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Dad's increasing PSA

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User
Posted 22 May 2019 at 07:36

Hi everyone,

I'm posting about my dad, who I'm really worried about as my grandfather died of advanced prostate cancer nearly 30 years ago now, and I'm worried that my dad is becoming fatalistic about it, and in denial at the same time!

My dad will be 78 years old this year and has had a problem with frequent urination for many years,  slowly getting worse as nowadays he gets up 3-4 times a night to use the bathroom. We also cannot go out without him searching for a public toilet after a couple of hours. He gets embarrassed discussing his pee problems, like my grandfather was, and so hasn't talked to a doctor for many years about it, just accepting it as part of getting older.

Now my dad doesn't live in the UK, and where he lives, there isn't an established medical system where patients are under the primary care of a GP etc. My dad pays privately to get all his bloods done - he and my mum have been doing this for years, cholesterol checks etc. and he has also been monitoring his PSA, mindful of my grandfather's demise from PC (he was diagnosed late when he was about 80 or 81, and lived to 84).

Sometime in 2017, his PSA was 9. He mentioned having a higher score last year (2018) but neglected to tell us what it was. Recently, he went for another PSA test and it was 14.6. He is now saying he wants to take supplements and herbs and to watch/wait for another 1-2 months before taking another PSA test - before deciding to consult a doctor. Of course I'm worried sick that this is an unnecessary delay and he could be risking a spread of PC if he does not get a diagnosis fast enough. The steady rise is enough to worry me - as well as the frequent toilet trips which have worsened slightly in the last 4-5 years.

Am I right to worry and is it OK for him to wait another 1-2 months to consult the urologist? At his age, is it safe to wait - I've read rather contradictory info on this.

Thanks for any insights/feedback!

Worried Daughter

 

User
Posted 22 May 2019 at 11:35
You could make the point herbs might reduce PSA but that doesn't mean they're having a positive effect on any underlying health issues.

As regards PCa and delay. it's usually correct PCa is slow growing however delay can reduce treatment options.

It might not be denial more your dad is aware of possible lifetime side effects of treatments, if needed, so delaying taking matters further at this point in time.

A difficult choice which only your dad can make and which you can support him in whatever decision he makes.

Ray

User
Posted 22 May 2019 at 14:51
You could tell him it is causing you great concern which is true and say it would make you feel a little easier if he was thoroughly checked out so please would he do it for your sake and take appropriate treatment? A bit of emotional blackmail for his benefit. By the time PCa has reached an advanced stage leading up to death it can be really hard on the man. That's just one reason why many of us hope that by deferring this stage it we will die of something else meantime. Medical intervention may help here but herbs won't !
Barry
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User
Posted 22 May 2019 at 09:51

He should get checked out without waiting.

There are other possible explanations, but there is no point in waiting, particularly with a family history.

There are no supplements/herbs that will in any way compensate for waiting.

User
Posted 22 May 2019 at 09:57
Hi Andy, thanks for the reply.

I know that the best thing is to check it out with a urologist ASAP, but he is in denial and won't budge on the matter, he's insistent on giving the herbs and supplements a go before he'll even consider seeing a doctor.

I have been having sleepless nights over this, particularly as it brings the trauma of my grandfather's illness back.

I guess I just want to know if he won't go right now instead of waiting 1-2 months, if it's going to be a decision he will regret. At this point, short of hauling him to a doctor at gunpoint myself (!), I don't think he will listen to me!

ww

User
Posted 22 May 2019 at 10:28
1 to 2 months probably isn't going to make a difference especially as your dad is in his late 70s.

I think the bigger issue here is the denial and herbs!!

Why bother monitoring your PSA and then do nothing when it goes up??

Just tell him to man up and see a doctor or stop testing - absolutely no point doing anything else!

User
Posted 22 May 2019 at 11:35
You could make the point herbs might reduce PSA but that doesn't mean they're having a positive effect on any underlying health issues.

As regards PCa and delay. it's usually correct PCa is slow growing however delay can reduce treatment options.

It might not be denial more your dad is aware of possible lifetime side effects of treatments, if needed, so delaying taking matters further at this point in time.

A difficult choice which only your dad can make and which you can support him in whatever decision he makes.

Ray

User
Posted 22 May 2019 at 14:51
You could tell him it is causing you great concern which is true and say it would make you feel a little easier if he was thoroughly checked out so please would he do it for your sake and take appropriate treatment? A bit of emotional blackmail for his benefit. By the time PCa has reached an advanced stage leading up to death it can be really hard on the man. That's just one reason why many of us hope that by deferring this stage it we will die of something else meantime. Medical intervention may help here but herbs won't !
Barry
User
Posted 22 May 2019 at 15:29

Hi all,
I appreciate your thoughts and input on this. It is a delicate matter and I definitely think his age factors into this. He probably thinks he is too old for any invasive treatment, having seen what his dad (my grandad) went through, because he had it diagnosed at a late stage and it had already spread... My dad may be mistaken about the kinds of treatments there are now, because 30 years ago it didn't feel like my grandfather had that many options. Additionally, I think my dad might be trying to protect my mum (foolishly, I know) from worrying about him. My mum doesn't react well to any news regarding the big C.

I am probably going down the emotional blackmail route if nothing else works! But I am going to have to wait a month for him to finish his herbal course, he is totally adamant about that. :(

Do people at his age still think it worth investigating, if treatment might mean a worse quality of life? But surely it would be even worse to let it advance and spread without intervention?

wd

 

Edited by member 22 May 2019 at 15:30  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 22 May 2019 at 17:12
Defo get it investigated, lots of options for him..
 
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