Hi Keith,
Another way of looking at it is relief they found it. I always felt that relief more than worrying about why me.
One of the drivers for me was that I want to live longer than my wife. Although she's 4 years younger than me and comes from a family of long livers so it's not likely, so 20 more years will do. That being the case if they'd said they wanted to cut off anything I'd have likely done it.
My own opinion is that the op isn't so difficult, depending on your fitness. My wife only came to the hospital twice, once to drop me off and second to pick me up. Beyond getting a cup of tea on the first morning back, as I was wanting to lie in, it didn't cause her any work. She did chauffer me round for a few weeks though as I wasn't driving till it healed. Although it was stressful for her for the 3 months of diagnosis and operation. No doubt your wife will have felt most of that by now anyway.
To be honest I can't see an option but to have treatment. If you get to 75 they are reluctant to do the op as you need to be reasonably healthy. The op slopes you head down which puts some strain on you.
Let us know how you get on.
All the best, Peter