You don’t have to tell everyone and their mother about your ongoing cancer. Although most people mean very well, there is a morbid curiosity of those without cancer to discover what it must be like to have it, asking those with the disease how they are and what does it feel like - this is quite normal human behaviour as the word cancer still is such a big taboo. Remember, those who ask genuinely mean well.
So, tell who you want, the level of information you want. Hold onto that power as you alone possess it. Do not feel too lonely about your diagnosis as you have chosen to share that with those you love and trust the most. In time, you may wish to tell others, you may not - but YOU have the CONTROL over that.
Part of the reason for not telling others I found was that I somehow felt shameful for being so weak that my body had succumbed to this disease. I sometimes still do. However, this has diminished with the passage of time as I have come to realise that when I was a boy, cancer affected 1 in 5, it was 1 in 3 and now it is a ridiculous 1 in 2 - that is 50% of us will get cancer at one stage in our lives. By the time my future grandchildren will become adults, heaven forfend this figure reaches 1 in 1.
Cancer was always a curse. It still is, but so many people now affected by it are empowered to varying degrees by the openness with which it is talked about, “de-shamed,” debugged and demystified. It is also so much more openly talked about these days in disease specific forums and helpful organisations and charities to assist sufferers. These do not do it for everyone, but they are invaluable resources to others - places where you can post without shame and tell your innermost feelings to. It offers cathartic release for those otherwise trapped by the potency and psychological power of the disease.
Brian, you are, like all of those who suffer and post in here, empowered. You may not fully realise it but you are. You WILL adapt to deal with your disease better in time. You may not ever become the finished article (because I don’t think anyone asks to get cancer nor become a master of its psychological effects) but you will adapt - and as you do, you will be less affected by those relentless cancer adverts of TV which mean well but do so much harm to the minds of those like us who have to watch them. You will feel less embarrassed about sharing your physical vulnerabiliy with others. You will become a stronger person for it.
Go into each day with purpose. You control your destiny. The cancer may be part of your future but you and you alone will always define who you are.
I wish you strength brother.
Bazza