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Dad changes in personality concerns me

Posted 08 Mar 2019 at 22:44

Please can someone give me some advice as i think i’m goIng crazy,my story so far is- 

Feb 2018 dad diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer, he had all treatments available to keep it at bay but it wasn’t successful. 

Jan 2019 told he only had weeks to live and now under the support from St Lukes. 

What i’m so confused and can’t get my head around is the constant emotional rollercoaster  and changes in dad. We are a very small family i am his only relative nearby so his only carer and its really stressful. Three weeks ago he was so ill,  constantly sleeping not eating, very confused we thought this is it. Then a couple of days after he’d come around and be back on his feet (although very unsready and with support), this has happened four times. Now he can’t sleep gets extremely agitated, angry, losing his memory, cannot sit still wanders and almost paces the rooms. he has also become very unsteady on his feet falling over, walking into doors, started wetting himself, and repeats himself constantly sometimes making no sense and sometimes just stops talking mid sentence. He’s even taken to following me around the house, i have to go upstairs for a break because i know he can’t follow me.

What i’m asking is has anyone else experienced such unusual behaviour, the nurse said the cancer now has probably spread to his brain. As i am a single parent with a young child we are know looking at nursing homes because i’m struggling to manage on my own. 

Any advice on what to expect next and if anyone else has experienced this would be very much appreciated,  thankyou.


Posted 09 Mar 2019 at 09:51

Hi Kanni

I’m so sorry you are dealing with this, can I ask if you have hospice support with your dad?If so maybe they could take him in for some respite care. It could certainly be mets on the brain, though my understanding is that this is fairly rare, also it seems rather harsh to simply say that to you and offer no support. The other possibilty is a UTI, has his urine been checked? UTIs do cause confusion and the symptoms you mention, making people seem almost as though they have dementia. 

If the hospice can’t help then i do think a nursing home is the best solution as this is hard to manage in your circumstances and as your dad becomes more unwell he will need more nursing care. 

So sorry, you sound so alone, can you ring the nurses here and see what they advise?

with love

Devonmaid xxxx

Posted 09 Mar 2019 at 10:41

Thankyou so much for your reply we have a visit from St Lukes on Monday and they are filling in the paperwork for a nursing home. They say its time to go from being his carer to being his daughter, its so hard as i have a 9yr old daughter and shes managed well but is now showing signs of stress. I will discuss everything with her on Monday. Thankyou again

Posted 09 Mar 2019 at 17:35

Hi Kanni

That’s a massive relief, I totally agree with that, nursing your own dad seems a step too far when things get to that stage. I’m happy for you in a sad situation.

with love

Devonmaid xxx

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