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My Dad has just been diagnosed with cancer

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User
Posted 18 Apr 2017 at 12:10

Hi All,

Firstly may I say hi to all of you on this site and chat room.

I'm not sure why I'm here on this chat room (well I do) as my Dad has only just found out on Thursday that he has cancer. Its all happened all very quick. He is 65 years old and went into a drop in session that was advertised locally a couple of weeks ago. My Mum saw the advert in the local paper and said he should go along. His response was "I have no symptoms" but he did any way.

later that afternoon he had a call to say that his blood reading was a 9 and with in two days he was having a biopsy taken. The results cam in last Tuesday (11th April) and an appointment made on the 13th. He has had it confirmed that he has an aggressive cancer. The next stages are an MRI scan and a bone scan to see what the extent is, these scans haven't been booked yet as it was Easter. This has knocked us as a family as you never think you're ever going to hear those words "you have cancer".

I'm about a 2hr journey away from home, the drive doesn't bother me but the family is struggling at the moment to try and take it all in. My Mum is't sleeping too well, my Dad has low moments throughout the day. My Brother who lives 20 mins away has read through all of the information that was given to my Dad to try and digest whats happening, he's struggling to take it all in and has gone off his food and not wanting to eat as he is worried about everything.

I know its early stages at the moment and I'm just please that there was this drop in session and was picked up early. Its now just a waiting game for the scans and the operation and what happens next.

Well that's me and I'll update more when I know more.

Mike

 

User
Posted 18 Apr 2017 at 20:54

Hello Drewy and welcome to the site. Diagnosis is certainly a scary time and affects people in all sorts of ways. The word aggressive is also often used to describe cancer but can be misleading especially in terms of prostate cancer and definitely does not mean untreatable.
It might help others to give you advice if you can post any other details from the biopsy. Primarily the Gleason score made up of two numbers ranging from 3+3 at the least aggressive end up to 4+5 at the more aggressive end.
The other scans you mention will be looking for spread and will give your dad's team the full picture so they can work out the most appropriate treatment for him.
Please feel free to post here any time whether it's for information about treatment or side effects or emotional support or anything else that you need.
Julie

User
Posted 19 Apr 2017 at 13:23
Thank you all very much for those words and yes it was the right thing for me to post something here. I spoke to my Dad this morning and please to say he's feeling a bit more up beat now he knows when scans are. He is seeing a friend this afternoon who is just recovering from PC. This friend was responsible for setting up a drop in session and getting it advertised in the local paper that it was happening. If it wasn't for him how long would it have been before symptoms started to show?

We are a close family and try not to keep things like this away from each other. Many years ago my Mum had a benign cancer in her neck when I was about 12yrs old, they didn't say anything till my mum was going for the op. I remember telling the not to keep anything like that from us. I'm now 38 and my brother is 36.

I'll keep you all posted on this thread of how my dad is progressing.

Many thanks

User
Posted 18 Apr 2017 at 21:28

Hi Drewy
i honestly know what you are all going through, I was in a sort of surereal world when first told i had cancer and was probably in denial for some time, but as i always say if your going to get a cancer then PC is the best one to get as most men make a full recovery.
Yes there is a difficult period for all of your family to get to grips with, but being a close family will help each of you believe me.
Dont forget statistically most men do not die of PC even if they are diagnosed with it, it is not a death sentence, but a warning that action needs to be taken.
I was told i had aggressive cancer and a Gleason of 3+4 but it was contained within my prostate, i had a full RT and then 36b sessions of Radiotherapy but am on the road to recovery and that is why all the test are so necessary to find out exactly where the cancer is, and then the specialist can offer the best advice.
Stay strong for your Dad and the rest of your family, You will get through this and Prostate Cancer is one of the most treatable of all cancers.
Stay on the forum there is so much help on here for both you and your dad
Good luck
All the best
Tony

User
Posted 18 Apr 2017 at 23:49
Hi Mike,

I just wanted to say welcome to this sight even though I am sure you would rather not be here, getting to grips with the big C diagnosis is so hard and everyone on here has been where you are today it is so scary and we all understand that.

The one thing I would pass on in our 4 year diagnosis is never give up hope we were diagnosed with NO hope and here we are 4 years on .

