Diagnosis of biochemical relapse has destroyed my life

I can't offer you any suggestions re the depression; I think you have to trust your doctors to get the right balance of meds and therapy and then you will see some improvement.

What I can tell you is that if they are planning on giving you salvage RT, then it must be one of the pelvic iliac nodes that looks iffy rather than a more distant one and they believe they can get at it with targeted radiation. John had salvage RT more than 7 years ago now, and it appears to have been successful; he was in denial when he first had the recurrence but now he only thinks about cancer when the routine PSA test is due. There is life after recurrence ... it might just take a while to get your head round it. Some people say that the cancer coming back is harder to deal with than the initial diagnosis, particularly if they had a surgeon who implied that RP was a sure-fire winner.

It might be easier to think of this as not the cancer coming back but a tiny bit that was left behind; it is very tiny and hads taken a year to even make its presence felt so if left, would probably take many, many years to cause any problems. My dad had a recurrence 15 years post-RP and the surgeon has calculated that it will take another 25 years to kill him so Dad is not having any treatment for the time being (but he is significantly older than you).

Thank you Lyn that's very kind of you to reply. But to give more (very tedious) detail - I was diagnosed with Pca 3+4 last year after my first PSA test at 59 years  - 7.4. Went immediately to urologist and had 3T MRI and biopsy and bone biopsy.  There was no evidence of spread - Had a robotic prostatectomy.  Post prostatectomy pathology confirmed Gleason 3+4 T2+, no surgical margins but the plus being because of a 1mm incision.  No lymph node involvement only 1 lymph node removed though.  PSA results were quarterly 0.09 (3 months after surgery),<0.03, 0.14, 0.10 then I went to see the oncologist, and she did a repeat PSA a month later at 0.13.  Next step was a PSMA PET scan - clear, apart from some tiny subchondral activity in the pelvic iliac bone thought not to be PCa related.  I had an MRI scan which was inconclusive, thought not to be metastatic but  with a repeat MRI due next month which will (hopefully) confirm this since then I have been on Bicalutemide and PSA went down to 0.06 then 0.050, and I have just today switched to the injections to bring the PSA down further.  The plan is that assuming the iliac is not a met, I will have salvage radiotherapy to the prostate bed and lymph nodes, and if it is a met (disaster) to the iliac, the prostate bed and (protectively) the pelvic lymph nodes.  Basically waiting for repeat MRI.  Hard to get my head around this as just fall within the definition of biochemical recurrence with a persistent PSA above 0.1, although the urologist surgeon wanted to wait and see if the PSA rose consecutively or above 0.2 before initiating scans etc.  I dont know whats going to happen but whatever it is it doesn't sound great.  Trying to keep my head above water. 

I think it may help that there are many here in the same boat. My progression was very similar to yours and I have had a positive outcome to my SRT to date. There is a very good chance that his is down to residual cells or very local spread. Assume the best and act as needed as events unfold. The hardest thing I had to get into my head was that the universe unfolds as it needs to and we need to react with our best self to that.