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My amazing dad has passed away

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User
Posted 14 Jan 2019 at 21:21

My beloved dad passed away just before midnight. He fought this PC doggedly for two years accepting all treatment right until the end (he even had palliative radiotherapy four days ago). Unfortunately the Abiraterone didn’t ever really work but after chemo finished in the autumn he was so incredibly weak having endured ten sessions. He was so brave and tried absolutely everything. His mind was so sharp and bright but his body was so tired. He began to decline from 1st December onwards. It was deeply traumatic because we were calling ambulances and having hospital admissions with increasing frequency. It was heartbreaking. Dad fought on all day yesterday right through until 23:35. I was with him as was mum and my sister and Dad’s brother. The Chaplin read a beautiful passage from the bible and my uncle sang hymns. We all told Dad how loved he was. He was wrapped by the nurses (who are true angels) in a sheet on his side with his face turned to the window. The sun came out and then the sky turned pink. I told Dad all the things I wanted to and stroked his hair. He grew quieter and then peace. He is free from the burden of complex health conditions that had really reduced his quality of life. I forgot to tell him about a book I’d been reading and I’m upset I forgot. I was so busy doing practical things like helping him sip water, change into new pyjamas, helping him to the bathroom, tidying his bed and locker and tray - he wanted these things done but was then so tired. I will miss him so much. He was the most amazing father to me. Thank you to each and every one of you who has helped me through and of course to the PC nurses. PenP x

User
Posted 14 Jan 2019 at 22:52

Penp

So sorry to hear of your loss, from your description of the care you gave him you should be very proud of yourself. Please accept my sincere condolences and please look after yourself.

Thanks Chris

User
Posted 17 Mar 2019 at 08:02

Thank you Peter for your kind words they are very much appreciated. I am so pleased you also found some comfort in my post. I still come on this site from time to time to see how everyone is doing. Dad’s funeral was beautiful and he would have been so touched by all the people who attended and the amount of donations we received for the hospice (£915). Mum and I are going to continue to support the hospice by making cards to sell. Life has changed and we miss him all the time but to know he is at peace is comforting. I wish you and your family all the very best and will keep an eye out for any of your posts. 

PenP xxx

User
Posted 17 Mar 2019 at 09:58
PenP

Your post was heart breaking and yet comforting and positive. Focus now on your happy memories, and know that you and your family did your very best for the Father you all loved dearly.

Hugs and prayers to you all.

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User
Posted 14 Jan 2019 at 22:52

Penp

So sorry to hear of your loss, from your description of the care you gave him you should be very proud of yourself. Please accept my sincere condolences and please look after yourself.

Thanks Chris

User
Posted 14 Jan 2019 at 23:14
Penp,

Sending hugs your way. What lovely care he was shown by those around him in his last days. Xx

User
Posted 14 Jan 2019 at 23:45
So sad for you PenP - you have been so strong all through this and it seems that your dad just had one of those really aggressive types that could not be controlled by anything for long.

All I can wish for you now is that you will be able to draw a bit more of that strength to get you through the coming days, weeks, months. In time, the horrible bits of the story will fade and you will just remember how much you loved him, how much you were loved and how beautiful the end was.

Take care x

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 14 Jan 2019 at 23:51
Tears rolling down my face your update is both devastating and beautiful.

It takes a while but you will forget the bad stuff and will be left with all the good memories to treasure.

User
Posted 15 Jan 2019 at 00:08
PenP, So sorry you have lost your much loved Dad, it's a very sad occasion for family and friends but his struggle and all that that involved is over and we wish you well in coming to terms with his loss. You will remember the happy times.
Barry
User
Posted 15 Jan 2019 at 01:55

I'm so sorry for the loss of your wonderful father.  The happy memories of him will live in your heart forever.  My sincere condolences to you and all your family. xx

User
Posted 15 Jan 2019 at 04:59
I don’t know what to say Pen. Very moving emotive reading. So sorry for your loss xx
User
Posted 15 Jan 2019 at 07:04
So sorry Pen. The pain will ease with time. Our loved ones do live on after death, in the memories they leave us with.

