My dads op in 10 days

Firstly no apology needed for sharing your scary news. I had my operation nearly 4 years ago and am fine. Obviously every case is different but there are plenty of people on here who have been through the process and come out the other side. It is a shock to everyone close to you and you need to talk if you can. 

I spent 2 nights in hospital and once the catheter came out I was functioning well. It drained me but it didn't take long for my energy levels to return.

Your Dad should have had a bone and body scan to see if it has spread from the capsule.

Please feel free to read my profile or message me if you need any further support.

Edited by member 20 Jan 2019 at 10:30  | Reason: Not specified

Not all hospitals do bone scans for all men; they use the information available to them to decide whether there is a risk or likelihood of it having spread. The fact that they have offered him surgery indicates that they believe the cancer is still contained in the prostate, otherwise they wouldn't be doing it. Their risk assessment will be based on the PSA, the Gleason score, how many samples were positive, how much cancer there was in each of the positive samples and where in each sample it was positioned (near the middle, well inside or near the edge). Has he had an MRI scan and just not mentioned it to you with everything else going on? It may have been before his biopsy?

I am not sure why you are concerned about the 3 nights in hospital? It is major surgery so the hospital will want to know that he is able to move around easily before they let him go home, particularly if they know he is a carer for your mum. Sometimes the hospital says 3 nights but it is only actually 2 nights if all goes well and they need the bed. Personally, I would want him in hospital for as long as possible as the pain relief is better.

There are obviously diagnostic results that you either don't know or just haven't told us, that would make sense of your dad's situation. It would be a great shame if he has been rushed into agreeing the operation without an opportunity to talk to an oncologist to consider alternatives such as radiotherapy or just monitoring it for a while, but I guess he is unlikely to want to delay the operation just because of something you have read on here. The best thing you could do for yourself and your parents is phone the number at the top of this page and order the toolkit - that will explain the different types of prostate cancer, what the results mean, and info about surgery and other options.

If his medical team have told him he will need to be off work for 3 months, then there is probably good reason for that and we shouldn't be saying any different. If he goes back to work earlier than recommended and has an accident, he won't be insured and anyone that he injures will get no compensation plus he and his employer risk criminal charges as well as HSE action.

As some of you know, John drove a company car and the company insurance would not cover him until 12 weeks post-op + they wanted a letter from the surgeon confirming that he could drive (which the surgeon refused to provide). Physically, he could have been back earlier and was able to work from home from about 9 weeks but there was no way he was going to be driving on public roads without cover.

If his doctor says after the op "you are doing great, you can go back to work at 6 weeks" or whatever, then great ... but otherwise, I think he should stick with his medical advice & employer occ health department rather than us.

http://www.hse.gov.uk/workplacetransport/personnel/medicalfitness.htm 

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/736938/assessing-fitness-to-drive-a-guide-for-medical-professionals.pdf 

Edited by moderator 19 Oct 2023 at 15:38  | Reason: to activate the hyperlinks

Thank you all for your replies and support, it means alot.

I dont know all of the exact information as I was unable to attend the results appointment where as my mother did (but her explanations aren't great, nor is her memory) 

I guess I just have no one as my mum and dad push me away when I try to ask questions or talk about it, I guess they're all scared and still not quite processing the news.

I understand the 3 nights stay it's just obviously my dad is a very stubborn man and wouldnt like to stay more than he had to.....but for me as long as hes ok I'm fine with that part.

Also once obviously he gets the all clear from this operation how often will he be having cancer check ups? 

I'm glad there are so many success rates here as it puts my mind and rest, thank you all so much I'm glad I came to this community as I feel at ease so much more now.

Thanks again 

Maria  

Wow, its amazing how much work is put into it after the operation is completed. I'm a natural worrier which is no good to me or anyone else infact.

Makes it worse I cant visit him before his op as I'm laid up so not wanting to jeopardise his surgery.

I know hes scared and the helpless feeling is the worst part about it all. 

Glad to hear the survival stories it gives me so much hope thank you all so much 

May I ask Paul hun.....my mum arrived back from visiting my dad it all went well 4 and a half hours in surgery but it's gone, we have been told that my dad wont know if hes all clear from cancer for 5 weeks now, call me stupid but if it was contained within the prostate surely that is the end of it? I'm just a little deflated as I really had my heart set on this being the huge step before he could recover and have the blood tests 3 monthly etc. Thank you