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Loss of sex drive and performance anx

User
Posted 27 Nov 2018 at 18:37

Hi all

im now around 9 months after having permanent seed brachytherapy. Treatment went really well and my psa is now down to 0.93.

however I’m really having problems with sexual performance. its been on and off over the last few months, but ive really lost my sex drive and although I’m on cialis, I’m struggling with keeping erections.

this in turn has lead to me getting worsening performance anxiety when having sex with my wife, which is leading to me wanting sex less. This is starting to affect our relationship which is the last thing I want, as she’s been so supportive.

when I last saw my consultant he said erection problems were to be expected as my body is now going through healing process, but that it should improve. I get this, however it’s still getting frustrating and because I’m now worrying about it, I’m concerned I’ve got myself into a vicious cycle.

i feel I need to talk to someone, maybe a counsellor so I can talk all this through. im in the surrey/Greater London area. Does anyone have any recommendations or words of wisdom?

many thanks

 

User
Posted 27 Nov 2018 at 20:11
Your prostate has been permanently irradiated which is damaging the nerves and hence erections. It shouldn’t really affect desire , but maybe fatigue and or depression is ?? I didn’t have RT but had full surgery. I lost useable erections for a very long time and tried virtually everything on the market. If you don’t have the drive or desire , then Cialis won’t work. Do you have a vacuum pump ? Could you ask to see an ED clinic ? Would you inject the side of your penis ( far easier than it sounds ) ? Everyone is different I know , but my wife and I had a whole bundle of fun after accepting that proper erections weren’t going to be around for a good while. There are many many ways to have fun without a human erection and loads of gadgets to be explored and enjoyed etc. Acceptance may be the key for you at the moment and councillor is a great idea. I know a lady whose hubby had Brachy and his erections recovered again after a while

If life gives you lemons , then make lemonade

User
Posted 27 Nov 2018 at 20:14
It’s not a counsellor you need. Ask the GP whether there is an ED nurse or andrology clinic in your area and if there is, get a referral. Cialis isn’t going to work if you have lost your libido. Getting cancer can kill libido, it is a grief thing. An ED specialist will understand all that and help you work out what might help.

Are you on hormones?

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 28 Nov 2018 at 06:21
Have you tried one of "Chris's rings" ie a Durex cock ring?

If you are having "deflation" issues that cause you to drop out or otherwise doubt yourself then a cock ring really will help.

I had all sorts of s*** going on and those little rubber rings have saved my sex life. Otherwise I had a viscous cycle of failure emerging, where lack of performance impacted my ability to orgasm which in turn made me think "is it worth the effort" which affects libido etc.

Just having that little rubber "prop" breaks the cycle for me, so much so we can even have a "quicky" occasionally!!!

User
Posted 28 Nov 2018 at 06:33
I even have one in the wee money pocket on my jeans should the mood take us ;-))

If life gives you lemons , then make lemonade

User
Posted 28 Nov 2018 at 07:42
Chris/francij1

Durex do several rings.Some vibrate etc.. Do you mean the basic durex pleasure ring, (5.99 on amazon)?

Nearly two years since RARP and using daily ciallis and viagra a few times a week but only getting 50% or so. Waiting for ED appointment to try MUSE or injections but due to staff shotages nothing in the near future.

All the best to you all

Cheers

Bill

User
Posted 28 Nov 2018 at 08:04

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member
I even have one in the wee money pocket on my jeans should the mood take us ;-))

A bit like our teenage years when we carried condoms in our wallets just in case and all we ever ended up with was the imprint in wallets 😂😂

User
Posted 28 Nov 2018 at 09:57
Lol. Yes it’s just the basic clear pleasure ring. Non vibrating. It can genuinely turn a 60% into a 90%.

If you get really stuck you have to guide your own recovery if it’s really important to you. I use the online clinic for Invicorp25 injections occasionally. You should be shown how to inject essentially , but the instructions are foolproof. You must check with GP if existing conditions prevent you from using stuff , and never mix drugs within 24 hrs. I’m lucky I was financially ok to purchase and try all these things. My ED clinic was rubbish too tbh

If life gives you lemons , then make lemonade

User
Posted 28 Nov 2018 at 10:33
Men's jeans have a little money pocket?
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 28 Nov 2018 at 11:57
The change pocket at the top of the right pocket. Perfect fit lol

If life gives you lemons , then make lemonade

User
Posted 28 Nov 2018 at 12:15
And is it always on the right or does it depend :-)
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 28 Nov 2018 at 12:21
Always on the right !! Doesn’t john wear jeans ? x

If life gives you lemons , then make lemonade

User
Posted 28 Nov 2018 at 20:41
Yep , still don’t get it ??

If life gives you lemons , then make lemonade

User
Posted 28 Nov 2018 at 21:04
🤣 🤦‍♀️
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 28 Nov 2018 at 22:59
I am a Geordie, sir, and proud of it.
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 29 Nov 2018 at 00:08
Geordie even worse!

Always wondered what that little pocket was for!

Re injections the main reason you need the training is so they can put the fear of God into you about what to do if you have a priapism, well what to do after you have got bored with your 3 hour hard-on!

User
Posted 29 Nov 2018 at 00:12
Blimey you lot, do you need a tailor 😊
User
Posted 29 Nov 2018 at 08:12

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member
Geordie even worse!

Always wondered what that little pocket was for!

Re injections the main reason you need the training is so they can put the fear of God into you about what to do if you have a priapism, well what to do after you have got bored with your 3 hour hard-on!

 

Having sat with John in A&E at 4am while they debated whether to try blood letting with a very large syringe (and handled the giggles and odd looks from A&E staff who apoarently found it hilarious) I can confirm that priapism is painful and humiliating and should be avoided if possible. 

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

 
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