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Slow painful recovery after RP

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User
Posted 29 Dec 2018 at 17:17

before RP was booked , i asked surgeon and specialist nurse how much time i needed to take off from work to care for hubby following surgery 

none was their reply 

well either they are bare faced liars or my husbsnd is a rare case ! 

since his surgery on the 18th dec   three days in hospital

he requires FULL TIME CARE! 

from pain to leaking catherter   clots in cathater   unable to empty his own cathater

 

PLEASE tell spouses the TRUTH !    its a long difficult, smelly, upsetting,  embarrassing  painful recovery!  

OR are we unusal ?  

User
Posted 29 Dec 2018 at 21:05
It’s major surgery and yes, recovery after such surgery is both long and painful. He should not, however, need full-time care - there are innumerable men on here who live alone and manage their recovery just fine on their own after discharge from hospital. What is it specifically that he’s unable to do himself? People may well be able to offer practical advice if we know more details of the specific issues he’s facing.

All the best,

Chris

User
Posted 29 Dec 2018 at 22:17

Many men live alone, though, and have nobody to look after them except themselves. You just have to cope in such circumstances. It's lovely to have someone to look after you, but not everyone has someone who can do so.

Chris

Edited by member 29 Dec 2018 at 22:19  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 04 Jan 2019 at 14:43

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member

Can anyone seriously get those compression socks on and off themselves?  

Yes - if you live alone, you manage. But I will certainly agree that it's easier with help smile.

I only wore them for a few days after my surgery. I figured that once I was up and about at home, I was unlikely to get DVT, particularly with the daily stomach injections, too (which resulted in spectacular bruises for me!).

Chris

 

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User
Posted 29 Dec 2018 at 20:13

Sorry i can’t answer your questions as my husband did not have an RP. i know Michelle has a thread from hers husbands RP at the start of December that might be of interest.

i am sure someone who can help more than i can will come along with more helpful words but i can ’bounce’ Michelles thread as it might  be of interest.

fingers crossed they sort you.

regards

Clate

User
Posted 29 Dec 2018 at 21:05
It’s major surgery and yes, recovery after such surgery is both long and painful. He should not, however, need full-time care - there are innumerable men on here who live alone and manage their recovery just fine on their own after discharge from hospital. What is it specifically that he’s unable to do himself? People may well be able to offer practical advice if we know more details of the specific issues he’s facing.

All the best,

Chris

User
Posted 29 Dec 2018 at 21:30

deleted

Edited by member 30 Dec 2018 at 17:51  | Reason: Not specified

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 29 Dec 2018 at 22:17

Many men live alone, though, and have nobody to look after them except themselves. You just have to cope in such circumstances. It's lovely to have someone to look after you, but not everyone has someone who can do so.

Chris

Edited by member 29 Dec 2018 at 22:19  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 30 Dec 2018 at 07:34
My experience post op was that it was pretty straight forward, the catheter bag was easy to empty straight down the loo.

Other than taking it easy there was little drama until I was rushed back in with sepsis..

Why are you having to do all the emptying?? If he is bed bound I would say he should be back in hospital as that is not right.

User
Posted 30 Dec 2018 at 09:07

I had a few days of work when my husband came home from hospital but after his catheter came out I went back to work as I only work morning, he took it easy and everyday we would go for a wee walk, everybody pain and recovery is different, its best to a little each day and take it slowly. It is major surgery and he should feel better when he has his catheter removed.

User
Posted 30 Dec 2018 at 09:13

Reading the different forums it is clear that there are a wide range of experiences. Have you been in touch with the local incontinent nurses? I am sure they would be happy to help with catheter issues.  Those first days can be a bit of a shock but if you can get those sorted out day by day he will feel better and the pain gets easier too.  I found the incontinence can take longer to resolve itself; and it is quite common to have  some blood showing.  Try to chat to someone, the nurses at Prostate UK are also very helpful.  

User
Posted 04 Jan 2019 at 12:16

Hello

Totally agree with the lack of realistic information and advice - not restricted to your topic, but a general problem.  Just what is "normal?" has been my most frequent question.

My wife took 2 weeks off after my RALP and re-addmittance for 5 days with heamatoma and infection.  I was enormously grateful for her help and support - both practical and emotional.  Can anyone seriously get those compression socks on and off themselves?   It will get better, but it does take time.  The first week is by far the worst.

The catheter thing gets easier and I could empty it myself down the loo shortly before removal at 2 weeks.  

 

User
Posted 04 Jan 2019 at 14:43

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member

Can anyone seriously get those compression socks on and off themselves?  

Yes - if you live alone, you manage. But I will certainly agree that it's easier with help smile.

I only wore them for a few days after my surgery. I figured that once I was up and about at home, I was unlikely to get DVT, particularly with the daily stomach injections, too (which resulted in spectacular bruises for me!).

Chris

 

User
Posted 05 Jan 2019 at 00:03

Sorry to hear that your husband has been suffering...I live on my own and I have got  only two good friends who lives 10 minutes away from me..With their help I managed OK.

I had the same surgery as your husband did. ..on the 6th of December than 2 days after that I was discharged from the hospital with out given any medicines at all apart spare catheter bags and injections, I was told that I must buy from the community paracetamol and Iburphone..Indoors I had panadol ...that's because of I was discharged from the hospital 6 pm and everywhere was dark by the time I got back to my flat after a very long journey (because of London is full of with inexperienced taxi drivers who relay only their stupid sat nav and still theu cannot find their actuall route!) I arrived to my flat on a cold evening. It was my worse night since I was d discharged from the hospital honestly.I was on my own.I was trying to get sleep but I was scared of if  night time during the bags gets full and not able to have wee than get infections etc. 

Because of that reason I had to sleep on my sofa  for 2 weeks.couldnt turn left or right. 

Even one night I woke up by pain in my genetical organ because of after I attached the night bag to day bag I forgot to turn it on the tap thing. 

One day I made wet my duvet etc. 

Any way because of I had no paracetamol and Iburphone those prescribed by the nurse before I was discharged from the hospital ,Whole weekend I was suffering so badly..than Monday I had to beg a friend of mine to bring me those medicines so he got them for me late afternoon on Monday 

Yes I wouldnt wish those kind of pains to nobody 

I couldn't cook or eat decent meals too.

Thankfully the guys from here many ...of them like Cheshire Chris and the rest spiritual ways they supported me. 

So I should say your husband is a very lucky guy to have a good friend /wife like you .

 

Wish him a Quick recovery 

D.R

P.s.Im a foreigner and I do not have any members of family in the UK ..in my  birth country have a  sister whom is in 24/7 care any way. 

User
Posted 07 Jan 2019 at 21:58

It does sound Reenmatch as if your husband has been particularly unlucky.

The first few days back home after the operation were definitely difficult for me, but I coped. Psychologically though it is difficult to imagine how much worse it would have felt without the knowledge my wife and daughter would be around later. Hats off to those who have managed on their own.

User
Posted 07 Jan 2019 at 23:02
Hello Reenmatch.

So!

You are not unusual.

"They" are not liars.

You do seem to have been at the unlucky end of the lucky line when it comes to the operation outcome. As I may have been also?

This is all about your situation, but my RRP short term was - discharged at 1630 on Day 3 after RRP, back to hospital at 1930. In hospital for a further 3 days.

The issue is that no one man is affected the same way.

Hang on in, keep the faith, do all that you can to make the recovery as good as it can be.

NHS staff do all that they can with what little resources they have, and mostly this works well.

ate

dave

All we can do - is do all that we can.

So, do all you can to help yourself, then make the best of your time. :-)

I am the statistic.

 
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