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Should I go away?

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User
Posted 07 May 2019 at 14:46

I am booked to go to visit my daughter in New Zealand in late September. The trip was booked last year before my husband was diagnosed and I’m worrying now about what to do and hoping for some advise!

Allen is on Zoladex HT ( and will be for two years) and starts his radiotherapy on 17th July finishing early September.  As so many of you have said, the effects last for several weeks after finishing the treatment    So I’m really worried about leaving him even though we have lots of family and friends on hand.

He is adamant that I’m to go and not cancel and he’ll be fine, but I’m not sure what to think!! I know we have time to see how it goes But any advise from any of you would be great👍

User
Posted 07 May 2019 at 15:28

I know nothing of hormone or radio therapies, fortunately (yet), but if your old man is happy for you to go and there is potential back-up from family, go.

Life is too short, as many here are coming to terms with.

Best of luck and bon voyage!

Cheers, John.

Edited by member 07 May 2019 at 15:29  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 07 May 2019 at 17:09
RT side effects are annoying (diarrhoea etc) but not something that requires one to be “looked after”. There’s absolutely no reason for you not to go.

Best wishes,

Chris

User
Posted 07 May 2019 at 22:37

Go.  He will be fine.

ulsterman

User
Posted 07 May 2019 at 23:04
I think your oh will be fine and it will be good for you to see your daughter. He may find he is a bit tired at times after the radiotherapy and if he needs to take it easy he can. The zoladex shouldn't cause any issues - my oh has been on it for some time and copes ok with it . Sometimes you have to make choices that are hard but if this has been a planned trip then both you and your daughter will have been looking forward to it.

You also say there are other people who can be around for him if he needs company or help and I am sure they will keep an eye on him for you. I hope all his treatments go well and that you will have a great holiday and can bring him lots of photos and stories from your daughter.

User
Posted 07 May 2019 at 23:34
Yes go, OH will cope well as I did for RT and for 7 of those 8 weeks I was by myself in a strange country without support and relying on buses and legs to get to the RT appointments and do shopping etc. I also traveled back to Germany on my own a few weeks after RT ended for follow up MRI and other tests. The one thing that posed a problem was needing to pee quite frequently, something I resolved by plotting where toilets were on my route and then obtaining the Conveen system which connects a bag strapped on the leg via a tube to a sheath on the penis. I used this system for a 2-3 months after RT ended and I recommend it.
Barry
User
Posted 08 May 2019 at 07:22
My RT finished 2 weeks ago. Had a bad time last week with impromptu bowel movements, couldn't stray far from the house.

This week had been much better and although not 100% back to normal I'd feel okay to go away.

Go to New Zealand and enjoy it.

User
Posted 08 May 2019 at 16:25

You should definitely go, your husband will be fine. Life is too short as it is.

Ido4

User
Posted 08 May 2019 at 18:32

Hi Chris,

you can only guess at the extent of the after effects of RT. I had virtually none . Whether that is down to me being strict with myself re water intake etc or the skill of the radiographers or both I have no idea. Probably a bit of luck thrown in too.

Whatever happens I’m sure he will be able to cope. 

Go away and enjoy yourself 😊

Phil

User
Posted 08 May 2019 at 19:58

Chris, I had 4pm appointment and kept hydrated all day then drank when I got there . I am lucky I could release a small amount when I got too full 😳 not everyone can do that . But I had a few times where it was really painful during the RT and had to run to the toilet quickly after. 😆😆

User
Posted 10 May 2019 at 08:15

If he is not going with you than you just go and enjoy with your trip in new Zealand  he would be OK with friends & relatives supports,remember this please there are some men on here who has no close relatives and friends but they are coping with daily routine, hospital appointments, getting A to Z , GP appointments, House chores etc and many other things. 

Has been difficult for some single /alone men especially during  Christmas and New year ,bank holidays etc.he is a lucky man to have a considered partner like you 

Yes if he is not going with you if you can't able to travel with you than you can just go .if you dont want to travel on your own then pick me please:))

 

D.R

Edited by member 10 May 2019 at 08:16  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 10 May 2019 at 09:13

Yes,DR, you make a good point when you say that there are many men sadly alone with this disease.  I had not given that a thought😔

thankyou👍

User
Posted 15 May 2019 at 09:10

Chris, my wife has relatives in Orewa and Browns Bay, both nearby, and my cousin lives in Christchurch. Lovely areas. But my favourite is Queenstown, just flying in over the mountains takes your breath away.

