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User
Posted 03 Jan 2019 at 23:34

Hi All

Had RP last December the 6th than the horrible monster catheter came off on the 20th, 

Since than using only one single day pad and night time only one nappy:)

I found day pad is more managable. 

Anyway I got few issues but my main concern is SEX LIFE!!!! 

Before the operation I had a great sex life m

Never had any pains down there none of my relatives diagnosed with PC apart my older bro rather he passed away re colon cancer

Before the operation I never woken up for the bathroom duties night time at all. 

Last april I spoke to my GP mentioned her about having feeling that not to fully empty my bladder than she refereed me to MRI  (magic monster)

That came out something malignancy than had biopsy that came out 3+4 =7 

So had to go ahead with RP 

but my sex life is zero now yes almost a month after I had the RP maybe I'm a bit pessimistic but NHS says you can masturbate when you feel it 

Some people on here says don,t be hurry but don't be too late either. (Confussed)

I been masturbating. Almost everyday since the cathere out ...it's not that I eat drink dream or think of sex all the time..it's just I don't wish my penis to get shrink that's all.

I Have a Girl friend very open minded one but I don't wish to force her when I'm not physically 100% well.

Poor fella has lost some part of his body anyway 

So .....Question is Which is the best way to be cured to get back to have normal sex life again?

Pump?

Viagra?

Both?

Or none?

I feel was suicadele this morning. .honestly if I knew that I was going to be like this live like a monk ..No away I wouldn't go ahead with the operation. 

OK I'm not a young man (age of 55) but I cannot imagine to given up of sex life at age 55 even 65!!!

Also if you suggest that pump would be beneficial than where shall I get them..I don't want to go to Soho and get it from the porn shops?

Please please please .do you any of you have any idea is there guarantee for my normal sex life to come back?

My follow up appointment will be at beginning of February. 

Thank you all in  advance  for your kindness 

X

 

Edited by member 06 Jan 2019 at 23:11  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 04 Jan 2019 at 10:39

I am afraid no one can give you any guarantees. But I think lots of people on this site will reassure you that it is completely normal for there to be no recovery of erectile function in the first month. Basically, even if the surgeon "spared" the nerves supplying the erectile tissue they will still be too bruised by the operation to work properly at that stage.

There are fuller explanations in the excellent Prostate Cancer UK booklets, but the essence is that there are two of these crucial nerves running either side of the prostate. If the surgeon simply cuts top and bottom of the prostate to remove it, these nerves will be cut too. What makes things difficult is that the nerves are microscopically small, not visible to the surgeon during the operation. What needs to be done is to leave a very thin bit of the prostate surface behind where the nerves are expected to be. It is a real feat of surgical skill (it has been described as like keeping a bit of wet tissue paper intact while peeling off what is attached to it) and while no surgeon will guarantee success they usually pride themselves on doing their best.

In my case only one nerve was spared (the pathology suggested there was too much risk of the cancer having spread all the way to the prostate surface on the other side) and erections returned eventually but it took 6-9 months. At one of my follow up appointments the specialist nurse discussed the issue and gave me a letter for my GP requesting a prescription for a pump and daily tadalafil tablets. Tadalafil is a drug in the Viagra family, but in this case it is used in daily low doses not really to aid erections as such but more to improve the blood flow to the erectile tissue in the penis to speed up recovery. The pump is for stretching tissues which have tightened in the period there have been no erections – I found it was quite painful at first and it wouldn't stretch very far, but over a period of weeks I was able to achieve the normal erect size again with the pump. After that natural erections slowly became possible, though in my case with only 50% of the nerves remaining I have to say it takes more stimulation and never quite reaches 100% of the old "hardness". However it means my sex life has resumed.

If your surgeon spared both nerves, you will have a good chance of your sex life getting back to normal, but you will need to be patient and press to get the advice and prescriptions.

User
Posted 04 Jan 2019 at 20:54

It was only days ago that you were complaining about your terrible pain but remarkably you are now focused on your sex life. I would of thought that would be the last thing on your mind at the moment. Also may I compliment you in that your English grammari is improving by the day.

But rest assured I will not be posting on your threads again.

All the best for the future.

Edited by member 05 Jan 2019 at 11:22  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 05 Jan 2019 at 11:56

Darkrainbow don't be offended if a lot of people read your post but don't respond.  It will be because they don't have the relevant knowledge or experience to be able to help you.  It's far better to get a couple of responses from people who know what they are talking about rather than loads of unhelpful comments.     Hopefully things will improve for you soon.

