I can imagine how hard this must be for you, and I give you my thoughts which are written on the assumption that he is quite clear in his mind ... Fact is, many old people - far more than most people imagine - make a conscious decision that 'enough is enough', and decide to let nature take its course.
Whatever is ailing him, you do not want your last days / weeks / months with him to be a memory covered in fights and broken trust.
So long as he seems comfortable, do try to respect his wishes: I'm no mind reader, but I suspect that he is dying, that he knows he is dying, and wants to do it on his own terms.
And why not? What ever happens at the end will be a difficult time for you, but you'll make it easier for you both by letting him have control.
Of course it would be a very different matter if he was in pain or distressed, in which case you may need to reassess.
I'd suggest that you let him know that you want to respect his wishes, and ask his permission to get a nurse to see him, just to see if anything can be done to make him more comfortable - if you talk to your local hospice, I'm pretty sure they could arrange that - and, failing that, your GP may be able to arrange something.
This is a time to be sharing fond memories, or just being together, not necessarily a time for needles and tests.
I'd like to add a caveat here - I could be completely wrong: you can read him better than any of us, and you must do what feels right to you, while respecting his wishes as far as you can.
Edited by member 16 Mar 2019 at 12:48
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