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Sex and incontinence

Posted 22 Sep 2018 at 23:37

Hi everyone

Its 4 years now since the radical surgery to remove my prostate and save me from PC. Incontinence was a major issue for maybe 6 or so months after surgery. Using maybe 5-6 heavy duty pads a day, since then ive reduced that to 1 slim pad a day, with sometimes no warning of when the dribble may appear.

My wife has been my rock through this all and without her support and understanding things would have been so different.

We have had no sexual activity since prior the operation as I am so very concious that any manual stimulation downstairs encourages urine to flow no matter that ive been to the toilet immediately prior. It is maybe a little amount by to me psychologically i feel that it would be a torrent to my wife.

As anyone any advice on what they have done, or I should try? Maybe I should just bite the bullet and go for it, maybe im making too much out of nothing, although a man of 51 shouldnt be wetting the bed even if it is in the name of a proper physical relationship.

I guess what I am asking is HELP!

anyone experienced similar?



Posted 23 Sep 2018 at 10:03
Hi I’m 51 too and 3 1/2 yrs post op. Click my picture and read my journey. I’m more than happy to discuss all this with you, having been through it all , but it’s a bit intimate to share online I guess when it involves my wife also. I’d be willing to give you my number if that appeals. Let me know , or PM me your number if that appeals

If life gives you lemons , then make lemonade
Posted 23 Sep 2018 at 12:54
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard
Posted 23 Sep 2018 at 15:36
The injections seem to stop that problem, a cock ring helps too as does staying on your back 😀.
Think it's one of those things that improves with use too!!

I have been astounded by the tolerance shown by my wonderful other half, the only rule she makes is that I am not allowed to deliberately piss on her!! Some women are just spoil sports!!
Posted 27 Sep 2018 at 18:03
55 here and I've given up hope of ever having penetrative sex ever again. My wife is OK about this (says she is).
My last erection was two years ago, the day before my surgery.
I've tried on a few occasions to bring myself to orgasm with my shrunken, flaccid penis, but just as it starts, I spray pee all over the place.
This is, in my opinion, not very nice.
I'm not asking her anytime soon to try and "pleasure" me.
It'll end up with a bedding change and lots of embarrassment.

Seems we've ended up in a similar situation.

Sorry Marc, no advice but you're not on your own.
Posted 28 Sep 2018 at 08:56
That's a big sacrifice,. I found it just keeps getting better with use in all areas.

12 months ago I had to "clench" before a kiss never mind sex, now my continence has improved so I only have issues at orgasm and that is getting better too.

Try it in the bath or shower - it will be worth a few accidents if you can get a sex life back.
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