I'm interested in conversations about and I want to talk about
Know exactly what you want?
Show search

Notification

Error

lost sexual function desire and libido

Email this conversation Print this conversation
User
Posted 20 Nov 2019 at 16:59

Hi,


Have been on HT since my initial diagnosis in July and now half way through chemo cycles which finishes at end of the year.


Have been told that will have to stay on HT for rest of life .No real desire or libido since July althought before then had good sexual function.


My question is do I have to regard the sexual chapter of my life as over forever or is there anything like taking virgara that may help in the future.


Dont really fancy fafing round with pumps etc. but any practical advice appreciated.


 


 


 

User
Posted 21 Nov 2019 at 01:00

Norman,


There are things you can try, and it's worth asking for an ED clinic appointment unless your GP is knowledgeable in this area. As a PCa patient, you are entitled to referral for ED.


It certainly is worth asking to try out a PDE5 inhibitor, such as sildenafil (Viagra). You do need some arousal for it to work, but it amplifies the effect.


You can look into using erotica or soft porn which can help some people, but you must be careful it doesn't damage your relationship - it would need to be something you both agree to, and not leave one or both of you uncomfortable.


You might look at doing some things you haven't tried before. Addition of sex toys such as vibrators might help. Also, if you have traditionally lead, try swapping roles, possibly combined with S&M restraints, handjob/blowjob, etc


Expect some of the things you tried to fail. Be ready with kisses, cuddles, touch, etc. Think back to things you might have done in teenage courtship before full blown sex, and play those out again. Some people find that can be very rewarding, and take the stress out of performing sex.


Sex may change, but don't assume it's over yet.


 

User
Posted 25 Nov 2019 at 11:53
We have a castrated whippet, he has no problem getting it up and using it (Thinking of calling him Dark Rainbow 😜😜 sorry different thread).

Anyway my point is castration doesn't rob you of the ability to get an erection or to enjoy the sensations. Indeed I have read accounts from guys on here who remain sexually active (sorry can't remember names) while on ADT.

But it does rob you of the desire to chase after "it" so will need conscious and determined effort from yourself our your partner if you want a chance of keeping it.
User
Posted 25 Nov 2019 at 10:48

An interesting area. I only have experience of 6 months bicalutamide (before, during and after my RT) and I did notice some dropping off of libido.


It's possible I may have to go back on some sort of HT as my PSA is rising again. My older brother is in exactly that situation now and has been on bicalutamide for over 2 years. He says his libido has disappeared completely. Desire rather than ability but he doesn't seem that bothered by it. I guess age must be a factor here and he is 77.

User
Posted 25 Nov 2019 at 11:35
What you should remember is that ‘Hormone Therapy’ is the polite name for what is actually ‘Chemical Castration’.

The premise is to reduce testosterone to virtually castration level, to stop the cancer feeding off it, so inevitably your sexual desire is likely to be inhibited as a result, although it might save your life.

There was a poor bugger from India on here a few months ago who elected for actual castration rather than HT as he and his family were unable to afford the HT drugs.

So I hope you end up having sufficient testosterone floating around to continue with your sex life, maybe augmented by chemical assistance?

Best of luck.

Cheers, John.
User
Posted 25 Nov 2019 at 15:24

Hi Norman,


                   I am on prostrap3 and I have finished my chemo, awaiting radiotherapy. As francij1 said:


'But it does rob you of the desire to chase after "it" so will need conscious and determined effort from yourself our your partner if you want a chance of keeping it'


I went to an Ed clinic because I wanted to keep my sex life alive even if it does take me to focus and make a concerted effort. I'm using Cialis 5mg a day however as time has gone on I need 20mg + some Viagra ( not recommended by many on here but works for me )to get a rock hard erection. I use a pump from the NHS for maintenance rather than penetration which helps a lot and also I use a durex cock ring which also helps. I am using every tool in the toolbox ( no pun intended ) to make my relationship as normal as possible.


As Andy says try everything and anything, I'm sure your partner will be pleased you at least make the effort.


