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Dem bones... (or 'keep that bucket-list short, g).

User
Posted 26 Jul 2018 at 09:06

A quick and flippant update, genuinely not intended to upset anyone who doesn't like my view of 'we're all at some point gonna die anyway, so may as well pass-through with a smile on your face'.

Hardly unexpectedly, my recent bone-scan (http://community.prostatecanceruk.org/posts/t16330--Jackie-Gleason-said) shows spread - though not as much as expected... I was anticipating something like those high-above aerial shots of the USA in which it's clear that 'somebody's left a lot of lights on all over the place'.

As seems to be common, sternum and spine have been occupied. (The former perhaps as a staging-post for potential breast cancer as the hormone effects increase.)

From the pain levels in recent months, I'd been expecting widespread pelvic activity... wondering whether 'pelvis amputation' was viable set me thinking about Doctor Who, and how Davros the Dalek leader was nought but an ugly blob sitting on a shelf in a Dalek suit, and whether I could get a mobility scooter suitably adapted with sink plunger and death ray.

On the plus-side, my long-troublesome groin pain seems to have mysteriously disappeared... 'cancer's probably eaten whatever was causing it' suggests my adult daughter - a cue for us to launch into a riff about how developing a Pacman-type phone game in which the fruit-gathering hero is replaced by a highly-mobile tissue-gobbling cancer cluster dodging radiotherapy blasts and chemo-floods could be our path to prosperity.

When I was a kid, among the ongoing delights (with catapults and Beano) was the 'Observer pocket books'... a trainspotter-thing in which you 'ticked-off' items you'd seen.

The 'Birds' volume was a favourite, and I've always been surprised by apparently just how common the Golden Eagle is in small seaside towns - my mates and I had all seen 'em, without venturing anywhere near a Scottish highland. (Of course, being fellow man-from UNCLE agents alongside Napoloen Solo probably helped.)

Anyway, I'm wondering whether a 'hospital' variant might be viable... in which you progressively tick-off MRI, bone-scanner, CT - along with urologist, oncologist, morgue attendant, etcetera.

Hhhmmm... could be a goer that one - perhaps better than the phone game idea.

So, in closing, with due regard to mortality I'll keep the bucket list on the short-side... at least the Harry Potter series seem to have dried-up, so I'll not have to worry about potentially missing-out on 'Harry and the Secret of the Smoothies' (in which our hero, approaching middle-age, has become a tad flabby round the midriff and embraces weight-loss diets). And that desire to 'sing, like Emmylou Harris, on a tv talent show' was never serious anyway (despite the hormone therapy potentially boosting my chances).

Anyway, gotta go... have a date with a CT scanner. (I'm wondering just how long it'll be before the 'Siemens' logo has subconsciously imprinted itself on me, and I order one of their hearing aids even though I'm not deaf).

User
Posted 28 Jul 2018 at 08:32

@Johsan

> I love your humour Gulliver, and also the fact that your adult daughter can share in it with you.

My thanks to you for your encouragement.


> When the original list is complete why not think about a "bucket dip".
Put a lot of "I want to" ideas in a container and randomly pick one out.

Excellent idea, and something I think can be helpful to 'anyone, anytime' regardless of their health. We can all benefit from appropriate self-indulgence.


--------------------

@colwickchris

> I was having a tish day today, catheter playing up, leaking like a sieve, hot and sweaty around the catheter port and then another post, that put more than a smile on my face.

Thankyou - I'm genuinely humbled by having helped brighten things. And, of course, my best wishes and hope to you.


--------------------

@francij1

>s*** news about the bone scan - great to see you are still irreverent and highly amusing!

Thanks.

I think though, 'the best is yet to come' and my upcoming CAT-scan may reveal my mutant cells have been quite active in terms of enjoying passage through my bloodstream.

 

> Have fun with the bucket list!

I shall do my best, although it clearly requires some moderation and better judgment on my part... having perhaps been too-greatly influenced by a recent Guardian article ('A heatwave is the perfect moment to rediscover the joys of being naked') which with 'let’s take advantage of the unusual temperatures to shake off some of our cold-climate prudishness' encourages exploration of the benefits of public nudity.

With hindsight, I can now appreciate that Sainsburys was not the best place to have embraced this (although they have always been a bit stuffy anyway, so maybe the fault is not entirely mine, and perhaps such minimal attire may be more acceptable when buying new pants at M&S).

In closing... having often enjoyed Willie Nelson, I'm delighted to have belatedly discovered this (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kn-AB78kvvE) from him. Could be the beginning of a plan.

I'm sorry that my contributions here are limited to quips and joviality. I've previously briefly tried being serious and posting accordingly, but it's not something I'm easily able to do.

I'm fortunate to apparently 'not care to much about being-terminally-f***ed' and so my hope is that through sharing my experiences in a relatively light-hearted manner I can be of at least some help to someone somewhere sometime.

