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User
Posted 03 Oct 2019 at 23:18

So this is for any one who is diagnosed as metastic , I don’t post anymore because our journey has Ended.

This post isn’t so much for those men that have  left us it’s to maybe give hope for newbies to make men and wives , families of those men to realise that yes , terminal means exactly that it’s the end of the line but hey there is a lot of stations in between make every moment count , make every memory count . I really mean that because life is made up of so many moments . Live your life  every day to its maximum.

I can hear all of you recently diagnosed with a terminal diagnosis asking or saying she is totally bonkers she can’t possibly understand, ? Oh yes I do .

its sometimes only when we are faced with the worst case scenario that we can face the best case scenario 

 

so many men where given such a short time to live (  and I will name them ) but they all LIVED to the end , when I first joined this forum a very lovely man had his call name as

.life is for living xxx

allisons John what a fighter 

Paul Yorkhull , ever decreasing circles 

Si Si Ness , my heart is broken 

Trevor Boothe my love xxx

BFN

Julie xxx

 

 

 

This year has been very poignant for me because so many of those wonderful men have passed this year 

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON
User
Posted 03 Oct 2019 at 23:18

So this is for any one who is diagnosed as metastic , I don’t post anymore because our journey has Ended.

This post isn’t so much for those men that have  left us it’s to maybe give hope for newbies to make men and wives , families of those men to realise that yes , terminal means exactly that it’s the end of the line but hey there is a lot of stations in between make every moment count , make every memory count . I really mean that because life is made up of so many moments . Live your life  every day to its maximum.

I can hear all of you recently diagnosed with a terminal diagnosis asking or saying she is totally bonkers she can’t possibly understand, ? Oh yes I do .

its sometimes only when we are faced with the worst case scenario that we can face the best case scenario 

 

so many men where given such a short time to live (  and I will name them ) but they all LIVED to the end , when I first joined this forum a very lovely man had his call name as

.life is for living xxx

allisons John what a fighter 

Paul Yorkhull , ever decreasing circles 

Si Si Ness , my heart is broken 

Trevor Boothe my love xxx

BFN

Julie xxx

 

 

 

This year has been very poignant for me because so many of those wonderful men have passed this year 

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON
User
Posted 04 Oct 2019 at 21:21

So many friends lost - I would go back a bit in time and add superstars like:

Nimeniton - for his grace and his thoughtful posts

Alathays - for never accepting the limitations of his diagnosis or treatment

Spurspark - for being the early guinea pig who tried many of the treatments that we now accept as standard, even though they sometimes made him very, very ill

Old Al - a wicked sense of humour and not old at all

Andy Ripley - John still has a raggedy old PCUK t-shirt with his words on the front ....

"Dare we hope? We dare.

Can we hope? We can.

Should we hope? We must.

We must, because to do otherwise is to waste the most precious of gifts, given so freely by God to all of us. So when we do die, it will be with hope and it will be easy and our hearts will not be broken."

All my love to you, Julie, and all the other wives, partners, family members & friends who have lost someone recently xxx

Edited by member 04 Oct 2019 at 21:22  | Reason: italics needed

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 06 Oct 2019 at 00:50

Hi Mrs Mas,

i hope my post has given you some insight that even with the worst case scenario there is still a lot of life to be lived .

Trevor managed 5 years with the worst case scenario and a lot of the above mentioned men have survived for a good number of years after diagnosis.

although hard reading I found it helpful to read others bios and journeys , sorry mine is a bit like war and peace and I can remember reading all of the threads from those men that Lynn has mentioned . I found it helpful but I understand it’s not for everyone. 

My reason for posting was to just say to others who find themselves in a similar situation and diagnosis that after the shock of that diagnosis has receded there is still an awful lot of life to be lived and to try and not waste that time , just to make every moment count because we had 5 years and that’s an awful lot of time to waste.

