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I’m scared.

User
Posted 01 Nov 2017 at 16:19
Hello,

My dad is 87, mum died last year and he lives with me. He’s had prostate cancer for many years but it is now metastatic and apparently widespread in his bones. He has been having implants and medication ( Becolutamide?) for several months but the consultant says he seems to be one of the unfortunate ones who doesn’t respond to the treatment. There is still steroids and a new drug she says he can try but she cautioned that as he hadn’t responded to the other hormone treatments that the new drug may not be successful either. I know he can’t live forever, when I took him in to live with me after we lost mum I expected the ‘end’ to come in the form of a stroke/infection/ heart attack etc, etc. It now seems the cancer will take him and I’m scared. I don’t know what to expect. He hates being in hospital and I think he would want to be at home. At the moment he doesn’t seem to be entirely aware of the gravity of the situation. I feel very alone and worried about what’s ahead.

User
Posted 01 Nov 2017 at 22:18

It's difficult but it seems to me that you are doing everything that can be done for your father. He is in a good place with you and I am sure he knows that and appreciates all you are doing for him. Just keep doing what you are doing and know that he is grateful for your care.

User
Posted 01 Nov 2017 at 22:19

Hi Lentil

Sorry that you and your dad are in this situation. Not knowing makes things so much more frightening I think. Probably worth asking the onco for a clearer prognosis so that you know the likely timescales and can begin to plan ahead. If your dad is not responding to treatment and is in pain or feeling rough, do ask to be linked up to a palliative care team. They are not just available for end-of-life issues but are able to support both of you - with medication, advice, counselling and information about home care and hospice options. They were a lifeline for me and my OH and helped ensure that he could stay out of hospital and at home which was what he wanted.

Good luck.

Ruth x

User
Posted 01 Nov 2017 at 22:25

Hi Lentil63,

We are not in a position to advise what treatment your dad should have - his consultant will best know his situation and what further to try and in what order as his response may not be predictable. I appreciate the concern you must have and a suggestion I would make is that you contact Macmillan who are experienced with this kind of situation. This could prove helpful to you and dad.

Best wishes,

Barry
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User
Posted 01 Nov 2017 at 22:18

It's difficult but it seems to me that you are doing everything that can be done for your father. He is in a good place with you and I am sure he knows that and appreciates all you are doing for him. Just keep doing what you are doing and know that he is grateful for your care.

User
Posted 01 Nov 2017 at 22:19

Hi Lentil

Sorry that you and your dad are in this situation. Not knowing makes things so much more frightening I think. Probably worth asking the onco for a clearer prognosis so that you know the likely timescales and can begin to plan ahead. If your dad is not responding to treatment and is in pain or feeling rough, do ask to be linked up to a palliative care team. They are not just available for end-of-life issues but are able to support both of you - with medication, advice, counselling and information about home care and hospice options. They were a lifeline for me and my OH and helped ensure that he could stay out of hospital and at home which was what he wanted.

Good luck.

Ruth x

User
Posted 01 Nov 2017 at 22:25

Hi Lentil63,

We are not in a position to advise what treatment your dad should have - his consultant will best know his situation and what further to try and in what order as his response may not be predictable. I appreciate the concern you must have and a suggestion I would make is that you contact Macmillan who are experienced with this kind of situation. This could prove helpful to you and dad.

Best wishes,

Barry
 
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