Originally Posted by: Online Community MemberI could not find any reference to the subject of strap on sex for those of us where an erection is no longer possible. Does anyone have any information or tips or things they would like to discuss on the subject. I feel very much alone with all this and even 5 years on am struggling to cope with my predicament. I want to be positive but need to contact others who feel the same and maybe we can help and support each other.
I am sorry to hear about your feeling of being alone and your struggles over the past 5yrs. My journey is fairly recent compared to yours and in the short space of time, I have tried everything from tablets to pumps. I am 10yrs older than my wife (not that it matters!) and sex is a crucial part of our relationship. It is also easy to focus on the disease - and also easy to be grateful with the status quo that we are still alive and hence we have hope. I am fully dry in the day, 100%, however not so lucky when I am asleep, on some days I wake up, the pads are dry on some days the bed is soaking wet. I will this leave that for another day!
Sex by penetration is important to us, however my wife has not expressed any displeasure or hinted at being sexually frustrated. I did feel sadness at not being able to satisfy her and wonder whether we were drifting apart. I did a fair bit of research just before Christmas and found the answer - Good old strap on.. Not just any strap on - The Zorro Perfect Fit (you can google it), not tried any other ones, but this one has re-ignited our passion between the sheets! I even bought a miniature bullet to drop into the hollow bit, my missus getting multiple orgasms now with penetration. Where does that leave me sexually? Well initially, I would use the strap on, and afterwards I will masturbate until I came. Yesterday, we managed to orgasm together, with each thrusting action, she massaged by penis.... I also asked her how she felt with the strap on dildo, her reply was "not as big as you, but it is manageable. That was cue to go shopping again, on recommendation from a member here I got the clearly ample penis extender, this is a sleeve which I now fit on the the strap on dildo, now I feel like a porn star. My wife has asked for it 2ce already!
Long term who knows, I just have to keep the faith, and keep looking forward, every day is a new day. I was supposedly nerve sparred bi-laterally... I recall an advice I was given by the wife of a friend who had surgery before me, she said "Accept there will be no sex, and your penis will go to sleep for a while..." Thankfully, I found this forum and I am not going to accept that!