BFN 

Julie XXX

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON
User
Posted 08 Oct 2019 at 19:54

A few years ago I wrote a poem likening our pca journey to a train journey I am guessing that most of you haven’t read it . If you get a chance I would recommend it 🤗

A terminal diagnosis of anything is so scary because it makes us focus on Time . Making us aware that ourselves or our loved ones will only have a certain amount of time left , but each one of us with or without a terminal diagnosis only have a certain amount of time . We will all die that’s a certainty, we will all leave loved ones at some point . Trevor was given 18mths to 2 years but survived almost 5 years , he could have come out of that appointment and been run over by a bus as could have happened to myself . 

A terminal diagnosis pushes our focus on the end game until we are consumed with that thought but if you reflect on that we are all terminal, none of us will live forever just some of us are given a time frame .

so to follow on from that poem I am going to describe all of our life journeys in the form of a train journey . 

We all start our journey in life with an open ticket but no return journey 

some only make it a few stops and there journey terminates , they never got to admire the passing scenery.

for others they manage a quarter of  there journey before the ticket master says sorry yours is the next stop , these had only just managed to admire the fantastic scenery.

for those that have travelled half of the journey there can be all kinds of hiccups , leaves on the line , maintenance work , staff shortage. Some people at this point will have there journey terminated others will get a connecting train to be able to carry on there journey .

three quarters in on the journey for most of us , train travel is a nightmare cancellations , overcrowding, Travel disruptions. We have somehow forgotten to enjoy the journey we at this point are focused on our destination . We don’t see the scenery or the beauty of what’s out side the train , we only focus on the journey and the journeys end .

senior citizens rail card we can sit back smugly relishing the fact that we can’t remember where we are going or why , but we enjoy the scenery as we approach our finale destination. 

My point is along the way of our journey we get side tracked and bogged down with life’s struggles and we forget to enjoy the scenery and life’s moments when we are all travelling in the same direction.

BFN

Julie XXX

 

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON
User
Posted 04 Oct 2019 at 22:00
so agree Lyn

I remember when Tony was first diagnosed Andy Ripley was a great help and an inspiration amongst all the others in this post.

Barbara xx

User
Posted 05 Oct 2019 at 10:24

Dear Julie, 

Thanks to you and others who have posted on your thread. My husband was diagnosed a few months ago with advanced prostate cancer. We both still feel in shock but joining this forum (admittedly mainly to read) is I think going to be the best thing I could have done. 

Love Mrs MAS 

Edited by member 07 Oct 2019 at 08:03  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 06 Oct 2019 at 10:13

Thank you so much, Julie. Rob and I have just started on this journey and your final paragraph will help me along the way. I am so grateful to have found this forum. Thank you, everyone.

Shelagh xx

User
Posted 07 Oct 2019 at 13:38

Thanks for your honesty Julie. Reading your post has given me the courage to start my own conversation on a forum I never ever thought I would ever look at. 

Love Mrs MAS

User
Posted 08 Oct 2019 at 17:07

What lovely kind words Julie. Thank you for still thinking of others.

Makes me feel a little guilty for worrying about life after my last HT jab.

I hope life is now being kind to you after the sad loss of your beloved Trevor. He was lucky to have you as his partner on his journey.

Bless you

Phil

User
Posted 08 Oct 2019 at 20:50
As brilliant now as the first time I read it xxx
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

Show Most Thanked Posts
User
Posted 04 Oct 2019 at 21:21

So many friends lost - I would go back a bit in time and add superstars like:

Nimeniton - for his grace and his thoughtful posts

Alathays - for never accepting the limitations of his diagnosis or treatment

Spurspark - for being the early guinea pig who tried many of the treatments that we now accept as standard, even though they sometimes made him very, very ill

Old Al - a wicked sense of humour and not old at all

Andy Ripley - John still has a raggedy old PCUK t-shirt with his words on the front ....

"Dare we hope? We dare.

Can we hope? We can.

Should we hope? We must.

We must, because to do otherwise is to waste the most precious of gifts, given so freely by God to all of us. So when we do die, it will be with hope and it will be easy and our hearts will not be broken."

All my love to you, Julie, and all the other wives, partners, family members & friends who have lost someone recently xxx

Edited by member 04 Oct 2019 at 21:22  | Reason: italics needed

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 04 Oct 2019 at 22:00
so agree Lyn

I remember when Tony was first diagnosed Andy Ripley was a great help and an inspiration amongst all the others in this post.

