Control How?

Hello Barry,

I can tell you are anxious and can only suggest that while you wait for a member with the experience to answer you that you ring one of the specialist nurses on 0800 074 8383 for reassurance.

8 Weeks seems a very long time to you but realistically, having had surgery, it's no time at all. Your insides have to recover so you shouldn't expect too much too soon.

Yes, some men are lucky enough to regain control of their bladder almost immediately but it also isn't unusual to have to wait for nature to take it's course and let you heal.

12 weeks also doesn't seem unreasonable to me for the surgical consultant's appointment. He is also going to be waiting for you to heal before he evaluates your progress.

IF the cancer has spread (IF IF IF) then it can be sorted out.

Your profile doesn't state whether the cancer was contained in the prostate but I assume if it wasn't then you would not have been able to have surgery but I expect somebody else will confirm that for you.

Try and be patient for a while and do what exercises you can in the meantime

Edited by member 28 Feb 2018 at 16:15  | Reason: Not specified

I don't know whether it is any consolation, but I am pretty sure you are "in the normal range" for recovering continence, given it is pretty wide.

Your experience isn't that different from mine, I was tearing my hair out at that stage with frustration at the continuing leaks. However bit by bit things improved, not all at once I am afraid. Psychologically I was lucky that that was the point where we had a pre-booked beach holiday; I wasn't optimistic about going but it did me the world of good to discover that I could chill out and enjoy myself despite the need every so often to change pads.

What I found (and no one's experience is identical) is that very gradually I was using fewer pads, from around 8 a day when the catheter came out to 4 or 5 and then slowly down to 1. What seemed to happen was that the sphincters very slowly got stronger and could hold back more in the bladder, the problem being that the small capacity at the beginning was not enough for me to have the sense of needing urination so I would start oozing once that level was reached. After around 6 months there was enough capacity that there was a slight sense of fullness so I was able (usually) to use the toilet before leaking. However it wasn't till around 9 months that I was mostly managing with just 1 pad a day.

In practice the improved strength wasn't constant through the day, I found that I had more control in the morning but it fell away as the day went on and presumably the sphincters got tired. In fact that is still the case: right now I have a cold that turned into a bad cough and find myself again needing multiple pads. My assumption is the sphincters tire much quicker when they are being worked hard to resist the extra pressure from each cough, and by the evening I am experiencing again the seemingly random leaks I thought were well in the past. I am crossing my fingers that the cough will eventually disappear and I will be back where I was.

At the moment, a little less than 2 years from the operation, I definitely need a pad though on my best days I could get away with a thin liner one (if of course I knew in advance which days were going to be good ones). I am hoping I am one of those who continues to slowly improve out to 3 years from the operation and pads will eventually be in the past, but if that is how it is one a day isn't too much of a hardship.

ED is a whole different story, but I followed the advice (medication and pump) and an acceptable level of function has returned despite only one nerve being preserved.