exercise, walk, mix with different people when it suits me and attend a local Support Group once a month to keep myself active but just can’t seem to shift the low morale. I’ve also enlisted to speak to a specific ‘cancer’ counsellor but annoyingly they are overbooked and aren’t taking on any new patients until at least mid-July, ahh the NHS…!?!
I have since contacted Macmillan to speak to one of their people, they sound so helpful and supportive and I am waiting for a call-back so they can match me up with a relevant councillor. Looking ahead though, I see the 1st question being “so what do you want to talk about” or “what do you want to get out of these sessions”…??? And my response being “I don’t know”…!?!
Anyway, it’s been nice typing this, maybe this could be a route out of the hole I’m in, putting more of my thoughts down in text…?!