Recently diagnosed at 46. T3b Gleason 9 - Gleason 9,46 years old,t3

As Chris says WTF you do see to have got a bit lost in the moderating. The site isn't perfect unfortunately, but moderating is a protection for us all so serves a purpose.

I'm sure you will get replies now that Chris has bumped you up the list but I just wanted to add that apart from advice we do offer support to both the man and his partner.

As a wife I do understand how your's feels. Her whole world has imploded and she is frightened. I'm sure you are too but she is lost and hurting.

I wish you could talk together because talking helps to clear the air. Perhaps she feels that by expressing her fears she is laying an extra burden on you that you could do without at the moment.

To get through this you really need to work together.

Hi Sussex Man,

I can appreciate your previous name, as it covers how we felt too ;-)

My husband David was diagnosed with TB3 Gleason 9 in October 2015

He has since then had three moths hormone treatment before having HDR Brachytherapy on April 19th last year (2016) followed by 5 weeks of radiotherapy, and he will be on Prostrap hormone treatment until June 2018.

His last the PSA test have come back <0.1

The radiotherapy he found hard going as he had to live away from home as we live rurally, we rented a small place for him to stay near the hospital, he has his treatment Monday to Friday and came home for the weekends.

He found the radiotherapy gave him disturbed nights and he had to urinate regularly through the night, he had little sleep and he was very tired.

Some men I have heard breeze through this treatment, and carry on working. David could bot have managed to do this, fortunately he did not have to.

The brachytherapy was in his words much easier, he was in hospital overnight, and came home; he was cutting the grass within a few days!

The side effects of all this are no libido, ED he has aches in his body, and days of regular fatigue.

David does exercise every day, we have an acre of garden where we grow or own veg. David is a professional musician and most days he sings and plays music, although he has not been doing ‘ gigs’ for a while, he is now getting to the stage where he wants to gig again.

From my perspective as David’s wife, it has been hard, but we have found talking about it helps but it has sometimes been difficult for both of us.

I’ve made mistakes and sometimes I said the wrong things. We have cried and laughed, sometimes the PCancer took over our lives ruled us.

Now we are in a stronger better place and we are making plans. We have had three holidays, been to visit people and joined our local prostate cancer support group, and I wrote an article for them from a wife or partner perspective., doing this helped me a great deal.

If you would like to converse further please feel free to direct message me.

Hi Sussexman,
I think we all deal with diagnosis so differently. My husband would never dream of coming on a site like this but i find it extremely helpful in all sorts of ways.
I don't know what your circumstances are but my husband is 44 and I'm 42 with 2 young kids of 5 and 7. I often get accused of not caring or not understanding where in reality I'm just trying to keep things as normal as possible for the kids and getting on with life because I have to.
If you don't have kids, were there plans to have any or even if you do have kids was there thoughts of having more.
I hope you are able to talk with your wife, I'm sure she like the rest of us is fearful of something. If you can get it out in the open you can face the fears together.
Even if your wife won't come on the forum she can phone or message the nurses if she has questions. I found this very helpful.
Good luck with your treatment and post whenever you have questions or just a need to voice something.
Julie

HI Sussexman 

My hubby was diagnosed age 50 TB3 no mets ,he had a TURP and radiotherapy for 7 weeks , (he is 59 now ) he had no problems at all with the radiotherapy and each treatment only lasted about 90 seconds it was just the travel parking and getting changed that took the time, you will also meet other men attending for their radiotherapy, some maybe well into their treatment and we actually got treatment envy of those eg in week 5 when he was on week 1.

The hormone blockade made my husband very tired he also had to have radiotherapy for his breast to stop them growing, but this was not very successful and he was prescribed tamoxifen. hot flushes are also a problem for him.

Just a thought has your consultant not considered removing your prostate as it has not spread? robotic surgery has very good results. 

it must hard not being able to talk to your wife ,maybe when you feel the time is right ask your wife how she is feeling and what her fears are about the cancer.  it is a time when you need to talk as a couple like you have never talked before, my hubby is not good at talking to others but he talks openly to me.   

It is good that you have found this group, so much knowledge and experience here.

My husband made no real changes to his diet, we just eat a healthy balanced diet, food is a big part of your life making so many adjustments can be extra stressful, on the other hand alcohol was dramatically reduced to about 2 units a week max. he does not smoke.

Exercise is good, sometimes the more you do the better you feel but there will be days when you may just feel too exhausted just go with how you are feeling.

take care 

jools

I can't really help with the choice of treatment, my OH has had surgery, then salvage RT. He was diagnosed aged 57.

We are the opposite way round. He doesn't want to discuss it at all. I want to know everything. In the early days, I spent a lot of time talking to people on this forum, and filtered information through to the OH when I thought it was important. Occasionally I lost my rag with him and told him he was being selfish. It's got better as time has gone on.

Good luck for your treatment plan.

L

Hi I was Dx 2011

with 4+5 T3b still here 

see profile

Regards 

Barry

Hi Ian, sussexman hasn't actually logged on since April 2017 and I suspect whatever treatment he had is now a distant memory.

Also worth noting that while the forum has very few rules, naming medics is not permitted.

Edited by moderator 27 Apr 2018 at 20:42  | Reason: Not specified