User
Posted 19 Feb 2019 at 21:27

Hi, I am a little older than yourself aged 65yrs, had my surgery on the 13th December 2018 and the catheter removed on the 20th December 2018. Like yourself sexually active before surgery and keen to remain doing so. I have been fortunate so far in that I am a keen sports person and have got back to running at 5weeks post surgery.

Nerves have been spared and Having read how important it was to encourage blood flow to th e penis purchased a pump and visited my gp who prescribed sildenafil. I have been advised by the Specialist Nurse to use the pump daily with the sole purpose of encouraging blood flow (not just for sex) a muscle exerciser. We have had success and been intimate and I can feel life returning. whilst I am keen I also know its a marathon and not a sprint and want my penis rehab to be forever!! 

I have experienced orgasms which are deeper and with great feeling,fantastic. 

User
Posted 11 Mar 2019 at 23:02

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member

Also I'm just imaging my self that I'm in bed with my partner after sweet times kissing etc.I  say to her  ..Darling give me a minute or so..! .than I use pump to get erection than resume for the lovely times...:) sound is not natural ....I wonder that whilst me pumping my poor fella in the pump what would my partner will think? Or do? Text a friend?or read a book? Or watch one of those  Jason bourne movies.

Thank you 

D.R

 

Or maybe your partner will do intimate things to you and make your joint experience out of this world.

Thanks Chris

User
Posted 04 Jan 2019 at 17:18

Unfortunately, it does seen that as men reach their fifties on an increasing scale upwards of 25% of men suffer ED and that's due to a number of factors but Prostatectomy is going to add to the risk. See here what it says about masturbation. https://www.webmd.com/erectile-dysfunction/masturbation-erectile-dysfunction

 

Edited by member 04 Jan 2019 at 17:20  | Reason: To hightight link

Barry
User
Posted 05 Jan 2019 at 11:23

In answer to your query Darkrainbow, I used the pump most days when I first got it (not every day, I didn't take it along if I was away visiting). To begin with the effect was underwhelming, the tissues of the penis had obviously tightened up a lot after the operation and hurt when stretched. However millimetre by millimetre the achievable size increased.

Natural erections followed on behind, though I began to feel "stirrings" without visible size change a month or two after the operation.

If you hunt through the older threads on this site you will find advice from those who struggled to achieve usable natural erections but were able to use the pump to maintain sex life within their relationship.

There seems to be a huge range of individual experiences, and those who were unable to have either nerve preserved had a high risk of never re-achieving erections (though a few report success). I have read a claim that men having the most active sex lives before the operation have the best prospects for rapid recovery, so fingers crossed for you.

User
Posted 27 Feb 2019 at 22:46

HI , it seems we are in similar boat re our surgery etc. I had RP near 3 months ago. i am 51 this year 3+4 gleason core . My urge for sex is there. Obvously theres a healing period which i think 6 weeks is enough b4 can try to get blood flowing into penis i was told so it doesnt shrink etc. I was given a pump which i use few times a week just as a exercise to keep blood flowing so to avoid scar tissue forming in penis.  i still havent had sexual intercourse but hasnt stopped me having fun with my partner and i still get orgasms (dry ones) even though once there was some fluid. But i havent had orgasm yet with a erection. But now i am being given prescription for the penile injections, which i am told will be very effective in getting a erection. The pump i found so far doesnt quite give it a full hard on but maybe thats becuase its early days and i dont want to keep pumping becuase it gets a little uncomfrotable, but im not worried cos i was only using it for rehab lol. Going to hosp this week for them to show me how to use the injection so looking forward to a proper erection. Later i will try viagra too to see if any nerves have come back , even though it was a non nerve sparing surgery, but you never know. I know how it feels to worry about your sx life is why i took the time to reply. Let me know how you get on. Whats was your gleason score and pathology report after the surgery and what was your psa before surgery and after. Regards 

User
Posted 11 Mar 2019 at 21:37

Hi Ezza 

Glad to hear that your so positive and full of with Energy. 

Yes this website is so great very helpful it's full of with saint's. I think they spend their energy for people like you and me here.

Until I joined here had no idea about Prostate related illness..still have not though but  my fault not theirs.i learned a lots from them .

Anyway...Good luck to you for your new relationship. I'm sure it will create colourful life style for you.

