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An embarrassing question

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User
Posted 09 Nov 2018 at 20:49

Today an oncologist told my husband and me, that because there would be no nerve sparing during his treatment, he wouldn't only lose ED (which of course has assistance remedies) but would lose all of the sensation too. He basically told him that the only person he'd be able to satisfy is me. 

Having got home and put my head back in Patrick Walsh's book "How to survive prostate cancer", he clearly says that the nerves surrounding the prostate are not the same nerves that give penile sensation during sex and that those nerves are buried deep within the pelvis. 

So who is right... Patrick Walsh or my husbands oncologist?

User
Posted 10 Nov 2018 at 00:37

Your husband can use injections for erections  he can have dry orgasms.  It’s not totally the same but it’s not all doom and gloom.

User
Posted 10 Nov 2018 at 00:55
The onco sounds like an idiot
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 10 Nov 2018 at 01:05
Important to be realistic though when you say "which of course has assistance remedies" - tablets like viagra and cialis will not work if he has non nerve sparing and the injections and pellets only work for about half of men. Also, the best treatment in the world can do nothing to replace ejaculation or their sense of self.
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 10 Nov 2018 at 04:29

Nothing embarrassing about it at all!

I currently have a truncated limp dick, even though the nerves were spared on one side, so we live in hope! The original surgeon wanted to rip the whole lot out. It can take up to two years to recover, so I am looking forward to rampant sex sometime around 2020.

I can still orgasm, with no ejaculate, obviously, and the sensation is not as intense as before as others here will confirm, but it’s still pleasurable.

I am shortly to become the proud possessor of a SOMAerect penis pump, as Matron puts it, ‘purely for exercise’. It will be like taking little Willy to the gym.

Don’t know if I will have to go for a bespoke fitting on Savile Row - but my tailor won’t need to ask ‘Which side do you dress, Sir?’ any more, and I doubt I’ll need the ‘XLL Cylinder, Wide Penile Diameter, 11” available on request’ model in the brochure!

Hope it all works out for the best in the end.

Cheers, John

Edited by member 10 Nov 2018 at 05:11  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 10 Nov 2018 at 07:28
Here’s an honest answer. After surgery most men are left with a very poorly pathetic looking cold manhood and it stays that way for a long long time. Daily Cialis can improve blood flow to the area and the use of a pump is essential almost daily to keep him healthy. My erectiins returned nearly 2 yrs on. I’m not sure of your sexual inclinations but even that very poorly cold penis reacts really well to oral sex and orgasms can be achieved very quickly after surgery. Mine were weird and tingly to start with but came goodin the end with squeezingbut no ejaculate. Not many men or women know that an orgasm can be had with a completely soft penis !!
User
Posted 10 Nov 2018 at 07:54

M 

The following link should take you to an extract from a book, if you can manage the technique of flaccid intercourse it can be out of the world for both of you. The only advice is keep the windows shut during the activities. Some guys do say that post op the penis get over sensative to the point of being painful.

https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=jsU3IsgiaO8C&pg=PA128&lpg=PA128&dq=flaccid+intercourse&source=bl&ots=wJ8mULBf13&sig=U_N4brnNLaBa1Bs5ZZZjy3QspUc&hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiGgMuQqsneAhWxzoUKHbAXAqcQ6AEwCXoECAIQAQ#v=onepage&q=flaccid%20intercourse&f=false

Thanks Chris

Edited by member 10 Nov 2018 at 07:55  | Reason: Spelling

User
Posted 10 Nov 2018 at 10:03
Hi Maria,

Check out Retzius-sparing prostatectomy, and the Professor who does it. He’s the guy that owes me 2” but who probably saved my life.

Cheers, John.

User
Posted 10 Nov 2018 at 13:26

You'll get told off for mentioning his name on here, so please delete that bit.

His private consultations cost £250 at his rooms in The Shard Building. The best 250 quid I've ever spent.

Cheers John.

Show Most Thanked Posts
User
Posted 10 Nov 2018 at 00:37

Your husband can use injections for erections  he can have dry orgasms.  It’s not totally the same but it’s not all doom and gloom.