Barbara xx

User
Posted 05 Oct 2019 at 10:24

Dear Julie, 

Thanks to you and others who have posted on your thread. My husband was diagnosed a few months ago with advanced prostate cancer. We both still feel in shock but joining this forum (admittedly mainly to read) is I think going to be the best thing I could have done. 

Love Mrs MAS 

Edited by member 07 Oct 2019 at 08:03  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 06 Oct 2019 at 00:50

Hi Mrs Mas,

i hope my post has given you some insight that even with the worst case scenario there is still a lot of life to be lived .

Trevor managed 5 years with the worst case scenario and a lot of the above mentioned men have survived for a good number of years after diagnosis.

although hard reading I found it helpful to read others bios and journeys , sorry mine is a bit like war and peace and I can remember reading all of the threads from those men that Lynn has mentioned . I found it helpful but I understand it’s not for everyone. 

My reason for posting was to just say to others who find themselves in a similar situation and diagnosis that after the shock of that diagnosis has receded there is still an awful lot of life to be lived and to try and not waste that time , just to make every moment count because we had 5 years and that’s an awful lot of time to waste.

BFN 

Julie XXX

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON
User
Posted 06 Oct 2019 at 10:13

Thank you so much, Julie. Rob and I have just started on this journey and your final paragraph will help me along the way. I am so grateful to have found this forum. Thank you, everyone.

Shelagh xx

User
Posted 07 Oct 2019 at 13:38

Thanks for your honesty Julie. Reading your post has given me the courage to start my own conversation on a forum I never ever thought I would ever look at. 

Love Mrs MAS

User
Posted 08 Oct 2019 at 17:07

What lovely kind words Julie. Thank you for still thinking of others.

Makes me feel a little guilty for worrying about life after my last HT jab.

I hope life is now being kind to you after the sad loss of your beloved Trevor. He was lucky to have you as his partner on his journey.

Bless you

Phil

User
Posted 08 Oct 2019 at 19:54

A few years ago I wrote a poem likening our pca journey to a train journey I am guessing that most of you haven’t read it . If you get a chance I would recommend it 🤗

A terminal diagnosis of anything is so scary because it makes us focus on Time . Making us aware that ourselves or our loved ones will only have a certain amount of time left , but each one of us with or without a terminal diagnosis only have a certain amount of time . We will all die that’s a certainty, we will all leave loved ones at some point . Trevor was given 18mths to 2 years but survived almost 5 years , he could have come out of that appointment and been run over by a bus as could have happened to myself . 

A terminal diagnosis pushes our focus on the end game until we are consumed with that thought but if you reflect on that we are all terminal, none of us will live forever just some of us are given a time frame .

so to follow on from that poem I am going to describe all of our life journeys in the form of a train journey . 

We all start our journey in life with an open ticket but no return journey 

some only make it a few stops and there journey terminates , they never got to admire the passing scenery.

for others they manage a quarter of  there journey before the ticket master says sorry yours is the next stop , these had only just managed to admire the fantastic scenery.

for those that have travelled half of the journey there can be all kinds of hiccups , leaves on the line , maintenance work , staff shortage. Some people at this point will have there journey terminated others will get a connecting train to be able to carry on there journey .

three quarters in on the journey for most of us , train travel is a nightmare cancellations , overcrowding, Travel disruptions. We have somehow forgotten to enjoy the journey we at this point are focused on our destination . We don’t see the scenery or the beauty of what’s out side the train , we only focus on the journey and the journeys end .

senior citizens rail card we can sit back smugly relishing the fact that we can’t remember where we are going or why , but we enjoy the scenery as we approach our finale destination. 

My point is along the way of our journey we get side tracked and bogged down with life’s struggles and we forget to enjoy the scenery and life’s moments when we are all travelling in the same direction.

BFN

Julie XXX

 

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON
User
Posted 08 Oct 2019 at 20:50
As brilliant now as the first time I read it xxx
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

 
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