I too was very scared of surgery but in hindsight the fear was all in my head. You fall asleep, you wake up. You move on to dealing with the recuparation. The latter does involve some work as immediate issues are a catheter and usually gas swollen testicles but you deal with it. Longer term involves ED and continence rehab. Both just require hard work and persistence.
I was less scared about salvage RT but more uncertain and confused as it was not something I have banked on and had not my head around the idea as much. Again though, it was all in my head. You turn up, you take your enema, you pee and poo, you lay on the machine, big noisy machines wizz round you for a few minutes, you get up and go home. 7 weeks of this and you ring the bell to say "done". Owing in part to fact that it takes 7 weeks of daily trips to the hospital, the hormone treatment and post RT fatigue, in many ways the RT was harder. At least with the surgery the majority of the time I was affected, I was at home. That being said, I had no RT side effects (as yet) so cannot complain.
The bottom line though with both is that all my fears were groundless and reality was far more mundane and just hard work more than anything. Yes, there are risks but statistically you stand more chance of getting hit by a bus on the way to the hospital. The key thing is to research, talk to your medical staff, make sure they have the hands on hours, ask questions, gert as fit as you can, decide and then dive in.
Honest truth is that I would choose surgery as the intial treatment again because that meant I could have salvage RT / HT afterwards. Doing it the other way around is playing the game on "very hard" mode.