 

Edited by member 28 Jul 2018 at 08:33  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 26 Jul 2018 at 23:20
s*** news about the bone scan - great to see you are still irreverent and highly amusing! Have fun with the bucket list!
User
Posted 28 Jul 2018 at 19:24

@Bollinge...

Your posting of that video is a likely sign of shared humour, in that my first post to this forum included 'That Monty Python 'always look on the bright side...' has just entered my thoughts. Probably not bad advice.'

(And no, I've not had a terminal prognosis, but as bone mets has a significantl incidence of 'demise' I'm simply looking ahead.)

:-)

User
Posted 20 Aug 2018 at 18:40

@VickM14...

> My dad was an avid Dylan fan... sounded like a donkey farting down a trumpet... etcetera.


Over the years I've enjoyed much of his stuff... but increasingly less-so - doubtless due in part to my ageing and tastes changing. But, open-mindedly tolerant though I consider myself, I think the windy-assed ass and his blow-pipe might be a more musical (and enjoyable) alternative.

 


@Bollinge...

Nice 'bucket' pun, there. Kudos.


> My friend ... is keen on voluntary euthanasia.


'Honey, aren't we all.'

Seriously though (or as much as my warped mindset enables me to be so), such a topic might be a worthwhile thread (surely it's been frequently raised and discussed?).

Among the various self-terminate options 'a bottle of pento-b' (have you seen the bl**dy price of it nowadays?) is my terminal tipple of choice.

I did briefly consider the alternative of getting one of those 'cobbler shop window automatons' (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mzVmnKekPVs), and hooking-it-up to a hired-for-the-day Tesla (electric car, not dead inventor) for some extra ooommmph(!) and use it to beat on my skull. Could still be viable, and an appropriate video would quite likely 'go viral' thereby boosting my social media presence... and in being 'dead and popular' kill two birds with one stone (or, one man with one hammer).

Another option is to ask my neighbour for a lift to Sainsbury's - if the way in which he drives off to work in the morning is a reliable guide, I'll likely have had a heart attack within 50 yards. (Those lamposts must be adept at getting out of the way - I'm amazed he hasn't hit one yet.)

Ah, choices...

Edited by member 20 Aug 2018 at 21:34  | Reason: Incompetence.

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User
Posted 26 Jul 2018 at 11:52

I love your humour Gulliver, and also the fact that your adult daughter can share in it with you.

By all means keep the bucket list short - you'll get a wonderful sense of achievement there won't you if you come to the last one and can tick it off for yourself.

When the original list is complete why not think about a "bucket dip".

Put a lot of "I want to" ideas in a container and randomly pick one out.
Each one will be an extra to the original list and there won't be failure on your part!!!

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
User
Posted 26 Jul 2018 at 18:04

G

I was having a tish day today, catheter playing up, leaking like a sieve, hot  and sweaty around the catheter port and then another post, that put more than a smile on my face.

Thanks Chris

User
Posted 26 Jul 2018 at 23:20
s*** news about the bone scan - great to see you are still irreverent and highly amusing! Have fun with the bucket list!
User
Posted 28 Jul 2018 at 08:32

@Johsan

> I love your humour Gulliver, and also the fact that your adult daughter can share in it with you.

My thanks to you for your encouragement.


> When the original list is complete why not think about a "bucket dip".
Put a lot of "I want to" ideas in a container and randomly pick one out.

Excellent idea, and something I think can be helpful to 'anyone, anytime' regardless of their health. We can all benefit from appropriate self-indulgence.


--------------------

@colwickchris

> I was having a tish day today, catheter playing up, leaking like a sieve, hot and sweaty around the catheter port and then another post, that put more than a smile on my face.

Thankyou - I'm genuinely humbled by having helped brighten things. And, of course, my best wishes and hope to you.


--------------------

@francij1

>s*** news about the bone scan - great to see you are still irreverent and highly amusing!

Thanks.

I think though, 'the best is yet to come' and my upcoming CAT-scan may reveal my mutant cells have been quite active in terms of enjoying passage through my bloodstream.

 

> Have fun with the bucket list!

I shall do my best, although it clearly requires some moderation and better judgment on my part... having perhaps been too-greatly influenced by a recent Guardian article ('A heatwave is the perfect moment to rediscover the joys of being naked') which with 'let’s take advantage of the unusual temperatures to shake off some of our cold-climate prudishness' encourages exploration of the benefits of public nudity.

With hindsight, I can now appreciate that Sainsburys was not the best place to have embraced this (although they have always been a bit stuffy anyway, so maybe the fault is not entirely mine, and perhaps such minimal attire may be more acceptable when buying new pants at M&S).

In closing... having often enjoyed Willie Nelson, I'm delighted to have belatedly discovered this (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kn-AB78kvvE) from him. Could be the beginning of a plan.

I'm sorry that my contributions here are limited to quips and joviality. I've previously briefly tried being serious and posting accordingly, but it's not something I'm easily able to do.

I'm fortunate to apparently 'not care to much about being-terminally-f***ed' and so my hope is that through sharing my experiences in a relatively light-hearted manner I can be of at least some help to someone somewhere sometime.

