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nervous wife pre-op

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User
Posted 10 Jan 2019 at 15:06

Hello!

This is my first time posting. My husband is having his prostatectomy on Jan 22nd by Da Vinci here in Indiana, USA. We are young (mid 50's), active, have 4 kids, (two teens still at home). We found out by routine blood tests as his levels had rocketed over a couple of years.  Had the cancer confirmed last summer 2018 and he was a 3+3 on first diagnosis, by December a 3+4 hence the surgery now.

We have a lot of faith and trust in our surgeon, and optimistic that nerves will be spared, etc, but we are both worried about life afterwards in different ways. Hubby went for his pre op and the nurse told him that he must remember to bring baggy tracksuit pants for coming home post surgery. That was a big reality pill for him as HE had not really thought much about practicalities like that, so we had to go shopping! Since then we have been avidly looking online for practical help and advice and am so glad we found this site. If anyone would be kind enough to reach out with any practical hints we would really appreciate it. For example, even though he is having robotic surgery via his abdomen, will he need a "doughnut" cushion to sit on? I will be doing the driving and want him to be as comfy as possible on the journey home from hospital which is over 60 miles from our home in the boondocks!

Thank you all!

User
Posted 10 Jan 2019 at 21:33

Brandy

Welcome to the site nobody wants to be on, although you are in the US it might be useful to download the toolkit from this site. No doubt there are differences from treatments here and over there. Not sure about the doughnut cushion, but with sixty mile trip home some extra padding would be beneficial. If you open the search box above and search for "shopping" they are lots of tips on preparing for the op and after care, again some brands my not be available in your location. Top of my list of tips is always avoid constipation in the days post op.

Any questions don't hesitate to ask.

Best wishes for the op.

Thanks Chris

User
Posted 10 Jan 2019 at 21:46

Hi there

Hopefully i can offer some reaasurance   im 53 and had robotic RP 7 november.  2 mths later feeling great.  The baggy pants are a goid idea.   I was discharged the next day, walked the 100 yds or thru the hosp and across the carpark.  I will not lie, the drive home hurt.  And i was very sore for a good few days, but noticeably better each day.  the pain was from the belly wounds rather than the prostate itself.  

from the off I moved avout as much as i could, buu also napped plenty.  Listening to my body helped. It soon told me when I overdid it

Overall?  I had two mobths off work and thoroughly enjoyed the peace and quiet. I took over the domestics, cooking and so on, frightening everyone with new recipes.  All in all a positive exoerience

WiSh you all the best

 

geoff

 

PS  Apols for the excrable typing, doing this from my phone

User
Posted 10 Jan 2019 at 22:22
Not sure that a doughnut cushion is needed or even helpful but it would be a good idea to buy some underpants (pants not boxer shorts) one size larger than he usually wears - he will be having a vasectomy as part of the op and his penis & testicles may be very swollen afterwards - pants will give him a bit of support. By baggy pants, I imagine the nurse meant track suit bottoms - ideally with a drawstring waistband and in a sweatshirt material rather than nylon, in a dark colour.

If he will be having a normal catheter, check whether the hospital will provide local anaesthetic gel for the eye of his penis - if not, you should be able to buy Instagell (or an American equivalent) at a drug store.

A waterproof mattress protector will give him some peace of mind when the catheter is removed or, failing that, the disposable pads that can be bought for puppies at most pet shops.

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 11 Jan 2019 at 00:01
I had a 115 mile trip home, and I am sure Her Loveliness managed to find every pothole, manhole cover, drain grating and speed hump on the way! Didn’t need a rubber ring though.

Definitely go for the mattress protector (on eBay or similar for around $10), as there will almost certainly be the inevitable accident or two.

Best of luck,

Cheers, John.

User
Posted 11 Jan 2019 at 15:27

Thank you, Chris.  You are right, no one wants to be on here, but actually it is a wonderful community and I am glad we are part of such a caring and positive group of people. We are British and feel more British than American anyway.

Feeling much more prepared now!

Thanks and all the best!

User
Posted 12 Jan 2019 at 12:38

Hello, sorry you find yourself here but such a valuble source of support, information and experience on here. My husband had RP in 2017. With regards to the journey home (ours was only an hours drive) his greatest discomfort was in his shoulders due I think to gases used to extend the abdomen during surgery. Someone may know the exact details of that better. He needed to recline during the journey back so pillows would be a good idea too. Wishing you all the best. 

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User
Posted 10 Jan 2019 at 21:33

Brandy

Welcome to the site nobody wants to be on, although you are in the US it might be useful to download the toolkit from this site. No doubt there are differences from treatments here and over there. Not sure about the doughnut cushion, but with sixty mile trip home some extra padding would be beneficial. If you open the search box above and search for "shopping" they are lots of tips on preparing for the op and after care, again some brands my not be available in your location. Top of my list of tips is always avoid constipation in the days post op.

Any questions don't hesitate to ask.

Best wishes for the op.

