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No more treatment for Dad :(

Posted 31 Aug 2017 at 11:35

Hi everyone.


I have to admit that I haven't been on the forum for quite a long time, due to my Dad doing well and life returning to relative normality.  He has advanced PC that has spread to many of his bones.  He has always remained very positive and has never let it get him down.  He has also been extremely lucky in that he has not suffered pain, which the doctors have been very surprised at!


However, about 6 weeks ago, he did start getting pain in his hip and leg.  He was given various painkillers including morphine which didn't touch it at all.  He was also given an xray which apparently didn't show anything up.  The pain continued for 2 weeks and so my mum contacted the local hospice, where he has been treated before, who advised them to to back to the hospital and get another Xray done.  Upon having another Xray done it was discovered that my dad had broken his hip and had been walking around on it for the past 2 weeks.  Not impressed with the hospital!!


I don't live local to him as I am in Gloucestershire and he is in Kent, but I went to see him the day after he had an operation to put a big nail and a couple of pins into his hip.  He was in hospital for a week and was then allowed home on crutches.  The following week he had an appointment with his Oncologist to get the results of his most recent bone scan and CT scan.  I was away on holiday and my mum told me that the PC had spread slightly but that he as OK.  I got back from holiday 2 days ago and spoke to my mum.  She then confirmed that the spread has now gone into his liver and that there is nothing more they can do for him.  I am naturally devastated by this, as like most daughters, my dad is my hero.


However, over the past 2 days, he has been acting quite strangely.  He is not eating much, he has been being quite sick, he is sleeping an awful lot which I guess are all to be expected.  However, he has also been quite vague, not really taking in anything that  my mum says to him and claiming that he can't hear her, or the TV which is quite loud.  He went to the dr and they tested him for a urine infection but it was all clear.  I spoke to him yesterday and he just didn't sound himself and also a bit slurred.  We wondered if maybe either he had had a mini stroke (he had a stroke about 14 years ago) or whether it's the effects of the cancer.  Does anyone have any suggestions?  They have the hospice nurse calling round them to see later today so hopefully she will be able to offer them a little advice/support.


I feel so helpless being so far away.  Part of me really wants to drop everything and go and visit him, but my daughter starts University in 2 weeks time and I want to be there for her too.  I hope for her to settle in for a couple of weeks and then I can go and visit him but the way he is currently deteriorating, I don't know how unwell he will be by then.


Sorry for rambling on, but I am typing as I am thinking!!


Thank you taking the time to read this.



Posted 31 Aug 2017 at 19:01

I'm so sorry that things have taken this turn Rachel and please don't feel the need to apologise for a very human reaction to what is going on in your life.

I hope by now that the hospice nurse has been able to confirm what your dad's problem is and has been able to offer advice.

I hope somebody else will be along to offer practical help.

Best Wishes



We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
Posted 02 Sep 2017 at 21:44

Has he started taking the morphine? My dad had a similar experience where he was sleeping all the time, not eating, confused etc. We thought he was at the end (he has an aggressive type of cancer and has declined very quickly). However it turned out he was toxic from too much morphine.

My dad is a LOT further on than yours but I've heard a lot about people's meds making them toxic and it would be worth mentioning (if he is on them as you jinitially said he refused).

Big hugs x

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