User
Posted 10 Nov 2018 at 00:55
The onco sounds like an idiot
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 10 Nov 2018 at 01:05
Important to be realistic though when you say "which of course has assistance remedies" - tablets like viagra and cialis will not work if he has non nerve sparing and the injections and pellets only work for about half of men. Also, the best treatment in the world can do nothing to replace ejaculation or their sense of self.
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 10 Nov 2018 at 04:29

Nothing embarrassing about it at all!

I currently have a truncated limp dick, even though the nerves were spared on one side, so we live in hope! The original surgeon wanted to rip the whole lot out. It can take up to two years to recover, so I am looking forward to rampant sex sometime around 2020.

I can still orgasm, with no ejaculate, obviously, and the sensation is not as intense as before as others here will confirm, but it’s still pleasurable.

I am shortly to become the proud possessor of a SOMAerect penis pump, as Matron puts it, ‘purely for exercise’. It will be like taking little Willy to the gym.

Don’t know if I will have to go for a bespoke fitting on Savile Row - but my tailor won’t need to ask ‘Which side do you dress, Sir?’ any more, and I doubt I’ll need the ‘XLL Cylinder, Wide Penile Diameter, 11” available on request’ model in the brochure!

Hope it all works out for the best in the end.

Cheers, John

Edited by member 10 Nov 2018 at 05:11  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 10 Nov 2018 at 07:28
Here’s an honest answer. After surgery most men are left with a very poorly pathetic looking cold manhood and it stays that way for a long long time. Daily Cialis can improve blood flow to the area and the use of a pump is essential almost daily to keep him healthy. My erectiins returned nearly 2 yrs on. I’m not sure of your sexual inclinations but even that very poorly cold penis reacts really well to oral sex and orgasms can be achieved very quickly after surgery. Mine were weird and tingly to start with but came goodin the end with squeezingbut no ejaculate. Not many men or women know that an orgasm can be had with a completely soft penis !!
User
Posted 10 Nov 2018 at 07:54

M 

The following link should take you to an extract from a book, if you can manage the technique of flaccid intercourse it can be out of the world for both of you. The only advice is keep the windows shut during the activities. Some guys do say that post op the penis get over sensative to the point of being painful.

https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=jsU3IsgiaO8C&pg=PA128&lpg=PA128&dq=flaccid+intercourse&source=bl&ots=wJ8mULBf13&sig=U_N4brnNLaBa1Bs5ZZZjy3QspUc&hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiGgMuQqsneAhWxzoUKHbAXAqcQ6AEwCXoECAIQAQ#v=onepage&q=flaccid%20intercourse&f=false

Thanks Chris

Edited by member 10 Nov 2018 at 07:55  | Reason: Spelling

User
Posted 10 Nov 2018 at 08:07
Thanks for all your very honest replies.

Its interesting that you had nerves spared on one side John. We re-looked at the scans yesterday and clearly (and the oncologist agreed) it would be possible to spare the nerves on one side but he then shook his head and said they just wouldn't be prepared to do it and it should all be removed as a precautionary measure. I've been reading up a lot about this and it seems that UK surgeons are particularly keen to take the lot, even if there is no cancer in that nerve cavity.

I love your sense of humor btw :)

I honestly didn't know that a man could orgasm without a hard on Chris. So clearly the destroying of nerves surrounding the prostate doesn't put an end to all pleasure.

Thanks for the link colwickchris. I'll order that book today.

User
Posted 10 Nov 2018 at 10:03
Hi Maria,

Check out Retzius-sparing prostatectomy, and the Professor who does it. He’s the guy that owes me 2” but who probably saved my life.

Cheers, John.

User
Posted 10 Nov 2018 at 12:51

Thanks John, it looks like I'm going to be some time reading all about this procedure. Who was your professor?

Ah its okay I found him... Looks like it may be worth making a private appointment with him. I used to live in Guildford!

Edited by member 10 Nov 2018 at 17:02  | Reason: Mention of Dr's name

User
Posted 10 Nov 2018 at 13:26

You'll get told off for mentioning his name on here, so please delete that bit.

His private consultations cost £250 at his rooms in The Shard Building. The best 250 quid I've ever spent.

Cheers John.

User
Posted 11 Nov 2018 at 09:42

I tried to send you a private message John but your mail box is full.

 
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