And so I write this from my attic bedroom in southern France not knowing if it’ll be my last ever post.
I am day 23 into radiotherapy of my groin and para aortic lymph nodes to try and relieve some of the Edema pressure this leg is causing. The past three days have been the worst ever. My weight has plummeted from from 92 at the start to 87 and now 84kg and I have not slept for four nights. I haven’t had an appetite for two weeks nor eaten properly save for the odd peach or slice of toast a day. I have no energy, my body looks emaciated and I am fearing the worst. Yesterday, I hardly made it to hospital and had to be wheeled in for my radiotherapy.the doctor prescribed tabs for my diarrhoea and sickness. Today, I asked another about the lack of sleep and was given sleeping tabs.
My question is, is this it? Am I end stage, near the end? I feel wretched and cannot imagine feeling any worse. If it is to get worse, I do not have the courage or strength for this.
I am truly scared.
Bazza