Hi Mel. I am sorry to read where your husband and your family are.
I am 52, was diagnosed 3 years ago, PSA 324, T4 N1M1a, spread to lymphs extensively but somehow not bones.
The first couple of months of understanding my prognosis were awful as I could not get my head round it however from then on I have moved on mentally. Life is for living, never waste a day, no regrets and all that.
I had early chemo, side effects in hindsight all manageable, radiotherapy, zoladex, biclutamide and now abiraterone which I have been in for 18 months. My PSA is 0.13, I still work, I have had and will have more great times away, my kids now age 19, 17 and 12 all seem ok and I run. I run lots, I have completed in many ultra marathons and in fact tomorrow am off to Iceland to run a 6 day 250 kilometre race carrying all my own stuff for the week.
Prostate Cancer has no rules, we are all different however I have had two cracking years and as I said it is not over yet.
My lymph nodes were 3.5cm long before chemo and zoladex, they shrank back to normal size (about 0.5cm) after. My onco says that as I was diagnosed with a high PSA it is highly likely that when the cancer gets active again it will be after a fast rise in PSA so with mine having been less than 0.3 for a year then for now what am I worried about?
I write the above to hopefully give you a story to share with your family about how good things can be for a long while. Everyday when we get up we have a choice no matter what is going on out there, be happy and look for the good or focus on the bad. Personally I seem to manage on the good, I do hope that you and your family can do likewise. I am closer to my family now than ever.
Have a great day, Kev