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User
Posted 18 Oct 2019 at 16:59

I am completely new here, it is my first post and I know very little about any of the  jargon used here!

my husband had an MRI , the one with the “die” that is injected! As I said, I am not at all fluent in this medical language.

he is 52 & was told yesterday he needs a biopsy as the scan showed some “abnormal area”.  The biopsy is scheduled for a week on Monday and it is fair to say, I am very worried.
I am not sharing this news with our kids, family or friends as I want to protect them, especially as we don’t have yet a diagnosis.  
His PSA was - I think - under 1??? but we were told it is higher than 90% of men his age!

I find it very hard to cope with the anxiety this news has produced, maybe because I very simply equate “biopsy” with cancer!

I feel a little bit of a fraud for being here when we don’t even have a diagnosis but my fear, my anxiety is very real.

I guess what I would like from this post of mine is a ... “dummy guide” in the world of prostrate, for a worried wife!

Thank you 

User
Posted 18 Oct 2019 at 21:16
Anxiety is completely understandable, but you just do need to wait for the diagnostic process to run its course. It’ll probably take about a fortnight to get the biopsy results. If the biopsy does find cancer, the next step would probably be a bone scan, which might mean another month’s wait, so I’m afraid it is all rather long and drawn out.

The best thing to do is to read or download the factsheets in the information area of this site. They’re full of helpful information about prostate cancer and its treatment.

Localised prostate cancer is a very, very treatable condition. Don’t assume that a positive diagnosis is a death sentence. Most men diagnosed with prostate cancer live out a perfectly normal life expectancy. Treatment is certainly life-changing in terms of things like sexual function. That’s something you do have to come to terms with.

But honestly, at this stage there’s just no benefit to going down the “but what if...” road. Wait and see. We’ve all been where you are now and know how tough waiting can be, but it’s just something you have to get through one day at a time.

Very best wishes,

Chris

User
Posted 18 Oct 2019 at 22:00

I can understand your anxiety but try not to equate biopsy with cancer - it is one way of finding out if there is anything of concern . Waiting for results etc is always the hardest part before you get a diagnosis one way or another. Also, if cancer is found, it is usually very treatable and many men live long lives even with the disease.

It takes a while to get over the shock of having to go through tests etc, whatever the outcome and it is very normal to  feel tense, confused and worried. Try to take each day at a time and carry on doing your normal things and enjoying all that you can until you have definite answers and then you can move forwards. Ask questions and talk to the medical personnel if you have any concerns and use the toolkit to be be well informed so you will know what to ask if the diagnosis reveals cancer. You will be amazed at how strong you become and your husband will be glad of your support whether the tests are positive or negative. Good luck and let us know how you get on.

 

Edited by member 27 Oct 2019 at 15:35  | Reason: Personal

User
Posted 11 Nov 2019 at 18:18

Hello Everyone,

We have got good news today with the biopsy showing no cancer in any of the samples ... :)

 

He will have another blood test in 6 months and see what the PSA is then.

sending everyone cyber hugs & good thoughts for everyone’s struggles and worries.

 

User
Posted 11 Nov 2019 at 18:27

So, so happy for you and your husband.😊

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User
Posted 18 Oct 2019 at 21:16
Anxiety is completely understandable, but you just do need to wait for the diagnostic process to run its course. It’ll probably take about a fortnight to get the biopsy results. If the biopsy does find cancer, the next step would probably be a bone scan, which might mean another month’s wait, so I’m afraid it is all rather long and drawn out.

The best thing to do is to read or download the factsheets in the information area of this site. They’re full of helpful information about prostate cancer and its treatment.

Localised prostate cancer is a very, very treatable condition. Don’t assume that a positive diagnosis is a death sentence. Most men diagnosed with prostate cancer live out a perfectly normal life expectancy. Treatment is certainly life-changing in terms of things like sexual function. That’s something you do have to come to terms with.

But honestly, at this stage there’s just no benefit to going down the “but what if...” road. Wait and see. We’ve all been where you are now and know how tough waiting can be, but it’s just something you have to get through one day at a time.

Very best wishes,

Chris

User
Posted 18 Oct 2019 at 22:00

I can understand your anxiety but try not to equate biopsy with cancer - it is one way of finding out if there is anything of concern . Waiting for results etc is always the hardest part before you get a diagnosis one way or another. Also, if cancer is found, it is usually very treatable and many men live long lives even with the disease.

It takes a while to get over the shock of having to go through tests etc, whatever the outcome and it is very normal to  feel tense, confused and worried. Try to take each day at a time and carry on doing your normal things and enjoying all that you can until you have definite answers and then you can move forwards. Ask questions and talk to the medical personnel if you have any concerns and use the toolkit to be be well informed so you will know what to ask if the diagnosis reveals cancer. You will be amazed at how strong you become and your husband will be glad of your support whether the tests are positive or negative. Good luck and let us know how you get on.

 

Edited by member 27 Oct 2019 at 15:35  | Reason: Personal

User
Posted 19 Oct 2019 at 00:13

I chose not to tell anyone until I knew what the prognosis was, so I completely understand your position on wanting to keep it to yourself at the moment. However, your children may well pick up that there's something wrong, and can easily start thinking bad things which aren't the case, such as maybe you and your husband are splitting up, and maybe it's their fault, etc. This is something to watch out for.