Best Wishes

Bill

User
Posted 15 Jan 2019 at 07:16
So sorry for your loss my thoughts are with you and your family xxx

Barbara

User
Posted 15 Jan 2019 at 07:33

Also just wanted to say so really sorry to hear this news about your dad.

I don't know whether it helps anyone in your situation but when my beloved mum died of cancer it may have been a way of coping for me but in the early days afterwards I kept thinking   YES you horrible b*****d of a disease you have taken my mum but in your efforts you have also died and you can't take away my lovely memories of my mum.

Take care of yourself.

Love Ann x

User
Posted 15 Jan 2019 at 07:35

Sorry to hear this Pen , but be glad you had him as a Father , and im sure it helped him cope having such a loving family.

Take care

Phil

User
Posted 15 Jan 2019 at 08:10

Im really sorry to read this sad news, your Dad sounds like he was a wonderful man, that had a wonderful daughter and family.

Sending live and strength to you at this very sad time xxxx

User
Posted 15 Jan 2019 at 08:20

I am so sorry to read this Pen, how wonderfully you cared for your dad and that will sustain you in the weeks and months ahead. My deepest sympathy on your loss.

with love

Devonmaid xxxx 

User
Posted 15 Jan 2019 at 09:39
Thoughts are with you at this sad time .

Best wishes

Debby

User
Posted 15 Jan 2019 at 15:06

So very sorry to read your sad news, my sincere condolences to you and your family.

Dream like you have forever, live like you only have today Avatar is me doing the 600 mile Camino de Santiago May 2019

User
Posted 15 Jan 2019 at 15:11

So sorry to hear this.   Sincere condolences to you and your family.   Please take comfort in the fact that you were all with him when he passed away.  Unfortunately my dad was alone when he died a year ago and this haunts me to this day.  Take care xx

User
Posted 15 Jan 2019 at 23:03

I am so sorry you have lost your lovely brave Dad and glad that his last moments were with the people he loved the most. You gave him all the love you could. Take care of each other now as you all grieve in your on way. Wishing you all the best in the future.

User
Posted 19 Jan 2019 at 10:52
I have no words only lots of tears.

Take care xxx

Dave

User
Posted 10 Feb 2019 at 09:46

I am so sorry for your loss, I have tears running down my face. I know he would be in a better place now. Lots of love and hugs to you and all around you. 

User
Posted 11 Feb 2019 at 09:49

55 years old man's tears coming down here :(

'I m really sorry for your loss of Dad.

He was a lucky man to have a loving & caring a daughter like you.

Stay strong ......

D.R

 

 

User
Posted 17 Mar 2019 at 00:20

My Dear PenP,

I am really really sorry to hear about your poor dad's passing. I have only just this minute read your post and I am devastated that I have not offered you my condolences before now.

As you know, I have not been on the forum for some time, apart from posting my one update on my trial medication, so I had no idea that you had suffered such an awful loss.

As many others have said in response to your post, I was moved to tears by your words. Such a beautiful, loving description of his final moments. I was particularly moved by just how peaceful his passing was and I take great personal comfort and reassurance in that, so thank you so much for sharing those moments with us all.

It has been a couple of months now, so I am hoping that you are beginning to learn how to cope with your loss and the hurt you feel is perhaps just a little tiny bit better than it was.It will take a long long time, but eventually, the good memories will overshadow the bad ones. I am just so sorry that I wasn't here for you before now.

I will be thinking of you

Lots of love

Peter

User
Posted 17 Mar 2019 at 08:02

Thank you Peter for your kind words they are very much appreciated. I am so pleased you also found some comfort in my post. I still come on this site from time to time to see how everyone is doing. Dad’s funeral was beautiful and he would have been so touched by all the people who attended and the amount of donations we received for the hospice (£915). Mum and I are going to continue to support the hospice by making cards to sell. Life has changed and we miss him all the time but to know he is at peace is comforting. I wish you and your family all the very best and will keep an eye out for any of your posts. 

PenP xxx

User
Posted 17 Mar 2019 at 09:58
PenP

Your post was heart breaking and yet comforting and positive. Focus now on your happy memories, and know that you and your family did your very best for the Father you all loved dearly.

Hugs and prayers to you all.

 
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