Hi Susie, what I write here is my experience after chemo.
chemo worked for me, PSA dropped and I got through it with a bit of nausea, taste buds shot, a couple of a&e visits and some tiredness/sadness however I countered that by running all through and didtwo marathons on weeks 13 and 15 of chemo.
what came next was a bit of being in limbo, they gave me 6 doses of rt to the prostate, at the time rare but now more common if you have spread, and then there was this void. You see after 7 months near constant treatment/tests they did not want to see me for 3 months. Whilst that was great I did feel sort of abandoned. I know there was nothing to say/do but it left me a bit dazed mentally as I was so used to a weekly conversation about how I was doing. So be prepared for hubby potentially feeling a bit lost.
At the Time there was a McMillan advert on tv with a man walking around in the snow wearing a hospital gown, lost, that is exactly how I felt. In the advert a McMillan nurse found him, in my life my wife was always there and I did what I loved and carried on running, between the two my life just got better and now 3 years after chemo/rt ended I still run, a bit slower but much much further than before.
to me my life has been better and with more meaning since I was diagnosed, don’t get me wrong, I wish I never had it but the opportunity to enjoy life, make the best memories for me, family and friends and finally do so much fund raising and good for others by being a regular volunteer for PCUK have given my life more purpose. I try to be a force for good (I am still no saint by the way!).
in 10days time , over 100 colleagues will be walking a marathon each for Pcuk, I am doing all 7 with them.They hav eorganised this themselves because of me and will raise around £50k. It is very humbling to me but also gives me even more of that meaning I talk about and gives me energy to combat the tiredness that I could easily give in to.
so I have tried to answer your concern with what I know first hand, there will be low Points but f your hubby is able to fill his life with purpose, whatever that is for him then the bad thoughts go away.
i have now been on abiraterone for 28 months, I know it won’t last for ever maybe not much longer but my PSA was the lowest ever this month at 0.08 so don’t give up, make the most of it. I have a personal website www.makethemostofit.org if you want to see what I have been up to these last three years and how I deal mentally with th bad stuff.