Post when you want to and some one will be here to help.

BFN

Julie X

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON
User
Posted 19 Apr 2017 at 07:15

Hello Mike and welcome to the site.

As you can see from the other posts, a Prostate Cancer diagnosis, although horrible to hear, does not always result in the worst case scenario.

Click on Trevor Boothe's avatar above and read Trevor's profile. He is one of a number of men on here diagnosed with aggressive PC and as Julie says he is still here 4 years later, albeit having had a rocky road on some of his journey.

Irun (again check his profile by clicking on his avatar) has just completed the Sahara run.

If you go to publications on this site you can download The Toolkit. This is a lot of information regarding the various treatments and their effects and it may help with forming questions when your dad goes for his next appointment.

I expect your mum goes with him but perhaps if she isn't coping well then either you or your brother could go with them too. Take a notepad and pen to write down answers to your questions. None of you will take in everything at the time so notes are handy to reflect back on and it's perfectly normal for many on here to turn up with their written questions and make a note of the answer.

We're hear to listen and to help where we can. All is not lost. Life it just wobbly at the moment but once a treatment plan is in place lives will settle down to a new "normal" for all of you.

It's good that your parents have kept you and your brother posted because trying to keep PC secret from your children causes added strain and you all need to be supporting each other right now. I can understand your brother going off his food due to stress but he (and you) need to be fit and able to help your dad and mum.

I don't know how old you and your brother are but at some stage in the (hopefully distant ) future it might be wise to bear in mind that you would be advised to get your own PSAs done and often PC follows from father to son, as it does also with a mother having had breast/ovarian cancer.

Keep strong. You'll be an enormous help to everyone else in the family but remember you need support too

Best Wishes

*****

Edited by member 19 Apr 2017 at 07:18  | Reason: Not specified

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
User
Posted 29 May 2017 at 15:49

Hi Drewy,

I think you have come to the right place as i did when i was diagnosed with Pc everybody on here are so friendly and helpful.

It sound like you are well on the way with treatment so good luck keep in touch,I had a different operation  to your dad and so far my Psa is going down but eight months on from Opp.

 

John. 

Show Most Thanked Posts
User
Posted 18 Apr 2017 at 20:54

Hello Drewy and welcome to the site. Diagnosis is certainly a scary time and affects people in all sorts of ways. The word aggressive is also often used to describe cancer but can be misleading especially in terms of prostate cancer and definitely does not mean untreatable.
It might help others to give you advice if you can post any other details from the biopsy. Primarily the Gleason score made up of two numbers ranging from 3+3 at the least aggressive end up to 4+5 at the more aggressive end.
The other scans you mention will be looking for spread and will give your dad's team the full picture so they can work out the most appropriate treatment for him.
Please feel free to post here any time whether it's for information about treatment or side effects or emotional support or anything else that you need.
Julie

User
Posted 18 Apr 2017 at 21:28

Hi Drewy
i honestly know what you are all going through, I was in a sort of surereal world when first told i had cancer and was probably in denial for some time, but as i always say if your going to get a cancer then PC is the best one to get as most men make a full recovery.
Yes there is a difficult period for all of your family to get to grips with, but being a close family will help each of you believe me.
Dont forget statistically most men do not die of PC even if they are diagnosed with it, it is not a death sentence, but a warning that action needs to be taken.
I was told i had aggressive cancer and a Gleason of 3+4 but it was contained within my prostate, i had a full RT and then 36b sessions of Radiotherapy but am on the road to recovery and that is why all the test are so necessary to find out exactly where the cancer is, and then the specialist can offer the best advice.
Stay strong for your Dad and the rest of your family, You will get through this and Prostate Cancer is one of the most treatable of all cancers.
Stay on the forum there is so much help on here for both you and your dad
Good luck
All the best
Tony

User
Posted 18 Apr 2017 at 23:49
Hi Mike,

I just wanted to say welcome to this sight even though I am sure you would rather not be here, getting to grips with the big C diagnosis is so hard and everyone on here has been where you are today it is so scary and we all understand that.

The one thing I would pass on in our 4 year diagnosis is never give up hope we were diagnosed with NO hope and here we are 4 years on .

Post when you want to and some one will be here to help.