Macmillan do an excellent free book on how children may react, what they'll understand at different ages, and how to tell them. You might want to start reading that, but obviously, don't let your children see it! I can't find a link to it on their website, but if you pop into the Macmillan cancer centre in the hospital, they will have it.

Although I couldn't find the book on the website, they do seem to have the information there:
Talking to children when an adult has cancer

 

User
Posted 19 Oct 2019 at 00:19

Ah, found the Macmillan book, although you might still want to get a physical copy from their cancer centre.

Talking to Children and Teenagers when an Adult has Cancer

The reason I mention this now before you have a cancer diagnosis is because your children may pick up something now, even if you end up not having cancer (which I hope is the case).

User
Posted 19 Oct 2019 at 11:34

What you must remember that even if you have a diagnosis of PCa (see, more jargon), it is about the least worst and most survivable cancer to have.

Don’t worry too much, as in the last week here someone like you has had the all-clear of her old man, having feared the worst.

Best of luck, however it pans out.

Cheers, John.

Edited by member 19 Oct 2019 at 13:55  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 19 Oct 2019 at 16:20
All good info , yes this cancer , if diagnosed, is most treatable , I also found it most ‘ helpful ‘ knowing quite a few of my friends had this cancer , and I found it good to talk about it exchanging info between us .
User
Posted 20 Oct 2019 at 00:30

 If his psa is less than 1 then it's pretty low.   On here we expect psa to be at least 7 and that's not too bad.  Some have 200 or 2000.  Mine was nearly 10 and that's regarded as the border between not so bad and possibly not so good but not that bad.

PSA alone isn't a judge, a low psa and something on the MRI could be a few things.  On here you'll read mainly the worst case. as most of us had it.

I'd recommend you make sure you know the numbers next time you meet the doctor.  For example was it less than 1.  Together all these numbers create a picture that gives an idea about a probability.

Whatever it might be come back and let us know.  It's good to hear good news and this site likes to give help.

 

Edited by member 20 Oct 2019 at 00:33  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 26 Oct 2019 at 14:07
After I was referred to hospital, going through the various stages of diagnosis (rectal exam, MRI, bone scan, meeting with surgeon, meeting with oncologist, considering the options and deciding which to choose, starting hormone therapy, all of which were spread out over several months) I got impatient and spoke with my lead practitioner oncology nurse. She told me ' Don't panic. You have plenty of time. We could do nothing for 6 months and your cancer would probably nor develop much, if at all.' I have an intermediate cancer (PSA 18, Gleason 4+3, T1c, M0 N0) and am now half way through my course of radiotherapy. Yes, it is scary. But specialists have consistently told me 'This is curable. We are going to cure it. Not slow it down, not treat palliatively. CURE.' and it is that little word which I focus on, and which stops me from getting too depressed, and lifts me up when I feel a bit down. Just focus on that word. In 3 weeks time I will be cured. I hope your husband will be able to say the same. Best of luck.
User
Posted 27 Oct 2019 at 09:56

What a fabulous reply- thank you very much.

i will keep reading these kind & informative replies, take each day at a time, focus on work, kids... life & with the help of a good tumble of... whiskey every evening, will face the future straight on!

 

User
Posted 11 Nov 2019 at 18:18

Hello Everyone,

We have got good news today with the biopsy showing no cancer in any of the samples ... :)

 

He will have another blood test in 6 months and see what the PSA is then.

sending everyone cyber hugs & good thoughts for everyone’s struggles and worries.

 

User
Posted 11 Nov 2019 at 18:27

So, so happy for you and your husband.😊

User
Posted 11 Nov 2019 at 19:02

Wonderful news!

“live life & don’t sweat the little things...”

Cxxx

User
Posted 12 Nov 2019 at 17:44

It’s good that your man is having the suspicions checked out. 

If he turns out to have a localised growth the clinical folk will help him decide if it just needs to be kept an eye on, so to speak, or whether it needs to be removed or treated. 

Even if it’s spread a little treatments have advanced so much in recent years that they’re likely to cure it. The cure rates for PCa are very high these days.

My PSA level was over 300 (so off the scale) and I have locally advanced PCa which will be seen to in the new year. Meanwhile I keep on keeping on!

 

 

User
Posted 12 Nov 2019 at 18:05

Just seen this post - great stuff!

Very best wishes.

User
Posted 12 Nov 2019 at 19:35
Great news

Best wishes

User
Posted 14 Nov 2019 at 20:49
With a PSA of under 1 this was always the most likely outcome, but now you know and can stop worrying about it!

Best wishes,

Chris

User
Posted 18 Nov 2019 at 16:47

Anxiety is completely normal. Post away here. 

User
Posted 18 Nov 2019 at 16:58

Agree with the other posts. Stay positive and occupied until you know what the result will be. Hard to do I know. 

User
Posted 18 Nov 2019 at 17:05

Good to hear your news. 

User
Posted 18 Nov 2019 at 19:15

Good news. Now you can relax and enjoy life 

 
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