 

Edited by member 28 Jul 2018 at 08:33  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 28 Jul 2018 at 09:18

Great song - something else sainsbury might get pissy about too!!

User
Posted 28 Jul 2018 at 11:47

Have you actually had a terminal prognosis? If not:

https://youtu.be/SJUhlRoBL8M

Edited by member 28 Jul 2018 at 11:48  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 28 Jul 2018 at 19:24

@Bollinge...

Your posting of that video is a likely sign of shared humour, in that my first post to this forum included 'That Monty Python 'always look on the bright side...' has just entered my thoughts. Probably not bad advice.'

(And no, I've not had a terminal prognosis, but as bone mets has a significantl incidence of 'demise' I'm simply looking ahead.)

:-)

User
Posted 30 Jul 2018 at 14:42
Love your sense of humour

I remember the Observer books and the birds was my favourite too.

I wish you the very best for the future whatever it may hold.

User
Posted 30 Jul 2018 at 17:15
Perhaps we could have badges for each procedure.....and multiple crossed through CT scan imojis (what ever they call them) like fighter pilots...I think I qualify as Ace in this category.

PS I deleted my first post but will post an intro next week..when I return from one off the bucket list

User
Posted 30 Jul 2018 at 18:43

@GaryN...

>Love your sense of humour.

I wish you the very best for the future whatever it may hold.

 

Thanks.

 

User
Posted 20 Aug 2018 at 10:00

You son, are a comic legend. I’ve been proper shoulder jigging at your hilariious posts  - I’ve screen shot lots  to read to my husband. 

I await your future posts with glee, 

Vicky xx 

Broken crayons still colour 

User
Posted 20 Aug 2018 at 10:36

@VickM14...

My thanks to you, for the kindness.

I consider myself fortunate to be thus-far relatively at-ease with 'impending early demise'... although if I listen to any more recent Bob Dylan albums, I think 'terminal boredom' [Can a death certificate state 'Bob Dylan record' as cause of death? I don't know.] will likely get me before the cancer completes its task.

And so if I can, through writing about what's happening to me, help raise a smile somewhere then I'm happy.

I wish you and your husband well.

:-)

User
Posted 20 Aug 2018 at 12:55

Dear gulliver,

My dad was an avid Dylan fan. My mom said Dylan sounded like a donkey farting down a trumpet.My niece sang ‘To make you feel my love’ at his funeral. It was so beautiful. I can’t listen to any Dylan without being an emotional wreck but yes, I reckon ‘death by Dylan‘ is quite common.

Vicky xx 

 

Broken crayons still colour 

User
Posted 20 Aug 2018 at 14:21

My friend in his seventies has low grade PCa and is on active surveillance. He is keen on voluntary euthanasia, and has researched it extensively, even attending conferences on the subject.

He says the answer is an efficacious vetinerary drug, (daren’t say the name here), easily available over the counter in Peru at local vet’s surgeries.

I said if the worst comes to the worst, you could go to Peru, tick the wonder of Macchu Picchu off your bucket list and then kick the bucket whilst you’re there!

Edited by member 20 Aug 2018 at 21:47  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 20 Aug 2018 at 14:52
If it's that blue sh1t the vet put my terminal Flat Coat "to sleep with" I think I would prefer to take my chances with the 9.30 out of Caersws!!
User
Posted 20 Aug 2018 at 18:40

@VickM14...

> My dad was an avid Dylan fan... sounded like a donkey farting down a trumpet... etcetera.


Over the years I've enjoyed much of his stuff... but increasingly less-so - doubtless due in part to my ageing and tastes changing. But, open-mindedly tolerant though I consider myself, I think the windy-assed ass and his blow-pipe might be a more musical (and enjoyable) alternative.

 


@Bollinge...

Nice 'bucket' pun, there. Kudos.


> My friend ... is keen on voluntary euthanasia.


'Honey, aren't we all.'

Seriously though (or as much as my warped mindset enables me to be so), such a topic might be a worthwhile thread (surely it's been frequently raised and discussed?).

Among the various self-terminate options 'a bottle of pento-b' (have you seen the bl**dy price of it nowadays?) is my terminal tipple of choice.

I did briefly consider the alternative of getting one of those 'cobbler shop window automatons' (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mzVmnKekPVs), and hooking-it-up to a hired-for-the-day Tesla (electric car, not dead inventor) for some extra ooommmph(!) and use it to beat on my skull. Could still be viable, and an appropriate video would quite likely 'go viral' thereby boosting my social media presence... and in being 'dead and popular' kill two birds with one stone (or, one man with one hammer).

Another option is to ask my neighbour for a lift to Sainsbury's - if the way in which he drives off to work in the morning is a reliable guide, I'll likely have had a heart attack within 50 yards. (Those lamposts must be adept at getting out of the way - I'm amazed he hasn't hit one yet.)

Ah, choices...

Edited by member 20 Aug 2018 at 21:34  | Reason: Incompetence.

 
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