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Any helpful ideas to support dad after surgery?

Posted 02 Apr 2019 at 10:39

Hi everyone

This is my first time posting. My dad is going to be having the robot surgery treatment soon and i was wondering if anyone had any ideas of anything i could get for him to help him either to make him comfortable after or pass time while he is recovering? He hasnt ever wanted to talk about his cancer, its beern swept under the carpet but i want him to know i care. I live too far away to phsyically be there. thanks

Posted 02 Apr 2019 at 14:54

Hello Missg858

im sure your Dad will know that you care and are thinking of him no matter how far away you are.

keeping him busy mentally, whilst recovering is important to take his mind off the worries of cancer.

so if your Dad has a hobby of some description encourage him to follow that either by reading up about it and planning what he intends to do when he is able to get out and about again.

my husband has prostate cancer which is advanced, he was not able to have the robot, but had radiotherapy last year and is still having symptoms from that.we make every day count, take days out, cinema, lunches, weekends away, walking, do charity fund raising to name a few.

i love a certain voucher company online ( not sure i can mention it on here 🤔) our children buy them for us as treats , it gets us out and about , making memories. so a voucher that suits his likes may  be a start for you. my best wishes to your Dad for his recovery, and to you and your family for his support.

 chin up 👍🏻😊

Posted 02 Apr 2019 at 15:24
I had robotic surgery and the best thing you can do for your Pa is buy a waterproof mattress protector, (from eBay, for example), as whatever the skill of the surgeon, there are likely to be ‘accidents’, whilst the catheter is connected and afterwards.

I was very lucky as I was back to ‘normal’ within a week - if you click my profile you can see my story - but every man is different.

So best of luck for your Dad.

Cheers, John.

Posted 03 Apr 2019 at 06:13

Good Morning Miss G.

Your dad after the operation wont be a patient man.bur we all different. 

I had RP operation last December 

I had to sleep about 2 weeks on the sofa in my living room.it wasn't comfy initially but because of the catheters was attached to my body It was more convenient for me to sleep on the sofa first 2 weeks until the catheters came off.

TV was the great time company for me 

Surely your dad wont be comfy to read books  first 2 weeks so make sure the TV is always stand by for him.

A companionship is very important as you stated you dont live closer to your dad so make sure he has got plenty foods to eat.

We were told after the operation we must consume high energy foods-drinks while,green stuff ,steak, smootie etc.

A bucket can be practical to place the night bag next to the bed/sofa. 

I like to listen music but after the operation I preferred to watch TV-movies more than the music. A TV can be a great  company really. Especially until the catheters comes off .

So sorry that I cannot give more advises. 

Good luck to your dad with his future. 


Ps after the operation he must not force himself to lift even a pint of milk. 


Posted 03 Apr 2019 at 07:20

Hi Missg .     Everyone's recovery is different but most men's recovery isn't as unpleasant as DR's seemed to be. You don't say if you dad lives alone but he should be up and and about and able to go for short gentle walks after a few days so don't be too worried. My husband had no problems going upstairs to our bed and we don't have a downstairs bathroom/ toilet and again no problems. He just took his time.

I took a week off work but truthfully my husband didn't really need me and it was more for moral support. It's correct that he shouldn't lift anything too heavy for a while but a kettle with enough water for a cuppa won't harm him. If he is not up to cooking, a few good quality microwave meals might be a good idea and fruit doesn't need any cooking.He could also have his shopping / newspapers delivered at first. He won't be able to drive for a few weeks.

He will not need to be a hermit whilst he is recovering and it would certainly help him physically and most important mentally to get out and about within his limits when he is able. Does he have any other family/ friends locally that can visit and vice versa?

Although you don't live close to your dad you can still obviously phone him etc. He will appreciate that I am sure.

Best Regards



Edited by member 03 Apr 2019 at 07:22  | Reason: Predictive text error

Posted 06 Apr 2019 at 14:02

Hi there. I had robotic surgery sept last year at the marsden in London. I am in great shape no incontinence, yes ED but I am alive and and my psa is zero. To get to this state I:researched all options, researched surgeons and techniques used, took advice from consultants and this web site. A key bit of advice get yourself fit in particular core and kegal muscles. I felt crap for the first 2 days after surgery, then rapid recovery. I started gradual slow short distance walks slowly increasing. At 4 weeks very little discomfort. At week 8 my case was reviewed and all good and I flew down to Australia and things just got better. I firmly believe that getting fit, strengthening core and Kegels played a huge part in my recovery. I also had a supra pubic catheter  in for 2 weeks. It was not too uncomfortable and I think another element  in my recovery. Finally mental state. Keep busy before the surgery, avoid listening to here say and rubbish websites (not positive) - this charity is one of the best sources of info, the information contained is absolutely excellent.

cheers and good luck 


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