I’m sure Allen will be fine without you for a week or so. Fingers crossed he doesn’t get any affects from the RT.

Tell him to get on here if he needs any advice. There’s many helpful and knowledgeable people on here.

I am jealous of your trip...

Phil

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User
Posted 07 May 2019 at 15:28

I know nothing of hormone or radio therapies, fortunately (yet), but if your old man is happy for you to go and there is potential back-up from family, go.

Life is too short, as many here are coming to terms with.

Best of luck and bon voyage!

Cheers, John.

Edited by member 07 May 2019 at 15:29  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 07 May 2019 at 17:09
RT side effects are annoying (diarrhoea etc) but not something that requires one to be “looked after”. There’s absolutely no reason for you not to go.

Best wishes,

Chris

User
Posted 07 May 2019 at 17:26

Thanks guys, he wasn’t coming with me anyway and he has said to me that if he’s tired he won’t need me nagging him to rest and if he’s in the bathroom loads ( including during the night!)then he would rather I wasn't fussing either! 

We will see how he copes, at least the actual treatment and hospital bit will be over. 😏

User
Posted 07 May 2019 at 20:03

I’ve had it. I’m an old hand. Go, travel, live life, take chances. Don’t wait till you have no choice. Just do

User
Posted 07 May 2019 at 22:37

Go.  He will be fine.

ulsterman

User
Posted 07 May 2019 at 23:04
I think your oh will be fine and it will be good for you to see your daughter. He may find he is a bit tired at times after the radiotherapy and if he needs to take it easy he can. The zoladex shouldn't cause any issues - my oh has been on it for some time and copes ok with it . Sometimes you have to make choices that are hard but if this has been a planned trip then both you and your daughter will have been looking forward to it.

You also say there are other people who can be around for him if he needs company or help and I am sure they will keep an eye on him for you. I hope all his treatments go well and that you will have a great holiday and can bring him lots of photos and stories from your daughter.

User
Posted 07 May 2019 at 23:34
Yes go, OH will cope well as I did for RT and for 7 of those 8 weeks I was by myself in a strange country without support and relying on buses and legs to get to the RT appointments and do shopping etc. I also traveled back to Germany on my own a few weeks after RT ended for follow up MRI and other tests. The one thing that posed a problem was needing to pee quite frequently, something I resolved by plotting where toilets were on my route and then obtaining the Conveen system which connects a bag strapped on the leg via a tube to a sheath on the penis. I used this system for a 2-3 months after RT ended and I recommend it.
Barry
User
Posted 08 May 2019 at 07:03
Yes, needing to pee frequently is a side-effect that I experienced, too. Caused by the radiation irritating the bladder, I was told. Fortunately in my case it wore off within a couple of weeks of treatment ending.

Chris

User
Posted 08 May 2019 at 07:11

I love this community! Thankyou all! This has made me feel a whole lot better! It’s really difficult wanting to look forward to it and plan but feeling guilty about even thinking of going! 

Luckily he works from home and can arrange his hours accordingly, we have two dogs who he adores who will help keep him company and friends and family and fabulous neighbours should he need anything! The hospital, should he need it is literally just walking distance from us as is our GP so I’m going to stop worrying too much! 

Each day as it comes until then☺️

 

User
Posted 08 May 2019 at 07:22
My RT finished 2 weeks ago. Had a bad time last week with impromptu bowel movements, couldn't stray far from the house.

This week had been much better and although not 100% back to normal I'd feel okay to go away.

Go to New Zealand and enjoy it.

User
Posted 08 May 2019 at 16:25

You should definitely go, your husband will be fine. Life is too short as it is.

Ido4

User
Posted 08 May 2019 at 18:32

Hi Chris,

you can only guess at the extent of the after effects of RT. I had virtually none . Whether that is down to me being strict with myself re water intake etc or the skill of the radiographers or both I have no idea. Probably a bit of luck thrown in too.

Whatever happens I’m sure he will be able to cope. 

Go away and enjoy yourself 😊

Phil

User
Posted 08 May 2019 at 19:00

Hi Phil

 Just out of interest how much fluid intake did you have per day and what did you drink. 😊

User
Posted 08 May 2019 at 19:58

Chris, I had 4pm appointment and kept hydrated all day then drank when I got there . I am lucky I could release a small amount when I got too full 😳 not everyone can do that . But I had a few times where it was really painful during the RT and had to run to the toilet quickly after. 😆😆

User
Posted 08 May 2019 at 20:52

I’ll tell Allen to do this. He has already arranged late afternoon appointments so will be able to keep himself hydrated.  Thankyou ! 

