Following some really helpful advice a while ago, I thought I would come back and ask again.
My dad has now been in hospital for 6 weeks after a fall. He has then had various infections. He has not eaten very much at all before he went into hospital, but has eaten nothing at all for at least 3 weeks. He is still drinking fluids.
Three weeks ago he was going to be discharged with carers twice a day, but then fell getting out of bed.
He has now been fast tracked for CHC, due to be discharged today. This was after I specifically asked why this had not been done.There are some issues around this, but I am hopefully getting them sorted.
My question is, how will I know when he is close to dying, The hospital keep talking about "when he deteriorates", but this week he has been agitated, asking for his mum, asking where he is going and clinging on to family's hands (not usually an outwardly affectionate man, so really threw my brother when he started doing this). He asked my brother to help him die yesterday and seems really uncomfortable and in pain.
Each time I see him, I think that he is close to dying, but everyone at the hospital seems very dismissive. Everything that I've read seems to point to dad's behaviour as being near the end. They do say things like " you do know he's not going to get better" and yesterday a dietician came to see him, told him that not eating was "all in the mind" and then kindly told me and my brother that if he doesn't eat he will probably continue to lose weight.
No one tells us anything, we have to physically go and ask and then the attitude is a bit "well what exactly do you want to know?" I know hospitals are busy places, but there is no care or dignity in what is happening.
It's so distressing to watch