Thanks Chris

User
Posted 10 Jan 2019 at 21:46

Hi there

Hopefully i can offer some reaasurance   im 53 and had robotic RP 7 november.  2 mths later feeling great.  The baggy pants are a goid idea.   I was discharged the next day, walked the 100 yds or thru the hosp and across the carpark.  I will not lie, the drive home hurt.  And i was very sore for a good few days, but noticeably better each day.  the pain was from the belly wounds rather than the prostate itself.  

from the off I moved avout as much as i could, buu also napped plenty.  Listening to my body helped. It soon told me when I overdid it

Overall?  I had two mobths off work and thoroughly enjoyed the peace and quiet. I took over the domestics, cooking and so on, frightening everyone with new recipes.  All in all a positive exoerience

WiSh you all the best

 

geoff

 

PS  Apols for the excrable typing, doing this from my phone

User
Posted 10 Jan 2019 at 22:22
Not sure that a doughnut cushion is needed or even helpful but it would be a good idea to buy some underpants (pants not boxer shorts) one size larger than he usually wears - he will be having a vasectomy as part of the op and his penis & testicles may be very swollen afterwards - pants will give him a bit of support. By baggy pants, I imagine the nurse meant track suit bottoms - ideally with a drawstring waistband and in a sweatshirt material rather than nylon, in a dark colour.

If he will be having a normal catheter, check whether the hospital will provide local anaesthetic gel for the eye of his penis - if not, you should be able to buy Instagell (or an American equivalent) at a drug store.

A waterproof mattress protector will give him some peace of mind when the catheter is removed or, failing that, the disposable pads that can be bought for puppies at most pet shops.

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 11 Jan 2019 at 00:01
I had a 115 mile trip home, and I am sure Her Loveliness managed to find every pothole, manhole cover, drain grating and speed hump on the way! Didn’t need a rubber ring though.

Definitely go for the mattress protector (on eBay or similar for around $10), as there will almost certainly be the inevitable accident or two.

Best of luck,

Cheers, John.

User
Posted 11 Jan 2019 at 15:27

Thank you, Chris.  You are right, no one wants to be on here, but actually it is a wonderful community and I am glad we are part of such a caring and positive group of people. We are British and feel more British than American anyway.

Feeling much more prepared now!

Thanks and all the best!

User
Posted 11 Jan 2019 at 15:29

Thank you Geoff! That is very encouraging to hear. We are feeling a lot more prepared due to the last 24 hours of being on this site! 

have a great day!

User
Posted 11 Jan 2019 at 15:33

Thanks, Lyn. Already feeling better prepared after the last 24 hours scouring this site. My husband had a vasectomy over 20 years ago so we are no stranger to that post operative experience! That was terrible! Poor guy! So hopefully that will mean a bit less discomfort for him. Thanks for the advice, have a good day!

User
Posted 11 Jan 2019 at 15:36

Thank you, John. Poor you, that journey must have been terrible. The roads here are bad so I will make sure my hubby has a nice soft ride home. This community is amazing and I am almost overwhelmed by everyone's support and advice. Bless you and have a great day!

User
Posted 12 Jan 2019 at 12:38

Hello, sorry you find yourself here but such a valuble source of support, information and experience on here. My husband had RP in 2017. With regards to the journey home (ours was only an hours drive) his greatest discomfort was in his shoulders due I think to gases used to extend the abdomen during surgery. Someone may know the exact details of that better. He needed to recline during the journey back so pillows would be a good idea too. Wishing you all the best. 

User
Posted 12 Jan 2019 at 17:40
I had a one hour drive then one hour flight 3 days after surgery. The driver was most unsympathetic every pothole, change of direction and stop/start was painful. The flight however was far more comfortable, just a different type of smoother movement I suppose. With a careful and smooth driver it should be better.

Best of luck

Cheers

Bill

User
Posted 13 Jan 2019 at 23:29

Hi, If he's walking round the ward carrying a urine bag and blood drainage bag after he's come round properly then he should find the car trip fine.  Fitting the catheter bag inside his trousers is the test and the bag they discharge you with fits at the ankle (at least mine did) whereas the one in the hospital was on my thigh.   Looking on the bright side you don't need to use the loo.  You need to keep things clean and change the bag at night to a bigger night bag, it's amazing how much fluid comes out at night.  I don't know how we manage without a bag.  I was always careful to stop drinking after 8pm and didn't have any alcohol for 6 months although some carry on regardless.  I found sitting on the toilet the most uncomfortable bit, I imagined it was pulling on those sphincter stitches and sometimes it went rose in the bag which looks more worrying than it is.

Then they remove the incision staples and then the catheter and you need pads for a while.  Usually starting with '5 out of 8 drop' pads that need to be held in by your underpants. I wouldn't go for any fancy slim style pads.  In winter the pads were quite warm which was good.   I was always dry at night but walking caused more leakage till it got stronger.  With a pad you can't tell you're leaking till it gets fairly full so carrying a spare is useful at first.  I bought far too many as it suddenly went 99% dry and dared to stop wearing them.

I was so pleased to have got the op done that perhaps it dulled other senses but I never had any pain.  Keep us informed as it will be interesting to know if things are different in the US.  Regards Peter

User
Posted 23 Jan 2019 at 13:13

Thank you Peter. I especially like the fact you say the pads keep you a bit warmer! Its thick snow and freezing cold here so I will tell hubby that little gem.

He had his op yesterday so I am going to collect him later, all being well. The surgeon was delighted with the op (!) There are no stitches or staples, only the catheter, which I find amazing. I will know more when we get home. Thanks for your support, I hope you are doing well :-)

 

 
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