Don't worry about ED.your not even 50 years old so naturally you have more chance being a tiger than us oldies )

Cheers 

D.R

Show Most Thanked Posts
User
Posted 04 Jan 2019 at 10:39

I am afraid no one can give you any guarantees. But I think lots of people on this site will reassure you that it is completely normal for there to be no recovery of erectile function in the first month. Basically, even if the surgeon "spared" the nerves supplying the erectile tissue they will still be too bruised by the operation to work properly at that stage.

There are fuller explanations in the excellent Prostate Cancer UK booklets, but the essence is that there are two of these crucial nerves running either side of the prostate. If the surgeon simply cuts top and bottom of the prostate to remove it, these nerves will be cut too. What makes things difficult is that the nerves are microscopically small, not visible to the surgeon during the operation. What needs to be done is to leave a very thin bit of the prostate surface behind where the nerves are expected to be. It is a real feat of surgical skill (it has been described as like keeping a bit of wet tissue paper intact while peeling off what is attached to it) and while no surgeon will guarantee success they usually pride themselves on doing their best.

In my case only one nerve was spared (the pathology suggested there was too much risk of the cancer having spread all the way to the prostate surface on the other side) and erections returned eventually but it took 6-9 months. At one of my follow up appointments the specialist nurse discussed the issue and gave me a letter for my GP requesting a prescription for a pump and daily tadalafil tablets. Tadalafil is a drug in the Viagra family, but in this case it is used in daily low doses not really to aid erections as such but more to improve the blood flow to the erectile tissue in the penis to speed up recovery. The pump is for stretching tissues which have tightened in the period there have been no erections – I found it was quite painful at first and it wouldn't stretch very far, but over a period of weeks I was able to achieve the normal erect size again with the pump. After that natural erections slowly became possible, though in my case with only 50% of the nerves remaining I have to say it takes more stimulation and never quite reaches 100% of the old "hardness". However it means my sex life has resumed.

If your surgeon spared both nerves, you will have a good chance of your sex life getting back to normal, but you will need to be patient and press to get the advice and prescriptions.

User
Posted 04 Jan 2019 at 17:18

Unfortunately, it does seen that as men reach their fifties on an increasing scale upwards of 25% of men suffer ED and that's due to a number of factors but Prostatectomy is going to add to the risk. See here what it says about masturbation. https://www.webmd.com/erectile-dysfunction/masturbation-erectile-dysfunction

 

Edited by member 04 Jan 2019 at 17:20  | Reason: To hightight link

Barry
User
Posted 04 Jan 2019 at 20:14

J-B

I thank you so much for your kindness taking time and responding .I really really appreciated honestly. 

Seems countless people read my post /thread but only 2 people responded ...how hypocritical!

Some people one here they post the way they having oral sex with their partners and they gets 100,s respond me..because of I focused on sex subject only the respond get from you and from another considered and helpful gentleman Barry!

Anyway. I 've read your respond and will save it so I can read over over again and showed to my GP!

May I ask you that  daily how many times you used pump?or weekly? Yes next month I have got a follow up appointment but still would be nice to ask for your opinion. 

many many thanks again

D.R 

Edited by member 04 Jan 2019 at 20:16  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 04 Jan 2019 at 20:19

Good Evening Barry 

Please accept my apologies for not responding sooner. 

I thank you for your comments. 

I already checked the link that you ve forwarded to me.

Your link has given me so much info plus your words very valuable for me.

Warm Regards 

D.R

User
Posted 04 Jan 2019 at 20:47

Maybe people don't post because they think you are a troll. 

User
Posted 04 Jan 2019 at 20:51

Why do you have to be like that? What kind of pleasure do you get with insulting to people?

I'm not going to drop my self to your level and insult you.just get a life. ..If don't say anything nice say nothing..your not going to gain anything with your nasty comments!

 

User
Posted 04 Jan 2019 at 20:53

Barry. ....

BLIMEY!!!! YOUR A SUPERMAN!!! what a profile you have....Ohhh I thought I have got a problem!!

I'm sorry That you been going through very difficult times so long!

DR

User
Posted 04 Jan 2019 at 20:54

It was only days ago that you were complaining about your terrible pain but remarkably you are now focused on your sex life. I would of thought that would be the last thing on your mind at the moment. Also may I compliment you in that your English grammari is improving by the day.

But rest assured I will not be posting on your threads again.

All the best for the future.

Edited by member 05 Jan 2019 at 11:22  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 04 Jan 2019 at 21:19

I'm really sorry That if I offended you 

But I wasn't being horrible towards to Anybody  with my comments. 