User
Posted 08 May 2019 at 22:27

Sorry but Spurs into CL final YES 😆😆😆😆

User
Posted 08 May 2019 at 22:31

Gotta sell my Muse tickets now 😆😆😆

User
Posted 10 May 2019 at 08:15

If he is not going with you than you just go and enjoy with your trip in new Zealand  he would be OK with friends & relatives supports,remember this please there are some men on here who has no close relatives and friends but they are coping with daily routine, hospital appointments, getting A to Z , GP appointments, House chores etc and many other things. 

Has been difficult for some single /alone men especially during  Christmas and New year ,bank holidays etc.he is a lucky man to have a considered partner like you 

Yes if he is not going with you if you can't able to travel with you than you can just go .if you dont want to travel on your own then pick me please:))

 

D.R

Edited by member 10 May 2019 at 08:16  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 10 May 2019 at 09:13

Yes,DR, you make a good point when you say that there are many men sadly alone with this disease.  I had not given that a thought😔

thankyou👍

User
Posted 10 May 2019 at 13:19
Haven’t you gone on holiday yet? 😉

Cheers, John.

User
Posted 14 May 2019 at 11:43

Chris, hope you have decided to go to NZ?

We have been twice and it’s a fantastic place. Whereabouts are you going to in NZ? North & South islands are very different from each other.

We are looking forward to our next visit.

Phil

User
Posted 14 May 2019 at 20:11

 

Thanks Phil, 

My daughter and her family live in Torbay on the North Shore just on the coast outside Auckland on the North Island.   I’m very fortunate as I’ve been over several times to both islands 😊 fabulous place and I would live there if I could scoop the rest of the family up and take them all over there too😜

The trip was all booked before Allen’s diagnosis so unless things go terribly wrong, I will still be going! He is adamant I must go anyway and I have a feeling we will need the break from one another by the time it comes around! I fuss so much around him it’s driving him bonkers!!  🤦‍♀️😂😜

 

 

 

 

Edited by member 14 May 2019 at 20:13  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 15 May 2019 at 09:10

Chris, my wife has relatives in Orewa and Browns Bay, both nearby, and my cousin lives in Christchurch. Lovely areas. But my favourite is Queenstown, just flying in over the mountains takes your breath away.

I’m sure Allen will be fine without you for a week or so. Fingers crossed he doesn’t get any affects from the RT.

Tell him to get on here if he needs any advice. There’s many helpful and knowledgeable people on here.

I am jealous of your trip...

Phil

User
Posted 15 May 2019 at 09:24

I have visited both towns on a regular basis when I’ve been there and love them both! Love Long Bay as well which is a five minute drive from Becky 😊, The Orewa beach is stunning and just 15 minutes away. Agree with you that Queenstown and it’s flight into the airport is breathtaking and would recommend the SouthIsland to anyone wanting a truly memorable holiday. 

Im away for just over three weeks which is my concern but I will have everyone on standby if they are needed. 

Thankyou Phil, I will get him to  sign up for here as I think he will find it both interesting and helpful. 

Edited by member 15 May 2019 at 09:25  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 15 May 2019 at 10:09

Don’t worry and enjoy yourself. Tell Allen he should also make contact with the specialist nurses , they are excellent.

Also he can pm people if he wants to keep it private. Sometimes you forget you are broadcasting to the whole community.

Phil

User
Posted 17 Sep 2019 at 17:36
UPDATE:

Well, we’re are now now 1 week POST 37 fractions of RT and Allen has sailed through it.... want to thank Phil again for his tips! I made sure Allen drank nearly three litres of fluid every day before his late afternoon appointments , we cut out caffeine and ‘windy’ food and also made sure he took vitamin b12 supplements to combat tiredness. So far, touch wood, apart from the slight inconvenience of needing to pee often and bowel movements not fabulous, he’s doing fabulously with very little other side effects. 👏👏 he is already feeling more ‘normal ‘ in every way ☺️ So..... I’m off to NZ on Sunday 22nd and am not worried now at all.

Thanks again folks xx

User
Posted 17 Sep 2019 at 18:22

So pleased for you both. Enjoy your holiday in NZ , I am jealous 😊

Phil 

User
Posted 17 Sep 2019 at 18:40
Great news! Enjoy your holiday 😀.

Very best wishes,

Chris

 
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