An unexpected diagnosis.

His surgeon gave him his number Franc. He also gave him a huge amount of time and answered all our questions clearly. We are arranging to speak to the surgeon again and feel confident about contacting him.

you said: "Tell your fella he has to deal with it, you are not his mother, if you push him down a path and it is a disaster he will blame you when it is him that should be making these important decisions with your support but not direction"

Absolutely. All I can do is support his decision, whatever that is and I have no intention of pushing him one way or the other. What I'm doing is giving him all the information I'm gathering so he can make a more informed choice and ask the right questions. 

I'm not overly concerned about his lack of urgency but I am inwardly worried that he's treating his cancer like its a slow growing blip contained within the prostate, when its very clearly gone beyond that. He's been told one thing by the surgeon and something else by the oncologist and he's clearly chosen to go along with what the surgeon said. Hopefully this next talk with a different oncologist is going to make things a lot clearer. 

It's great to hear Steve is feeling better about it all. I found accepting the diagnosis a challenge too but felt much better psychologically once I came to terms with it and had some ownership. I expect pretty much everyone has the same reaction. You should speak to the surgeon about whether it's OK to delay the surgery. They will be best placed to advise as they have all the facts. I delayed my surgery by a couple of weeks so I could go on a planned trip, I had the surgeon's full support but was advised against any further delay. I also wanted to get it over and done with once I knew this was the route I was taking. 

I know now that if I had delayed by another few months I would have faced a bigger problem and possibly it would have been too late to go the surgical route. That said one thing I have learnt is every case is different and all men have their own way of dealing with the diagnosis. No one way is the correct way.

I think I've said this before but Prostate UK can arrange for someone to call Steve who's had a similar diagnosis and been through the surgery. I spoke to a couple of guys and found it very helpful to chat openly about all aspects of the surgery and recovery.

Despite all this I hope you both mange to relax and have a good weekend.

Mike

Only just read that bit today, a double whammy - a Big C diagnosis, and at an ‘early’ age. I think there are a few here in their forties.

Cheers, J.

I’m single so didn’t have the benefit of partner support but I had great support from family and friends. There’s obviously compromises with whatever route you take but the main goal for me right now is to be cancer free.

My take from all this and hearing other people’s stories is once diagnosed it’s best to take action unless specifically advised against it by the team looking after you.

Hi guys, sorry I've not been around recently but because Steve had more or less decided to ignore things, I went to ground and got myself all depressed. The good news is, he's having the operation on Wednesday. He will be home (hopefully) after two nights in hospital.  

He’ll feel a bit shell shocked straight afterwards but hopefully a big sense of relief too. wishing you guys all the best of luck. 

Best of luck tomorrow. Hope all goes well.

Phil

The surgeon called me whilst he was in recovery and was pleased with the outcome. He had thought he'd have to remove the nerves from at least one side but the intraoperative frozen section showed no cancer in either nerve cavity so all the nerves have been preserved.

Anyway, he's sat up in bed, relieved but sore. Very happy with the outcome so far.

So pleased for you both. And hope for a good recovery. Please keep us updated on Steve’s condition .

Good luck

Phil