Yes your right I have been complaining about my pains (recently)but everybody said (even via private message) it's a marathon thing not a sprint! Long term process. 

So I stopped asking people about the reason of the pains .

So instead I focus on other stuff .

Please remember this..Boys always will be boys 

And English is (honestly)my second language .

Please forgive me if I upseted you.life is too short really and it's 2019

X

 

User
Posted 05 Jan 2019 at 11:23

In answer to your query Darkrainbow, I used the pump most days when I first got it (not every day, I didn't take it along if I was away visiting). To begin with the effect was underwhelming, the tissues of the penis had obviously tightened up a lot after the operation and hurt when stretched. However millimetre by millimetre the achievable size increased.

Natural erections followed on behind, though I began to feel "stirrings" without visible size change a month or two after the operation.

If you hunt through the older threads on this site you will find advice from those who struggled to achieve usable natural erections but were able to use the pump to maintain sex life within their relationship.

There seems to be a huge range of individual experiences, and those who were unable to have either nerve preserved had a high risk of never re-achieving erections (though a few report success). I have read a claim that men having the most active sex lives before the operation have the best prospects for rapid recovery, so fingers crossed for you.

User
Posted 05 Jan 2019 at 11:56

Darkrainbow don't be offended if a lot of people read your post but don't respond.  It will be because they don't have the relevant knowledge or experience to be able to help you.  It's far better to get a couple of responses from people who know what they are talking about rather than loads of unhelpful comments.     Hopefully things will improve for you soon.

User
Posted 05 Jan 2019 at 12:17

Hi Scabby cat 

Thank you so much for your comment .true ...what you said is very logical. 

100% noted. 

Thanks for your kind wishes. 

Have a nice weekend 

D.R

Ps.Yes I was being selfish really! And it's not all about me! And I like your profile name Scabby cat:)

Edited by member 05 Jan 2019 at 12:24  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 05 Jan 2019 at 12:21

Hi J-B

You really given me a great support with your comment of  the men whom was active in the bedroom before the operation and they have higher chances to recover quickly .

Surely I will read the old posts about it

Many thanks for your taking time and responding to me, much appreciated 

Have a  nice weekend 

D.R

User
Posted 19 Feb 2019 at 21:27

Hi, I am a little older than yourself aged 65yrs, had my surgery on the 13th December 2018 and the catheter removed on the 20th December 2018. Like yourself sexually active before surgery and keen to remain doing so. I have been fortunate so far in that I am a keen sports person and have got back to running at 5weeks post surgery.

Nerves have been spared and Having read how important it was to encourage blood flow to th e penis purchased a pump and visited my gp who prescribed sildenafil. I have been advised by the Specialist Nurse to use the pump daily with the sole purpose of encouraging blood flow (not just for sex) a muscle exerciser. We have had success and been intimate and I can feel life returning. whilst I am keen I also know its a marathon and not a sprint and want my penis rehab to be forever!! 

I have experienced orgasms which are deeper and with great feeling,fantastic. 

User
Posted 19 Feb 2019 at 23:23

4THOUGHT 

Thank you so much for taking time and responding to me .

Your a very positive man.see you already running around .Sound your feeling so good.

Honestly I'm not like you.

I had my RP surgery back to December the 6th but today so over two months now ,yesterday  I carried a shopping bag about in walking distance of 4-5 minutes but the scare on my tummy has gone red and there were uncomfy feelings there seems other stiches areas all good in terms of the healing but the one right on my tummy where the belly button is .Yes I was told by experienced guys & girls on here that it's a long term process too early to carry anything that is little bit heavy 

But you seem doing ok.

Good luck mate. 

Edited by member 20 Feb 2019 at 08:06  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 27 Feb 2019 at 22:46

HI , it seems we are in similar boat re our surgery etc. I had RP near 3 months ago. i am 51 this year 3+4 gleason core . My urge for sex is there. Obvously theres a healing period which i think 6 weeks is enough b4 can try to get blood flowing into penis i was told so it doesnt shrink etc. I was given a pump which i use few times a week just as a exercise to keep blood flowing so to avoid scar tissue forming in penis.  i still havent had sexual intercourse but hasnt stopped me having fun with my partner and i still get orgasms (dry ones) even though once there was some fluid. But i havent had orgasm yet with a erection. But now i am being given prescription for the penile injections, which i am told will be very effective in getting a erection. The pump i found so far doesnt quite give it a full hard on but maybe thats becuase its early days and i dont want to keep pumping becuase it gets a little uncomfrotable, but im not worried cos i was only using it for rehab lol. Going to hosp this week for them to show me how to use the injection so looking forward to a proper erection. Later i will try viagra too to see if any nerves have come back , even though it was a non nerve sparing surgery, but you never know. I know how it feels to worry about your sx life is why i took the time to reply. Let me know how you get on. Whats was your gleason score and pathology report after the surgery and what was your psa before surgery and after. Regards 

