Wedding invitation for Day 9 of chemo

User

Posted 15 May 2019 at 16:04

I would be grateful for advice on this dilemma. My husband is due to have 5th infusion of Docetaxel on Friday 14th June. We have been invited to his nephew’s wedding on 22nd June (day 9 by my calculations). He would very much like to go to the wedding and has tolerated the chemo well so far BUT looking at other posts, days 7-10 are sited as being when most vulnerable to infection. Any advice?

Thanks and best wishes to all

Betty

User

Posted 15 May 2019 at 22:15

Unfortunately, there are no guarantees on how well he will be but from a practical aspect would the journey to the wedding venue be a short/long one which he would have to drive or could you drive him home or to a nearby medical facility if he was severely affected - assuming you both would not be using public transport or taxi?

Barry

User

Posted 15 May 2019 at 23:50

As Barry says there is no guarantee of anything with chemo but I would say if your OH is tolerating it well and is fit and didn't get colds/flu easily before the treatment then it should not be to risky for you to go.

I went through chemo last year from July to Late October, only missed 2/3 days off work, still went out, traveled on Buses, Trains and Tubes, went to Big sports events and didn't get any sign of an infection. Okay so before my PCa Dx I rarely got ill and I suspect that helped.

The other thing I would say is that I found the support I got from friends and family when meeting them out and about was very uplifting and it would be a shame if you were to miss out on that. Weddings are the best of times for that. I was dx 8 weeks before my eldest daughters wedding and the encouragement I got leading up to that and on the day from everyone involved and there on the day was inspiring.

Going out and enjoying yourselves sometimes can be the best medicine.

Good Luck

Andy

User

Posted 16 May 2019 at 00:18

When my father-in-law had chemo, his wife wouldn’t let him go to the pub for those few days in each cycle. It made him miserable. Accept the invitation, don’t eat the shellfish, avoid cuddling small children (just in case they develop spots the very next day) and fingers crossed all will be well.

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User

Posted 16 May 2019 at 00:50

Spotty children - hell.

We were having a lovely family Christmas until grandson #1 came down with chickenpox. Net result
- very miserable and itchy 2 year old
- new baby (who midwife said would be protected by her mummy’s antibodies) - chicken pox
- both son in laws - chicken pox
- one son in law has complications and is admitted to hospital leaving mummy to cope with spotty new baby alone
- premature labour - unexpected additional grandchild who had got ill in the womb due to the chicken pox flying around
- any male family members who had not been struck down using the chicken pox as an excuse to go to the pub whenever possible
- daughter that works in NHS not allowed to see patients just in case
- knackered nana (me)

Don’t get me started on shellfish ...

I guess the question for you is at the minute, is he avoiding contact with people (germs) in days 7-10 or is he just doing fairly normal stuff? If he is being fairly normal, why would a wedding be any riskier than going to the shop or seeing friends in the cycles he has already completed? Fingers crossed he stays well for these next infusions x

Edited by member 16 May 2019 at 00:51 | Reason: Not specified

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User

Posted 16 May 2019 at 07:21

Hi Betty

I guess it also depends on how he is tolerating the chemo. I was okay in week 3 only, any socialising in week 2 I couldn't make because I felt so poorly.

I also picked up a shocking cold while childminding my granddaughter during infusion 3 which set me back so Lyn's point on kids is worth noting.

Conversely Kev on here ran a marathon during chemo, everyone reacts differently.

If he's feeling up to it he should go.

Regards

John

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User

Posted 15 May 2019 at 22:15

Barry

User

Posted 15 May 2019 at 23:50

Going out and enjoying yourselves sometimes can be the best medicine.

Good Luck

Andy

User

Posted 16 May 2019 at 00:08

It’s an hour and a half drive with an overnight stay in hotel - so there would be somewhere for him to retire to if he was feeling unwell. He is intending to drive as he is a good driver and I hate driving (especially motorways 😬). But other family members would be on hand to help out if he needed to get to A&E. Everything crossed that wouldn’t be necessary. I was thinking more of the mixing with others and GERMS. Some members of the community have said that they avoid mixing with others at that stage of the cycle. I do agree Andy that he would get a big lift by seeing family and being at his nephew’s wedding. He needs a lift at the moment and would be extremely fed up not to go.

Thanks Barry and Andy. I appreciate your replies.

Betty

User

Posted 16 May 2019 at 00:18

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User

Posted 16 May 2019 at 00:23

I’m much encouraged that you carried on regardless, Andy - and got away with it. He has had a fairly robust constitution before the PCa. So I’m thinking we should certainly plan on him going and hope for the best.

Thanks again

Betty

User

Posted 16 May 2019 at 00:25

Thanks Lyn, that sounds like good advice. No shellfish. No children. Can’t be that difficult 😀xx

User

Posted 16 May 2019 at 00:50

Spotty children - hell.

Don’t get me started on shellfish ...

Edited by member 16 May 2019 at 00:51 | Reason: Not specified

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User

Posted 16 May 2019 at 07:21

Hi Betty

I guess it also depends on how he is tolerating the chemo. I was okay in week 3 only, any socialising in week 2 I couldn't make because I felt so poorly.

I also picked up a shocking cold while childminding my granddaughter during infusion 3 which set me back so Lyn's point on kids is worth noting.

Conversely Kev on here ran a marathon during chemo, everyone reacts differently.

If he's feeling up to it he should go.

Regards

John

User

Posted 16 May 2019 at 08:28

That sounds awful Lyn. How did you all cope!? But thanks. Fingers crossed for June. We need to think positive! x

User

Posted 16 May 2019 at 08:36

Thanks John. It’s good to get all this positive reinforcement. One doesn’t want to be reckless - but life is for living, right?

All the best

Betty

User

Posted 14 Jun 2019 at 16:16

Unfortunately, the 5th cycle of chemo has been postponed due to my husband’s left leg being swollen and puffy, almost half as big again as it should be. (This is the same side as his fractured hip/hip replacement and subsequent 5 fractions of radiotherapy to that site). He was referred for an ultrasound the next day in case of blood clot. Result: no blood clot. Then yesterday he had a CT scan to investigate possible cause. He has a review meeting next Wednesday with the 5th cycle of chemo provisionally booked for the Friday. I have consulted Google which suggests Lymphoedema? Is that serious?

Bit worried

Thanks

Betty

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