BFN

Julie X

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON
User
Posted 19 Apr 2017 at 07:15

Hello Mike and welcome to the site.

As you can see from the other posts, a Prostate Cancer diagnosis, although horrible to hear, does not always result in the worst case scenario.

Click on Trevor Boothe's avatar above and read Trevor's profile. He is one of a number of men on here diagnosed with aggressive PC and as Julie says he is still here 4 years later, albeit having had a rocky road on some of his journey.

Irun (again check his profile by clicking on his avatar) has just completed the Sahara run.

If you go to publications on this site you can download The Toolkit. This is a lot of information regarding the various treatments and their effects and it may help with forming questions when your dad goes for his next appointment.

I expect your mum goes with him but perhaps if she isn't coping well then either you or your brother could go with them too. Take a notepad and pen to write down answers to your questions. None of you will take in everything at the time so notes are handy to reflect back on and it's perfectly normal for many on here to turn up with their written questions and make a note of the answer.

We're hear to listen and to help where we can. All is not lost. Life it just wobbly at the moment but once a treatment plan is in place lives will settle down to a new "normal" for all of you.

It's good that your parents have kept you and your brother posted because trying to keep PC secret from your children causes added strain and you all need to be supporting each other right now. I can understand your brother going off his food due to stress but he (and you) need to be fit and able to help your dad and mum.

I don't know how old you and your brother are but at some stage in the (hopefully distant ) future it might be wise to bear in mind that you would be advised to get your own PSAs done and often PC follows from father to son, as it does also with a mother having had breast/ovarian cancer.

Keep strong. You'll be an enormous help to everyone else in the family but remember you need support too

Best Wishes

*****

Edited by member 19 Apr 2017 at 07:18  | Reason: Not specified

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
User
Posted 19 Apr 2017 at 13:23
Thank you all very much for those words and yes it was the right thing for me to post something here. I spoke to my Dad this morning and please to say he's feeling a bit more up beat now he knows when scans are. He is seeing a friend this afternoon who is just recovering from PC. This friend was responsible for setting up a drop in session and getting it advertised in the local paper that it was happening. If it wasn't for him how long would it have been before symptoms started to show?

We are a close family and try not to keep things like this away from each other. Many years ago my Mum had a benign cancer in her neck when I was about 12yrs old, they didn't say anything till my mum was going for the op. I remember telling the not to keep anything like that from us. I'm now 38 and my brother is 36.

I'll keep you all posted on this thread of how my dad is progressing.

Many thanks

User
Posted 25 Apr 2017 at 10:25
The bone scan was carried out yesterday. Now a week to wait for the MRI scan. We have been told that he could have all the results from both scans by Thursday next week.

I really don't like this waiting about.

Drewy

User
Posted 16 May 2017 at 10:56

Hi,
I share your worry - i just went through this with my dad ( 70 ).
Easter did set things back a bit for us but he is now finally on a treatment plan.
All i can suggest, being a daughter not living close to my parents, is just keep in regular contact with them, which i am sure you are! All we can do is be there - at the end of the phone, or skype in my situation to listen and to try and make them laugh.
Fingers crossed for your dad. Try not to worry, easy to say but it won't change things and can make you ill in the process which is no good for your dad !.

User
Posted 29 May 2017 at 01:32
Hi All,

It's been a rollercoaster of a journey since I last posted & a lot has gone on.

There has been some great news both scans (bone and MIR) came back all clear and that the cancer was still contained in the prostate.

He has opted for surgery and that all happens this week!

Tuesday - in for the pre meet

Wednesday - surgery

Thursday - home

After the prostate is removed then tests will be carried out in the cancer to see how aggressive it is.

I mentioned the distance from my parents, well we are chatting more often, couple of times a week and plus FaceTiming more often. Sometimes it's just a quick 5-10mins.

Let you know how he gets on.

Drewy

User
Posted 29 May 2017 at 15:49

Hi Drewy,

I think you have come to the right place as i did when i was diagnosed with Pc everybody on here are so friendly and helpful.

It sound like you are well on the way with treatment so good luck keep in touch,I had a different operation  to your dad and so far my Psa is going down but eight months on from Opp.

 

John. 

 
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