User
Posted 01 Mar 2019 at 09:10

Good Morning Herc2018

Thanks for your long and precious explanation. Seems to me your a very determined guy in your sexual department very positive one..Hope that by now your back to your normal life style:)

Yes we are definitly on the same boat our situations are smiliar. 

After my first follow up appointment I have only given tadafil but same time I attented  a seminar of ED .....and next week I have got an appointment with ED clinic to find out about that if am I going to get a pump or not .

2 days ago I have seen my GP ,I mentioned her that I have only given 4 tadafil only used 2 of them but not enough hardenest in that department  though. 

I asked my GP that if she could put me on daily cialis? Answer were  she is happy to prescribe them for me but because of they are very powerful drugs she prefer to get a letter from my surgery teams member first. Obviously she doesn't wish to take a risk or she just wish to follow the procedure. 

Re use of pump I noticed on this website and on your comment that some men includes you gets pain during use of pump. What sort of pain  I know sound silly to ask but where the pains coming from from deep side of your penis to middle etc.also injections you mentioned that they are very helpful but how do you use them sound horrible though .

Also I'm just imaging my self that I'm in bed with my partner after sweet times kissing etc.I  say to her  ..Darling give me a minute or so..! .than I use pump to get erection than resume for the lovely times...:) sound is not natural ....I wonder that whilst me pumping my poor fella in the pump what would my partner will think? Or do? Text a friend?or read a book? Or watch one of those  Jason bourne movies?

Re.pathology result, May I ask you to look at my profile please all my details are on there. 

Thank you 

D.R

 

User
Posted 11 Mar 2019 at 16:57

Just wanted to say thanks all for the information on this thread, very new here as I only got my diagnosis last week but the site is amazing and getting lots of good information.

Having started and enjoyed a new relationship last year I'm very worried about ED issues post operation which is the course that has initially been recommended, I'm still waiting a further consultation. 49 years old and as I say in a new and very good relationship so keen to understand pitfalls of all routes so I'm well informed.

So thank you all.

User
Posted 11 Mar 2019 at 21:37

Hi Ezza 

Glad to hear that your so positive and full of with Energy. 

Yes this website is so great very helpful it's full of with saint's. I think they spend their energy for people like you and me here.

Until I joined here had no idea about Prostate related illness..still have not though but  my fault not theirs.i learned a lots from them .

Anyway...Good luck to you for your new relationship. I'm sure it will create colourful life style for you.

Don't worry about ED.your not even 50 years old so naturally you have more chance being a tiger than us oldies )

Cheers 

D.R

User
Posted 11 Mar 2019 at 23:02

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member

Also I'm just imaging my self that I'm in bed with my partner after sweet times kissing etc.I  say to her  ..Darling give me a minute or so..! .than I use pump to get erection than resume for the lovely times...:) sound is not natural ....I wonder that whilst me pumping my poor fella in the pump what would my partner will think? Or do? Text a friend?or read a book? Or watch one of those  Jason bourne movies.

Thank you 

D.R

 

Or maybe your partner will do intimate things to you and make your joint experience out of this world.

Thanks Chris

User
Posted 12 Mar 2019 at 08:00

Good Morning Chris 

Thanks for your kind message 

Yes your right partners can be very supportive ,Actually I'm in some ways very lucky guy because of my girl friend she is an open minded girl she does everything for me, she is married but she is been very supportive. She is even 14 years younger than me and married:) .....(I was a part time Gigolo before the operation)

Saddly during my operation time and afterwards she had a long family holiday at their home in florida. So I had to manage A to Z my self.

Once again Thanks for your kind respond. 

D.R

Edited by member 12 Mar 2019 at 08:07  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 12 Mar 2019 at 09:37

Hi Just to let you know that Last week attended  at the hospital for blood test.

So my PSA  blood test result is undetectable 

《0.01.

 

Hope your OK.

 

Cheers 

D.R

 
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