Chris


 

Show Most Thanked Posts
User
Posted 21 Nov 2019 at 01:00

Norman,


There are things you can try, and it's worth asking for an ED clinic appointment unless your GP is knowledgeable in this area. As a PCa patient, you are entitled to referral for ED.


It certainly is worth asking to try out a PDE5 inhibitor, such as sildenafil (Viagra). You do need some arousal for it to work, but it amplifies the effect.


You can look into using erotica or soft porn which can help some people, but you must be careful it doesn't damage your relationship - it would need to be something you both agree to, and not leave one or both of you uncomfortable.


You might look at doing some things you haven't tried before. Addition of sex toys such as vibrators might help. Also, if you have traditionally lead, try swapping roles, possibly combined with S&M restraints, handjob/blowjob, etc


Expect some of the things you tried to fail. Be ready with kisses, cuddles, touch, etc. Think back to things you might have done in teenage courtship before full blown sex, and play those out again. Some people find that can be very rewarding, and take the stress out of performing sex.


Sex may change, but don't assume it's over yet.


 

User
Posted 25 Nov 2019 at 10:48

An interesting area. I only have experience of 6 months bicalutamide (before, during and after my RT) and I did notice some dropping off of libido.


It's possible I may have to go back on some sort of HT as my PSA is rising again. My older brother is in exactly that situation now and has been on bicalutamide for over 2 years. He says his libido has disappeared completely. Desire rather than ability but he doesn't seem that bothered by it. I guess age must be a factor here and he is 77.

User
Posted 25 Nov 2019 at 11:35
What you should remember is that ‘Hormone Therapy’ is the polite name for what is actually ‘Chemical Castration’.

The premise is to reduce testosterone to virtually castration level, to stop the cancer feeding off it, so inevitably your sexual desire is likely to be inhibited as a result, although it might save your life.

There was a poor bugger from India on here a few months ago who elected for actual castration rather than HT as he and his family were unable to afford the HT drugs.

So I hope you end up having sufficient testosterone floating around to continue with your sex life, maybe augmented by chemical assistance?

Best of luck.

Cheers, John.
User
Posted 25 Nov 2019 at 11:53
We have a castrated whippet, he has no problem getting it up and using it (Thinking of calling him Dark Rainbow 😜😜 sorry different thread).

Anyway my point is castration doesn't rob you of the ability to get an erection or to enjoy the sensations. Indeed I have read accounts from guys on here who remain sexually active (sorry can't remember names) while on ADT.

But it does rob you of the desire to chase after "it" so will need conscious and determined effort from yourself our your partner if you want a chance of keeping it.
User
Posted 25 Nov 2019 at 12:05

Dogs have an inherent bone in their penis, as do most mammals other than humans, so castrated or not, dogs will always have a ‘boner’...


Cheers, John.

Edited by member 25 Nov 2019 at 12:07  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 25 Nov 2019 at 14:27
Still requires "intent"and blood pressure, which was my point.
User
Posted 25 Nov 2019 at 15:24

Hi Norman,


                   I am on prostrap3 and I have finished my chemo, awaiting radiotherapy. As francij1 said:


'But it does rob you of the desire to chase after "it" so will need conscious and determined effort from yourself our your partner if you want a chance of keeping it'


I went to an Ed clinic because I wanted to keep my sex life alive even if it does take me to focus and make a concerted effort. I'm using Cialis 5mg a day however as time has gone on I need 20mg + some Viagra ( not recommended by many on here but works for me )to get a rock hard erection. I use a pump from the NHS for maintenance rather than penetration which helps a lot and also I use a durex cock ring which also helps. I am using every tool in the toolbox ( no pun intended ) to make my relationship as normal as possible.


As Andy says try everything and anything, I'm sure your partner will be pleased you at least make the effort.


Chris


 

User
Posted 26 Nov 2019 at 11:15
Unfortunately some partners are probably grateful for the prostrap!!
 
Forum Jump  
Email this conversation Print this conversation

Join the online community now.

Click through to become a member and gain access to support, information and real time replies.




MenuTop ▲
©2024 Prostate Cancer UK