Hi Bill
Firstly , welcome and secondly they are more than 2 options in your case.
Have a look at my profile also; my brother has opted for RT and starts next month, I had RP over 2 yrs ago.
To keep it very simple and make the decision far easier, what are you and your wife looking for post treatment ?
Have you listed and both rated (independently or together) the key differentiators of your options ?
No need to rush in my humble opinion. Nothing is predictable as you know.
The key difference that I find quite easy to deal with is, and I would not want to influence your decision at all (indeed I spoke at length with my brother for over 3 months before he finally opted for RT)
Surgery will offer you a known 'success or not' by 3 months post op (and a very good indication 6 weeks post op) - ie PSA quarterly monitoring, which some folk find more comfortable knowing, others maybe not. ie PSA should be undetectable . Removed tissue does allow accurate staging of your cancer. However it is a major op and has risks.
RT - Modern techniques allow far far better targeting. However no staging information after treatment. My brother has had gold seed implanted last week and SpaceOAR* ( it's a hydrogel 'spacer' to move bowel away).
Again he is comfortable being retired and living close by to the treatment centre , that each RT session doesn't take him a whole day for 9 weeks. He has a simulation session and mpMRI 4 weeks before actual treatment starts, I assume to line everything up and get you used to procedure. (He is medicare not privately funding by the way ).
Hope this helps , the key issue we found is to ask as much as possible and question everything in a positive way.
Gordon